Heart of a Croc
by Tomas the Betrayer
Summary: A luckless bandit finds himself enamored with a mistress of kung fu. But sharper than any serpent's tooth is a viper scorned.
1. Chapter 1

The flash of a blade, and a shrill voice cried, "THIEF!"

All commotion in the inn died out as every head turned. At a table in the center of the tap room, a rooster had sprung from his chair to alight upon the backboard. His long sweeping tail feathers were shiny black with faint glimmers of purple and green when the light caught them. He wore a costly robe of similar hue to match his inky plumage, and a sword of obviously expensive make dangled at his waist. Several other roosters dressed in similar style came to their feet around him, bright yellow eyes clapped upon a bewildered pig waitress who stood transfixed by the sight of a dagger hovering before her snout.

"Who approaches us?!" the head rooster squawked as he leveled that deadly implement at the unfortunate server. "Back, brigand! I'll take a hoof for your pernicious thievery! You'll not find us wanting!"

Realizing that everyone in the inn was now staring at her, the waitress glanced about in search of aid before stammering, "Sir, I… only wanted to tell you about our specials!"

Those great round eyes blinked at her. "Ah… we shall have six bowls of rice." A moment later the flighty fowl had retaken his seat with all outward appearance of calm. "Stand down, men. The threat is past."

His followers removed wings from their sword hilts and settled back. In the meantime the hostess had beat a hasty retreat. "It was a close thing, Sir Tuk Luk," one of them offered.

"Yes, your swift reaction no doubt prevented us from being taken advantage of," another nodded sagaciously.

"Remain on guard, men," Officer Tuk Luk declared as his suspicious eyes scanned the busy hostelry. "As agents of the imperial exchequer, we can allow no lawless rogues to take advantage of us in the performance of our duties. We must set a good example so the people have no reason to doubt the will of heaven!"

They all bobbed their heads in agreement, red combs flapping in unison. Meanwhile the other customers had gone back to their meals. Chatter resumed. The evening was cool, the inn was warm, and soon enough their little fracas was a thing of the past.

"Uh, 'scuse me?"

Tuk Luk once more leapt from his seat with blade in hand. "WHO GOES THERE?!"

An alligator wearing a bulky robe of rough-spun peasant wool snorted at finding itself held at knifepoint but did not back away. "Uh, yeah, I just, like, wanted to bring you guys some rocks to help digest your meal?"

He held out a bowl filled with small pebbles. Tuk Luk eyed this offering mistrustfully before turning his glare upon the big reptile. "You are not our server! Our server was a pig!"

"Yeah, uh, you sorta scared her silly, so I had to take over until she calms down. That okay?" The crocodile again proffered the bowl.

The group of roosters did not try to conceal their suspicion. "How do we know they're not poisoned?!" one of them demanded.

The server's eyes narrowed. "Wow, really?" So saying he proceeded to pluck a handful of stones and popped them into his long fanged jaws, swallowing audibly. "Satisfied?"

Tuk Luk and his men relaxed. The croc waiter looked between them and sighed. "Hey, no biggie, I understand. It's tax season, you've got a job to do, can't be too careful."

He then went about distributing chopsticks to each of the diners while continuing to chat. "Y'know, cuz it's like, crocodiles need to eat rocks too just like you guys. We can't chew our food either. I heard chickens and lizards are actually related, you buy that? Weird, right?" Then he threw a glance at Tuk Luk and asked in a casual tone, "So, uh… can I ask how you'll be paying?"

The avian official cast a decidedly cool look at this cold-blooded menial, puffing out his chest feathers as he did. At the same time one wing dipped to the sash around his waist and came up with a heavy wooden seal securely knotted by a length of silk. Carved in artfully painted detail on its surface was a chrysanthemum blossom along with the title of Royal Tax Collector.

"We are agents of the crown," he stated, letting his badge of office drop down to dangle once again. "You may remit the bill to the Office of the Minister of Finance. Bear in mind, it shall be compared against a list of all establishments we have made use of during our rounds this year!"

"Oh. Okay. Cool." The bulky reptile leaned in and placed the bowl before them, his ungainly body squeezing between Tuk Luk and one of his men. "Sorry, 'scuse me, lemme just put this… right here, and…"

"Have a care, lizard!" the tax collector snapped, nettled. His wing swept down to convulsively seize hold of the silken band at his belt to make certain it did not disappear.

Beneath the sightline of anyone at that table, however, a pair of small scaled hands emerged from a gap in the crocodile's robe. They extended out to gently grasp the seal dangling on Tuk Luk's sash, which they then pressed with great care into a square dish of moist clay. After a few seconds this unseen figure let go of the seal and withdrew back out of sight with absolutely no one being the wiser.

Straightening up, the croc stepped back and grinned at them. "There! Okay, your food will be out soon, gentlemen. Thanks for your patronage."

He genuflected in utmost subservience while shuffling backwards. None of the roosters paid him any more mind. After a bit the servant rose up and shambled towards the rear of the inn. He passed the pig waitress from before, who threw him a questioning look before heading by with the orders of rice. Eventually the croc made his way to a shadowy corner near a window where he leaned against the wall.

"We cool?" he whispered.

From beneath his robe the dwarf crocodile Wong emerged. He held up the dish of clay in which was now impressed a perfect duplicate of the royal seal.

"Awesome!" The superior saurian snatched up his prize. "My brilliant plan is coming together!" He then knocked on the wall casually, and upon hearing an answering knock, held up the dish near the window. Another scaly claw reached in and accepted this item before withdrawing. Now, to make his escape before anything could go wrong.

"Hey, Fung?"

The leader of the croc bandits froze. One eye rotated up to fasten on another member of his gang peering through the open window.

"Darn it, Gahri!" he hissed. "Get back to base! We don't have time for–"

"I just thought you'd want to know that the Dragon Warrior's here."

Fung blinked. "Say what now?"

* * *

"I smell noodles," Po took a deep breath, his belly already starting to rumble. "Sichuan… extra spicy, maybe a little heavy on the dried wood fungus." His eyes opened and he pointed eagerly down the street. "This way!"

"Woah, there!" A clawed foot caught him by the trousers before he could bolt off. Looking back, the portly panda found himself being restrained by his ally Master Crane, who was giving him an exasperated look under the brim of his straw hat.

"Po, we ate along the way." This gentle admonishment came from lower to the ground, where Master Viper now sidled up to her comrades. The slender green serpent indicated around this small hamlet nestled on a bend of the river where they found themselves. "Our first priority is to find the tax caravan. You can get something to eat afterwards."

The Dragon Warrior moaned like a chastised child. "But we've been walking all day!" he complained bitterly. "Seriously, it feels like my stomach is trying to eat its way out of me in search of some food!"

"Escort duty is important too, Po. Come on now, let's go." Viper nudged his leg with her head before slithering down the street. Crestfallen, the big fighter followed in her wake, taking note of the stalls selling fish and other trade goods along the waterfront.

"Just be careful around these guys, okay?" Crane admonished them as he caught up on his long stilt legs. "Royal tax collectors are jittery as a rule, what with all that money making them a prime target for bandits. And apparently these ones are roosters. " He shook his head in exasperation. "I've known a few. Believe me, you will never meet a more self-important species. They think the sun needs their permission to rise."

"They should be waiting for us at the docks. It's not far." Viper led the way, and her allies took up pace behind. The sun was far below the horizon, making the cold-blooded martial artist feel sluggish. She had long trained to combat this natural tendency. All the same, a selfish side of her hoped these imperial envoys would choose to bed down for the night rather than continue on their way. She would prefer to be rested and refreshed after this long day's travel. They could guide the tax collectors on their rounds through the Valley of Peace tomorrow before passing them off to the next stage of their journey. And truth be told, her own stomach was making its complaints known, though nowhere near as loud as Po's gargantuan rumblings. Viper caught herself eyeing a rat scuttling along the roadside and had to fight the impulse to go after it. Another hereditary trait.

At last they came upon the waterfront. A few boats were tied up at the shoreline with sails furled as sailors loaded and unloaded merchandise. Lamps were being lit all down the street. Colorful streamers hung from posts everywhere that danced in the breeze coming off the river. The trio of fighters paused to look around. It was Po, the tallest among them, who gave a shout and gestured excitedly down the way. "Hey! I see them! And I think there's a restaurant right over there too! Sweet!"

Viper looked where indicated, trying to see through the press of legs and feet that obstructed her vision. Mostly she had nothing to complain about in terms of her body. But there were times that even a proud member of the snake family had to admit that being just a little taller wouldn't be considered a betrayal of the species.

Then a glimpse of feathers came clear. Fifty feet away from them a small group of armed roosters crouched around a wagon laden with chests and precious goods. Even through the press Viper had no trouble picking up on how uneasy these avian guards seemed. They jumped whenever anyone got too close, and one of them nearly drew a sword before being restrained by another of his fellows. Crane was right. It was best to approach such agitated souls with caution.

"Gangway, official business coming through!"

The earth shook, and then Po was shouldering his way through the crowd on a beeline straight for the rooster guards. "Po, stop!" she called out, but the hubbub surrounding this busy port drowned out her voice. Viper took off in pursuit. Hooves and paws bore down on her from all sides, their owners not noticing the slinky reptile dodging about at their feet. Hindered by this gauntlet of limbs, she could have hissed in frustration. She saw Crane hopping along to one side, unwilling to take flight for fear of startling their targets. That was a smart move. Already Viper had a good idea what would happen next if they didn't stop Po.

A few seconds later, her worst fears were realized. "HEY!" their exuberant colleague shouted over the tumult of commerce. "Hey, tax guys, we're here! It's the Jade Palace people, right here!"

Horrified, Viper picked out the roosters turn. She knew what they must be seeing: a huge enemy bearing down on them yelling wildly. Sure enough, one of the younger cocks' eyes went wide, beak dropping open as he screamed…

"RACCOON!"

Eh?

"Raccoon!" The other guards drew their swords in response. "Giant raccoon! Thief! Burglar! Bandit! HELP!"

By this time Po had slowed to a halt. The sight of sharpened steel being leveled at him had very few interpretations, after all, none of them good. "Raccoon? Hey, I'm not a raccoon, I'm a…"

"CHARGE!"

The roosters flew forward, people in the crowd screamed, and with a silent curse Viper leapt into the fray.

* * *

Dragon Warrior? _HERE!?_ Why?

Fung snapped out of his shock to find Wong tugging on his robe. The little lizard then indicated towards the front door. Looking down, the bandit leader nodded. Both crocs then began to creep along the wall towards their exit.

Just gotta get out. Got what we came for. Now it's time to split! We'll beat feet before Po even knows we're here!

He was almost to the door, when from outside the inn a loud voice crowed, "HELP!"

"TO ARMS!"

With a clatter of chairs and bowls flying, Tuk Luk and his party were on their feet. They began shouting and brandishing their weapons, heads jerking around in search of a target. Finally the head tax collector got their attention long enough to point with his sword and shout, "Outside! Our comrades need us!"

And with that the roosters raced towards the exit.

"Darn it!" Fung cursed and sped ahead of them.

Outside all was in chaos. There were people running and screaming everywhere. Momentarily at a loss, Fung threw off his robe and looked wildly around before darting towards the harbor. The river! Just get to the river before anybody spots you! He could see Wong already making a beeline towards the water, and Fung followed in hot pursuit moments before the roosters came stampeding out of the inn. People knocked into him on all sides. The crooked carnivore lowered his shoulder and plowed on through, relying on his heavier body to make it past antelopes, sheep and pigs who were trying to flee the scene.

So intent was he on escaping what came behind him that he failed to notice the press thinning. Suddenly there were no more people around. Caught off guard by the lack of resistance, he stumbled over his own feet and fell forward with a cry to land flat on his stomach.

Groaning, Fung looked up. Before him roosters in all different colors flapped and dove through the air swinging spears and swords. They chased after anything that moved no matter their stripe, be it sailor, townsfolk or merchant. Yet no matter where they went, three different but distinct shapes moved to intercept them, allowing their terrified targets to escape. One was a great black and white panda who despite his bulk moved with unnerving agility to ward off any blows and send the frantic fowl sailing away. The second proved to be another feathered form who took to the air with unmatched skill and determination as he knocked down any arrows or flapping guards, making his avian opponents seem like pigs with wings by comparison. The last registered to Fung's eyes mainly as a green flash that disappeared if he tried to focus on it, leaving roosters reeling to the ground in its wake.

The area around this battle had largely been cleared of civilians, allowing the combatants to concentrate more on one another. It occurred to Fung that he might want to stay low in order to avoid being noticed by either side. So resolved, he started to scuttle towards the promise of safety. Ahead of him was the harbor's edge. Almost there! If he could just make it into the water he'd be home free!

Unaware of the retreating criminal, Po leapt atop the cart which the roosters had been guarding as he fended off three armed attackers. In doing so, he dislodged several chests which fell to the ground. One of them split open, and coins went spilling across the flagstones. Instinctively Fung turned at the sound of free money, to spy Wong trotting determinedly along not ten feet behind him. To his dismay, the dwarf croc looked at the spilled wealth shining at his feet, calmly bent down and proceeded to scoop up handfuls of coins and cradle them against his chest.

A rooster fighting Po atop the cart turned upon hearing metal pinging on stone, spied the tiny croc busily collecting his haul, and sprang towards him with blade raised. "HALT, THIEF!"

Fury awoke in Fung's heart. All thought of escape vanished. Close at hand he noticed a discarded boat hook used to guide crafts into the docks. Snatching it up he leapt forward and thrust the wooden pole forward, managing to deflect the blade on its haft and prevent his ally from being skewered. "Get away from him!" he cried.

Wong finally noticed the fate he had narrowly avoided and dropped his haul before tearing off fast as his little legs could carry him. Moments later he had disappeared into the river with a splash. The rooster turned to face Fung, who realized his opponent was none other than Tuk Luk. There was no similar recognition as the enraged officer merely swung again and again, all the while uttering shouts of, "BRIGAND! REBEL! ROBBER!"

He slashed and stabbed with the speed of a hungry bird snapping up seed. Frantically Fung gave ground before him as he attempted to parry the maddened but no less skillful soldier with his boat hook. The peril of the situation seemed to hit all at once, and fear actually served to bolster his reaction time, allowing him to jerkily ward off the deadly saber on his improvised weapon. But at the same time he knew his luck would not last. Darn it, where was the Dragon Warrior when you really needed him?!

True to form, even as he thought this his heel came down on some loose coins. Before Fung knew it his feet had slid out from under him and he landed on his back with an, "Oomph!"

"DIE, REBEL SCUM!"

Peering up at the sky trying to catch his breath, Fung gave another, "Oomph!" as something landed on his chest. Tuk Luk placed one clawed foot on his throat to hold him down and raised his sword over the struggling crocodile.

Fung's life flashed before his eyes, and the blade fell.

* * *

A vicious spear thrust aimed at Master Viper only managed to stab a now empty stretch of road. By that point she had already slithered up the wooden shaft quick as a flash and struck the rooster right below the beak. He collapsed without a sound, and the limber martial artist landed by his body to quickly survey the situation.

Po and Crane were holding their own against the remaining royal guardsmen, who numbered no more than six by this point. The rest were stretched out groaning on the street. Together they had managed to subdue the panicky poultry before anyone could get hurt. If they could just stop the fighting long enough to try and get a word in edgewise, it might be enough to halt this senseless battle. With that Viper sped forth towards the heart of the fight.

"DIE, REBEL SCUM!"

Only then did she spy another rooster off from the rest. He had pinned a helpless crocodile down and was just preparing to deliver a killing blow. Viper saw all she needed to and reached a decision. They were too far away even for someone of her speed to reach them. Po and Crane were occupied with their own opponents.

But the wily serpent had already found a solution. Long red streamers flew all around the waterfront. Some lay limp having been cut down in the battle. Viper selected one of appropriate length. Snatching its lagging end with her tail, she snapped this festive flail forward like a whip. The bright band of crimson flew fast as fire to wrap swiftly around the rooster's wing. Even as he swung she sprang into the air and gave a yank that caused the black bird to go spinning off balance, his weapon flying from feathered fingertips.

At the same time Viper sped on the attack. She used her leap to close half the remaining distance between them, then bunched her coiled body beneath her and launched forward like a spring. Her skull plowed into the rooster's stomach, and even as the breath left his body she had already twisted in midair to deliver a pinpoint strike with her tail right on his chin. The glossy black buzzard went windmilling away out over the river, emitting a choked "BU-CAW!" before receiving a well-deserved dunking.

Satisfied, Viper landed on the poor crocodile's chest. She reared up to rise above the tip of his long snout. "Are you okay, sir?" she asked with concern.

"Humminah humminah humminah!" was all the yellow-eyed reptile could manage, staring at her while his toothy jaws worked up and down.

"Stay down, we'll protect you." So saying, the deadly dancer slithered off him and returned to the fray.

Fung turned his head to gaze after her departing form. Unnoticed by him, two more crocodiles had emerged from the riverbank and now swiftly pulled their fallen leader into the stream before anyone could spot them.

"Fung? Are ya hurt, Fung?"

The cool water served to rouse him, and he found himself flanked by Irwin and Wall-Eye, two other members of his gang. After a second of treading water Fung declared, "Let's go." With that the three crocs slunk away from the battle under cover of dusk.

* * *

"We are not BANDITS! I'm Po, the Dragon Warrior! We're your escorts from the Jade Palace!"

"Ah… well met, Dragon Warrior. I am Tuk Luk of the Department of Finance and these are my comrades."

A dripping wet Tuk Luk bobbed his red comb politely. Around him the rest of his company put up their weapons and followed suit, clasping fist to palm in a traditional gesture of respect. The fighting had died down when most of the roosters noticed their leader flapping about in the river and gone to his aid. Now thoroughly bedraggled, their fine robes sodden with water and looking like they had been caught in a particularly nasty rainstorm, the imperial tax collectors stood arrayed before a much dryer but far more aggravated Po.

"We have rented rooms in the inn for the evening," the head rooster announced. "Please join us. Tomorrow we will continue through the Valley of Peace. It should take no more than two days to reach our next rendezvous, after which your duty will be complete. We appreciate you seeing to our safety in the performance of our rounds, warriors of the Jade Palace." He then swept by them with an impressive air of dignity, his troops following along and extending their own sincere thanks as they proceeded back into the inn.

Po stood dumbfounded. After that completely unprovoked and potentially disastrous confrontation, they were acting like it had never happened! He scratched his hairy belly in deliberation and exchanged a glance with his comrades. "I warned you," Crane threw out while examining his hat for any damage, at last being satisfied and replacing it back upon his head. "Roosters."

"At least no one was hurt," Viper volunteered brightly. "Though I think we should keep an eye on these guys. They don't seem very stable." She then slithered into the bright pool of yellow light pouring out the front of the inn before turning to regard her fellow masters with a smile. "Come on, boys. At the very least we can look forward to a hot meal and a good night's sleep, right? That's something."

In response Po's stomach gave a grumble. His face lit up at the prospect of food. "Well, in that case I suppose all's forgiven. C'mon, let's head in there and make sure–"

"CUTTHROATS!"

There came a crash from within, following by screaming.

"Worst assignment ever," the Dragon Warrior muttered, and led his partners inside at a run.

* * *

"Hey, Fung… is everything all right?"

Sitting on the porch of his house, Fung left off gazing up at the stars. His second-in-command Gahri hovered at his elbow, regarding the bandit leader with a measure of concern. The two crocs looked at one another for a while. At last Fung returned his attention to the night sky. "Yeah."

"Uhhh…" Gahri rubbed his arm nervously. "I only ask because… well, we got the badge now, right? You used the imprint Wong made to bake a copy from clay. It's all set and everything, and it looks real good! Wall-Eye's painting it, he's got an eye for that detailed stuff. Pretty soon it'll be just like the real thing and nobody could tell the difference!"

"Uh-huh." Fung's eyes drifted across the heavens contemplatively.

"Sooo… shouldn't we get started on the plan?"

"What plan?"

"The plan. _Your_ plan!" Gahri fidgeted from one foot to another, not liking this distressing change of focus in his boss. Fung hadn't thrown his hat or yelled at them even once since coming back from the mission yesterday, which was highly out of character for him. "You had this idea last year, and we've been getting ready ever since! We dress up as the tax collectors and go from village to village before the real ones do. Nobody really knows us outside the Valley of Peace, and with these uniforms we got and this fake seal, who's gonna say no? So they just give us all the tax money! It was a good plan! Really, your best ever! So, I mean… shouldn't we get going while they're still in the Valley?"

Fung did not speak. After a while, though, his jaws opened, and he stood up. "Gahri, something's happened to me."

The other croc cocked his head to one side. "Are you hurt? Or sick?"

"Sick? Nah." And with that the bandit leader turned a big smile on his compatriot. "I'm in love."

"Oh."

For a time neither of them spoke. During this interlude, however, Gahri's face scrunched in on itself, twisting and contorting as thoughts passed through his brain. Then finally when he felt that things had settled down enough in terms of higher reasoning he asked, "Huh?"

"I can't explain it. I thought for sure I was gonna die back there. Then all I could see were these two great big beautiful eyes, and I thought, 'Wow, I'm dead! This must be heaven!' Only it wasn't. She was sitting on my chest. And she looked right at me! With those amazing eyes blue as the sky. And those scales! You shoulda seen them, Gahri, they were so smooth, you've never felt scales like that!"

He sighed and dropped his head. "Yeah. The point is, I'm in love. I know that now. And I have to go see her. No matter what happens."

Having said this, Fung then started walking forward. Gahri gaped at him for a few seconds before sprinting to catch up on his stubby crocodile legs. "Wait, Fung! What about the plan? What should we do?"

Fung kept walking. "Don't do anything 'til I tell you to. I have to see her before anything else. Look after the guys while I'm away. You're a good friend, Gahri. Bye."

Gahri drew to a halt and watched his captain trod purposefully away. Stepping into the stands of bamboo that fronted the house, Fung was soon lost to view.

After a few seconds another pertinent question occurred to him. "Fung! Who is she, man?"

Silence greeted him. Then faintly in the distance came the words, "Master Viper!"

A moment of hesitation followed.

"Or is it… Mistress Viper? I dunno, I'll ask."

Soon there was only the sound of the wind through the bamboo, crickets chirping, and the occasional fish splashing in the river behind the house.

More confused than ever, Gahri finally decided to just go inside and get some sleep.

 _To be continued…_


	2. Chapter 2

In the central courtyard of the Jade Palace, Po the Dragon Warrior hummed a jaunty tune whilst wielding a broom. With great gusto he plied the bristles over the cobblestones sweeping up any dust. To learn that he was actually looking forward to cleaning detail would have shocked him only a week past. But that was before… tax season.

Upon returning from their latest assignment, Master Shifu had taken one look at the three of them and decreed they be restricted only to light cleaning duties for at least four days. Which was unprecedented in the history of the Furious Five, but after what they had gone through, most welcome. Tuk Luk and his tax collecting cohorts were well on their way to another part of China, but they left behind them one very jumpy panda. Loud sounds caused him to start and drop into a fighting stance, breathing heavily. He heard the roosters' cries of "To arms!" in his sleep and woke up punching and grabbing at thin air. To say that Po was worn out ranked as the understatement of the year.

Humming contentedly, the Dragon Warrior busied himself sweeping up. He paused to take a deep breath of the early morning air, eyes closed, luxuriating in the peace and quiet that abounded here, with nobody charging off to battle imaginary brigands or stabbing your rice bowls because they thought they saw something in it move or…

"Psst! PSST!"

Huh? Po looked around. What was that?

"Psst! _Hey!_ Hey, Po, over here!"

He then noticed a hand beckoning him from between the front doors of the courtyard. Curious, Po trotted on over. When he opened it a bit and poked his head out, however, no one was there.

"Over here, c'mon!"

He looked to his right where a large tree stood. Peering at him from around it was a very familiar face. _Oh man,_ Po thought to himself. With a heavy sigh he dropped his broom and walked over until he stood behind the tree facing one of the Valley of Peace's most notorious criminals.

"Fu-u-u-ng? What are you doing here?" he asked in as polite a tone as he could.

The croc bandit took a step back and straightened upright. "Listen, guy. I need your help, okay?"

"N… no! No, Fung! NOT okay! I mean…" He looked the reptilian robber up and down as if trying to determine if this was the same person he remembered. "Did you hit your head or something? Fiddle around with a magic doohickey that caused you to forget who you are? Because you're a _bandit!_ And I'm the Dragon Warrior! I don't help you, I punch you!"

"Tch!" Fung scoffed. "Yeah, right! You can't say no. You still owe me!"

Po spluttered. "O-owe you? Since when?!"

"Since I rescued you from Jong Sung Jai Kai Chow that one time! Remember, when he had you chained to a wall in his dungeon and was gonna torture you and all that?"

"Jong Sung Chai Thai…" He thought back a bit. "Th… _that was because you tricked me into helping you kidnap his son!"_

Fung's brow crinkled. "So?"

"So the two things cancel out!"

"Nu-uh." The scaly interloper crossed his arms and raised his chin smugly. "You were helping me kidnap his son… to pay me back for fishing you out of that hole you fell into, remember? But I still came back and saved you even after I got away with the kid. So you owe me one!"

Po's eyes narrowed. "I seem to remember that once you were done saving me, you let me fall into another hole right afterwards and _didn't_ help me out. That makes any favors I might have owed null and void!"

"No, it just means I didn't help you then. That still doesn't change the fact that I did you a solid for which you are indebted to me. And I'm calling in that debt now!"

Po stared at his scaly nemesis for a few seconds while thoughts rolled around in his head. Maybe he was still a little wonky from his time spent with the tax roosters, but that line of argument actually made some kind of sense. He gave his head a shake to try and clear it. Nope, still sorta works. Heaving a weary sigh he shrugged heavily. "Alright, Fung. You win. What do you need? And nothing illegal, now! I'm onto you this time!"

"It's nothing illegal, it's totally legit!" the crocodile huffed in an offended tone.

"I'll be the judge of that. So spill, what is it?"

"I want you to introduce me to Master Viper!"

Now he felt certain one of them must be brain-sick. "Fung, seriously, what kind of swamp water have you been drinking? I don't know why you want to see Viper, but the first thing she'll do when she lays eyes on you is kick your tail. And then arrest you!"

"She doesn't know who I am, we've never met!" Fung protested.

"Of course she has, don't you remember that time when…"

Po thought back. He remembered the first occasion he and the croc bandits duked it out, when they were escorting the princess. Who had been there? Let's see now… me, obviously. But who else?

In Po's mind a little diagram got drawn. In it was an image of himself. The image waved at him, then went back to standing still. Right next to it there popped up an image of Fung. He concentrated further. There then appeared Tigress, who was also present at the time, and beside her was Mantis, and then… a blinking Viper-shaped empty space showed up.

Huh. Okay, then, what about the incident with Master Shifu's statue and the stolen ruby?

Again, himself, Fung, Tigress. And once more, no Viper to be found.

Hang on, hang on, we've fought these guys plenty! There must have been some point at which they met! What about when I went undercover in prison? Okay, there was me, and Tigress, Monkey made an appearance, Fung and his gang were there… no Viper. Alright, let's try when she _was_ around! There was the Ladies of the Shade gang who stole a precious vase, and there was me, Viper (yes!), Crane, and… a big blinking Fung-shaped space now. Great. Just great.

C'mon, Po, you can do this! Think! The time Tigress had to look after little Prince Zan, Fung was there at the end with his cousin Lidong, yeah, and Tigress, but no Viper, and not even me this time! We were all off fighting his gang! And when I got split into my yin and yang sides Fung was playing cards with Bad Me when Crane and Tigress and not Viper were prese… shoot! So then how about when Fung built those magic terra cotta warriors? Nope, big Viper hole again. Mantis made himself huge and fought Lidong… no Viper… was Fung even there? Man, where _was_ she all this time? Have all the Furious Five except her met him? Then we… wait… I've GOT IT!

"Viper has to seen you!" he hooted in triumph. "When Ke-Pa the Dragon Demon was reborn, you guys became his servants! The Furious Five were all there, and they saw you working for him!"

To his dismay Fung gave him a look that clearly implied how little he thought of Po's intelligence. "Uh, yeah! Me and everybody else in the Valley of Peace! Cuz he would've barbecued us otherwise. Duh!"

He and Po stared at each other for a while.

Finally the panda took a deep breath and let it out. "Okay. I will take you to see Master Viper. BUT… you have to promise me that this is nothing bad!"

"I promise." Fung held up a claw. "Scout's honor."

Po had his doubts as to whether or not Fung had ever been a scout… or even what a scout referred to. But if it got him out of here, all the better.

"Fine, then. Let's get going. I think she's over by the training hall today. Follow me."

* * *

Viper twirled through the air, a long yellow-green ribbon unwinding behind her. With a few practiced flicks of her tail she caused the fabric to swirl around like water being sucked into a drain. One quick pull later and it became a cloth spear lashing out straight and true to gently tickle a single leaf high atop a tree.

Elated, the kung fu master slithered along the worn flagstones with her ribbon extended behind, its movements matching her own in perfect counterpoint so that anyone looking might be fooled into believing her body had grown twenty feet in length. A few long lazy sweeps were followed by waving the silken cord in midair to mimic ripples in a fast-flowing stream.

Expertly the dancing master controlled her chosen medium. Viper reveled in the feel of the snake dance. It felt like forever since she had found the chance to perform it. Most of their days at the Jade Palace were spent training in combat or preparing for a mission. Free time was virtually nonexistent. But something good had come out of their sentry duty after all. Who would have thought it at the time? Of course poor Po was a nervous wreck afterwards, and upon returning home Crane had immediately gone to his room to lie down with a cool rag over his eyes. Not that she could blame them. Traveling with those government officials left her feeling like she wanted to shed a layer of skin. Which was what made it so necessary to partake in the joys of life.

"Hey, Viper!"

Pausing her routine, she looked over to see Po climbing the steps to reach this spot. With him there came someone she at first didn't recognize. After a moment's thought it came back to her. That was the crocodile from before! What was he doing here?

"Hello, Po," she greeted her comrade warmly, slithering over to join them. "Are you feeling better?"

After panting in a few breaths he answered. "Yeah. I think my fur finally stopped falling out. Do you see any bare patches?" He twisted his head around to check his back, lifting both arms to peer anxiously at their undersides. Viper giggled at this display, which seemed to cause Po to remember himself. He drew back upright with a cough. "Anyway, uh, Viper, I wanted to introduce you to someone."

She looked to the croc and smiled. "We've met, actually."

"YOU KNOW HIM?!"

Startled, she glanced over at the panda, who had jerked away as though struck. "Yes. I saved him from Tuk Luk back at the river." Viper then turned to their guest. "I'm glad to see you're doing well. We didn't have a chance for introductions before. What brings you to the Valley of Peace?"

The croc's mouth opened. When no words came out, his eyes grew very big, and he patted Po's arm as though in search of aid. The bear glanced between them. "Well, uh, y'see Viper, this is actually a friend of mine named…" His eyes shifted around. "Uhhh… Dirk!"

At this the crocodile rounded on him sharply. "Hey, my name's not Dirk, it's Fung, darn it! Fung!"

Viper watched them glare at one another in puzzlement. She really had no clue what was going on between these two. After a bit she decided to break the silence. "Nice to meet you, Fung. I'm Master Viper."

Fung quickly looked back at her, nodding his head vigorously. "Yeah! I know! I'm here to see you!"

"Oh." She considered. "Is this to thank me for what happened before?"

"Yes! I wanted to say thank you!"

"You're welcome."

"Ha-hah!" he chuckled nervously while twisting from one foot to another. "And… uhhh…"

Once again his long toothy maw bobbed up and down. Viper noticed his claws were clasping one another convulsively. He looked wound tight enough to snap. Po also seemed to pick up on his friend's consternation and took this moment to chime in. "Okay, well, that's really all we wanted to say, Viper. Thanks for your time! We'll just let you get back to your groove."

He then took the big lizard by the arm. As he began to turn him away though, Fung gave a start and lurched forward, dragging himself free. He stumbled over and came to a halt before Viper, who gazed up at him questioningly.

"Miss Viper," Fung blurted out, "I know we've only just met and all but… do you want to get some lunch with me?"

"Sure."

"WHAT?!"

It was Po who screamed this. Now it was his turn to stand there with jaw gone slack. Viper took note of his reaction, a smile coming to her mouth. Po was a magnificent warrior, she reflected, but he still lacked the maturity to go along with it. She certainly wasn't surprised to find someone wanted to take her out for a bite to eat. It wasn't the first time, though it had been quite a few years since the last. There was more to life than kung fu, after all. And she did have the day off. Why not spend it getting to know a new person?

"Where would you like to go?" she asked.

Fung froze at the question, his face assuming a panicked mien.

"My Dad's place!" Po interjected excitedly. He sprang between them, bouncing a little bit before settling down. "Yeah, definitely, best noodles in town, and I'll reserve a special table just for you two! So shall we meet around noon?"

Viper cocked her head teasingly. "By 'we', do you mean you too?"

"Well… yeah!" He jiggled ever so slightly, looking more nervous than Fung had been previously. "That is, I'm going along to keep an eye on things and make sure nobody gets into any trouble."

"Po, that's very sweet, but I don't need a chaperone."

"Actually, I meant for him." He indicated where Fung stood petrified only a foot away.

"Oh." Viper considered this. "All right. Then I'll meet you both at Mr. Ping's noodle shop in a few hours."

"Great! See you then!"

Viper turned and drifted off, casting a look back as she did. Fung gave her an excited little wave, which caused her to titter and bow her head before turning away. What a funny fellow. This day might have more to offer than she had originally surmised.

Once she was out of sight, Po grabbed Fung by the shoulder and spun him around to face him. "WHAT THE HECK, FUNG? _'You wanna get some lunch?'_ WHERE DID THAT COME FROM, HUH? YOU NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT ASKING VIPER OUT ON A DATE!"

"I panicked!" He certainly looked the part now, whipping his head agitatedly from side to side. "At first I just wanted to see her and introduce myself, but then she was right there, and she was dancing and it was so cool I forgot how to speak, and when I remembered my old plan, it had already changed to a new plan, so I asked her out!" His scaly face brightened, and he grabbed the panda and shook him. "I REALLY ASKED HER ON A DATE! AND SHE SAID YES! SHE SAID YES! SHE SAID YES AND… and…"

Fung's voice trailed off, eyes slowly widening in realization. "She said yes. I'm going on a date with a member of the Furious Five… in a city whose people I've regularly burgled… in a public place where anyone can see us and call me out on being a bandit!" Once again he shook the pudgy panda, only much more wildly now. "WHAT AM I GONNA DO, PO?! I ASKED VIPER ON A DATE!"

"Stop shaking me!" Po yanked himself free. The two of them stood there panting for a while. Then he lifted his head and gave an assured nod. "Just leave it to me. I'll take care of everything."

* * *

"Are you peeking? You guys better not be peeking."

"Po, are the blindfolds really necessary?"

"Yes! Don't take them off. We're almost there. Almost… careful, don't step there, somebody… somebody wasn't careful…"

"Where are we? Smells like a back alley for every greasy spoon and laundry lady in the province. I thought we were going to your Dad's place!"

"We are! Almost there and… ta-dah!"

The blindfolds came off. Fung and Viper both looked around. "This _is_ a back alley," the crocodile stated bluntly.

"Well, yeah! The finest in all of China!" Before them Po offered a grandiose flourish that guided their eyes to a table and two chairs squeezed into a little nook, the largest space available in this cramped thoroughfare. Some potted plants lent a touch of greenery to either side, but other than that it was exactly as Fung had described. Light from the narrow strip of visible sky above filtered yellow through vapor and fumes. Piles of things best left unmentioned had been hastily swept to a safe distance, and the shouts of merchants and customers echoed from the walls.

"This is the special VIP section." Po beckoned them into the nook. "Not for regular customers. Only the really upscale clients. Go on, sit down!"

Viper slithered into a seat with ease, but Fung had to suck in his stomach in order to make it around the table to his place beside her. Once they were settled Po continued his explanation. "See, everybody around here knows me, so my showing up isn't really a big deal, right? But if both Master Viper from the Furious Five and me came around, it would be like this incredible explosion of awesome – KAPLOOSH!" He threw his arms skyward to illustrate this event. "…and it might start a riot. Which is why you guys get the best seat in the house, away from prying eyes. And I will be your server! Wait right here," Po hastily backed out of the small alley, "I'll be right back with your food. Special made!" With that he hustled down the alley, into the side door of his father's noodle shop and disappeared.

The two reptiles watched him go. After a second, they looked at each other. Fung gave a nervous chuckle, to which Viper offered a smile. His own mouth broke into a grin then, and he drummed his fingers nervously on the wooden tabletop.

"So tell me, Fung," she asked politely, "what do you do?"

" _He's a craftsman!"_

A door slammed, and their heads swung to find Po bustling towards them carrying a load of utensils and foodstuffs. He settled down chopsticks and two steaming cups of green tea, followed by a platter of steamed buns. "Here you go; to start off, we have _ma yung bao_ , stuffed with the sweetest of sweet bean paste, and some fresh brewed tea to wash it down. Dig in!"

Their hefty waiter then took a step back and beamed at them, face fixed in a rigid smile. Viper eyed him curiously. Po was behaving rather oddly. Maybe he still hadn't quiet recovered from their caravan duty? Oh well. She turned again to her companion. "So you're a craftsman. What trade do you work in?"

Fung's mouth opened, but before he could take a breath Po cut in again. _"Terra cotta!_ It's a family tradition, him and his Dad, they work in pottery, icons, shrine work, ceremonial junk, that sort of thing." His eyes darted between them. "You're not eating."

Viper cast a somewhat exasperated look in his direction. Right then the door slammed once more and a shrill voice cried, "PO! What are you doing out here? It's the noon-time rush, I could use your help!" Mr. Ping then came waddling into the alley on webbed feet waving an apron. He took note of the other two present and gave a startled jump. "Oh! Master Viper, I didn't know you were dining with us today. But what are you doing out here? And…"

The little grey goose looked at Fung, and his expression darkened. "Don't I know you?"

"Lemme help you there, Dad!" Po raced forward and turned his father around, gently nudging him into the restaurant. "Can't keep the customers waiting, right? Rule #1, 'The customer is always right… except when they're wrong, which is 100% of the time!'"

"He looks very familiar…" Mr. Ping mused, a moment before the door slammed yet again, leaving Fung and Viper alone in the alley.

Undeterred, she strove to reignite the conversation. "I've seen some very impressive terra cotta at the Jade Palace. Was any of it yours?"

"Uhh… prob'ly not." Fung picked up a sweet bun and popped it into his mouth to give himself a chance to think. Unfortunately in the scant seconds it took to swallow nothing came to him. Once more silence reigned supreme.

"WHAT?!"

Door slam, take three. The next thing they knew an irate Mr. Ping was charging towards them with a half-chopped daikon in one wing and a cleaver in the other. "NOT ON MY WATCH!" he shouted, livid.

A blur of black and white flashed behind him. Two bowls of steaming soup now appeared before the confused reptiles. "It's _yue tong min_ , fish noodle soup! Very nutritious, perfect for crocs, hope you like it!" During this explanation Po had tucked his parent under one arm and was dashing back into the restaurant, having disarmed him of both cleaver and veggie. Slamming door preceded the sound of a very heated argument, though no great detail could be heard.

Viper was left blinking in perplexity, her mouth agape. For his part Fung's eyes had narrowed and a slight frown caused his mouth to dip. He reached down and picked up his bowl to take a long slurp. Beside him Viper shook her head to clear it. She coiled her tail around the handle of a spoon and proceeded to scoop up a mouthful of the steaming broth. It really was quite good, as expected of the Ping brand. Unfortunately the smell of this alleyway somewhat added to the bouquet, and not by way of improvement.

The slamming of the door, the strumming of strings, and…

"How 'bout some music? It helps the digestion. I took lessons as a kid."

Po now loomed before them clutching a Chinese mandolin. He began to play without waiting for approval. Which would have been appreciated, because every other note sounded like the instrument was crying out in pain. The cumbersome panda continued to paw at the strings with his eyes closed, growing more excited as he did, swaying his hips and turning in a circle. His audience could charitably be described as appalled. The spoon fell from Viper's nerveless tail as she flinched at this amateur performance. Meanwhile Fung had hunched in on himself like a turtle into its shell, teeth grinding together while every note caused spasmodic twitching from the base of his skull to the tip of his tail.

"Oh yeah, own that high G, now three-four time, three-four time…!" Oblivious, Po worked his musical magic, hopping in one place while grinning and muttering to himself. With a last energetic strum he dropped to his knees and swept one hand into the air. "TA-DAH!"

A deluge of dirty bathwater fell from the sky and completely drenched the portly performer.

Blinking profusely, he sat rigid with shock. Fung had seen it coming and reacted quickly, whipping off his helmet and using it to shield Viper from the splash. She now peered over the rim at their drenched server.

"STOP MAKING THAT AWFUL RACKET, PO! I'M TRYING TO WORK!"

The sodden Dragon Warrior looked up. "Sorry, Mrs. Xiang!" he called.

Fung took this opportunity and stood up. "Po, can I talk to you for a sec in private?"

He led the bedraggled panda further down the alley until they were a safe distance away and rounded on him. "Waddaya think you're doing?" the croc demanded crossly.

"I know, you're right." Po heaved a put-upon sigh, flicking droplets of water off his fur. "This was a terrible idea. It's all my fault." He looked up, his face brightening. "But at least now you have a good excuse to call it off with Viper! Right?"

Fung drew back a pace. "Say what now?"

"Fung, really, I'm trying to help you out." He laid a hand on the saurian scavenger's arm. "I mean, you must know there's no way you could ever have a thing going with Viper. I don't know how sincere you are about all this–"

"I am! Totally!" The bandit leader lifted his chin with pride. "What I'm feeling is real here, Po! This isn't some kind of scam, it's the real deal! I'm…!" He paused, eyes darting furiously around as the breath caught in his throat. But with a masterful show of force Fung burst out, "I'm in love, guy!"

Po stared at him.

Then, to the croc's surprise, his face grew sad. "Yeah. Okay. I believe you now." He set down the mandolin and took hold of both Fung's shoulders. "But that just makes it all the more important you back off now. You're a criminal, Fung. And once she figures that out, Viper's got no choice but to turn you over to the authorities. I feel for you, I really do. But just imagine how bad it would make her feel to do that. Especially if she got to like you."

Dismay crept into the bandit's face. Unable to speak, he hung his head, shoulders drooping.

Feeling uncomfortable, Po gave him an awkward pat on the back. "Well… yeah, okay. I think you get it now. Good talk." With that he led them down the alley. "You know what you gotta do."

Toying with her soup spoon, Viper looked up as the boys rejoined her. It did not escape her notice how crestfallen Fung appeared. She had a lot of questions, but right now only one that was most urgent. "Is everything alright, Fung?"

The lizard's head lifted. Sad yellow eyes trained on her sitting there. A queer snuffling noise came from his snout. But at last he straightened his spine and took a deep breath through his nostrils. "Miss Viper…"

"Yes?"

She smiled at him, blinking her shimmering blue eyes.

He stared into those lovely clear pools. They were like a mountain spring where the gods descended to bathe, untouched by mortal hands. He glanced over at Po standing beside him, who made a silent urging gesture.

Turning back to the expectant serpent, Fung said in a firm clear voice, "You wanna go bask on a hot rock?"

Viper perked up instantly. "Do I!"

"Enh?"

Po merely stood there, too startled to react. Meanwhile Viper had slithered out from under the table and took up pace beside Fung. The two of them walked down the alley together, discussing suitable sites and the best times to enjoy the midday sun.

After gaping for a few moments, the panda took off at a run. "Hey, guys! Wait for me!"

* * *

Viper and Fung had journeyed out of town to a little spot in the mountains. Here several flat rocks were positioned near a small gurgling stream where they had fallen long ago after a landslide. The summer sun was at its zenith, causing the air over those light brown stones to ripple slightly. Travelers stopped here sometimes to rest and relax. Now both Fung and Viper lay side by side on one of those smooth planes. He had taken off his helmet, stretched on his stomach to the fullest length. She reciprocated this posture a few feet away. Both reptiles looked perfectly at ease, unmoving. Their eyes were closed.

The Dragon Warrior sat alert in a small copse of bamboo not far away. From here he peered at the two of them. This sudden about face on Fung's part had made him wary again. It could be this was all part of some trap to get Viper alone. Then he and his gang would take her captive and hold her for ransom, or something like that. Had to be on guard in case of treachery. As her friend, and a fellow kung fu master! That was his mission!

He watched them alertly.

Twenty minutes passed. _Remain on alert!_

An hour went by. _Stay at your post, soldier!_

Two hours. _Oh, man, am I hungry…_

Four hours later, Po the Dragon Warrior did not believe he had ever been so bored in his entire life. He didn't dare leave this spot for fear that something might happen. Please, let something… _anything_ happen!

It didn't. Instead the same thing that had been going on for half the day continued to proceed without pause. They just lay there sunning themselves. At first he felt sure they must have fallen asleep (and who could blame them). But every now and then Fung would give this little snort. Viper would giggle ever so pleasantly, and he would chuckle in return. Then they would return to lying there. Without speaking a single word.

Po continued to stare at this excruciating display. It was like watching grass grow. He had tried to do what they were doing in order to learn if there might be some weird kind of unmoving fun to be had. However lying flat on his back had only opened up more surface area to the merciless sun, leaving him hot and scratchy in his own fur. He had eaten all the bamboo close at hand. Unfortunately at this point the crippling boredom was so strong it prevented him from even getting up to fetch more.

 _I'm going to die here,_ Po thought. _I can't leave. What if something happens? But if I stay, my heart's going to stop. I can hear it. Like it's saying to me, 'Well, if this is all we've got to look forward to, might as well be dead. Shangri-La, here we come!' And then my spirit goes flying off. Bye-bye!_

A snort, followed by a giggle, and a chuckle. Straining to lift his head from the ground, Po glared at the two reptiles still peacefully partaking in their sun bath before dropping back to earth with a thud.

Worst… mission… _ever…_

* * *

"I had a really nice time today, Fung," Viper stated happily.

"Yeah." The crocodile rubbed the back of his head and grinned. "Me too."

"Will you be staying in town for a while?"

His snout nodded eagerly. "You bet! I'll be around! So, uhhh…" He twiddled his claws together, abashed. "You wanna maybe… go out with me again?"

"That sounds lovely. I'll be off duty for three more days, so any time before then…" She ducked her head before casting a shy glance up at him. "Well, I'll let you know."

"Okay." He gave her a little wave. "See you later, Viper."

"Goodbye, Fung." She twisted around and slithered off. "Come on, Po."

"U-u-u-u-u-u-h." This was the most the listless and bewildered panda could offer as he swung about to lumber at her side. The two fighters from the Jade Palace turned their steps back towards town.

Fung watched them go 'til they were out of sight, after which he set off on the path home. There was lots to do if he really wanted to set a good example next time. Lots to do! He skipped and chuckled to himself, remembering everything that happened today. Maybe for once the universe had decided to throw him a bone! Whatever the reason, he had to try his best to make sure he proved up to the challenge. He felt lighter than he had in years, and the whole world around him looked fresh and new. Like it had all shed its skin to let him see a better view underneath. Thanks, world! You're the best!

* * *

Po trudged wearily up the steps to the training hall. Some heavy-duty exercise sounded pretty good right now. After that disaster of a day, he was feeling even more out of whack than before. Even his stomach hadn't settled down, groaning and protesting its treatment. Or maybe it was all the raw bamboo? Gotta lay off the stuff for a while.

"Heads up, Po!"

His head rose just in time to see something sailing towards him. Training took hold and he reached forth to catch it. A moment later Po found himself holding a broom.

"Nice to see you haven't lost your edge!"

At the top of the stairs, Master Monkey balanced atop his own broom, his grin exposing huge white teeth. The playful primate sprang off and went rolling across the courtyard with long tail wrapped around the handle. When the panda finally made it all the way to the top his furry comrade was busily plying the bristles around the flagstones with cheerful energy.

"Where have you been all day?" Monkey asked without pause. "I stopped by your room to see if you needed cheering up, but you weren't there. One would have thought you'd be snoozing away just like Crane."

"Hey, Monkey." The sight of his friend working reminded Po how this day had started. Once more he found himself appreciating the simple bustle of busy work, and without another thought he picked up sweeping again where he had left off. Oh, the joy of activity! "I guess you could say I was sleeping. Although in my case it got dangerously close to hibernation."

"I heard some bears do that," Monkey threw off casually.

"Not for the same reasons, I hope." The Dragon Warrior settled into a comfortable routine which allowed his mind to work. It dawned on him that things still could take a turn for the worse. If Fung and Viper did go out again, who could say where it would lead? He didn't like to think where this whole crazy escapade might end. At the very least it could involve a stern lecture from Master Shifu. At the worst, Viper might wind up getting hurt. No way was he about to let that happen. Better come up with a surefire strategy to make sure nothing could go wrong!

While he was ruminating, something occurred to Po. He swung around. "Hey, Monkey, why are you cleaning up, anyway? We've got palace staff for this sort of thing usually."

The agile simian leaped and twirled, swinging the broom like a bo staff. "Oh, you see, when I couldn't find you, I decided to pay a visit to Crane instead! He was sleeping so peacefully. I had to be very careful not to wake him." He came down and hopped from one foot to another with the broom held overhead and grinning from ear to ear. "That's what the ants were for!"

"Ants? What a–" The answer came to him all of a sudden. "Oh… I get it."

"No, but you would have if you had been asleep like I thought!" Monkey hooted mischievously. "Too bad Crane didn't see the humor in it like you would have. And Master Shifu!" The Jade Palace's resident jokester shook his head in delight. "He didn't laugh either. Which is why I've been assigned cleaning detail for a while. Speaking of which…" He laughed before getting back to sweeping.

Po managed a weak chuckle at the thought while concentrating on his task. "Actually, I might have enjoyed a bed-bug bomb a lot more than what actually happened. I just came back from the most boring date in history!"

"Oh-ho!" Behind him Monkey slapped his feet together while balancing on his tail. "Po went on a date! Who with, who with?!"

"What? No, it wasn't me, really!"

At this the teasing trickster chuckled before returning to work. "Oh, I know, buddy. You wouldn't be doing something like that."

"Whatever." Po swept a particularly filthy flagstone, frowning as it seemed to only grow dirtier. "Actually, the one who went on a date was Viper."

Behind him, a broom clattered to the ground.

Not noticing this, the panda continued to ramble on without paying attention to anything else. "Well, if you can call _that_ a date. They didn't do anything the whole day but lie on a rock together! Can you believe it? I mean, I've seen people going out at my Dad's shop plenty of times, so I've got a pretty good idea what it involves. And believe me, this was nothing like what you would expect. Given the choice, I'd probably take those ants instead. I might have even thanked you for it afterwards. Pretty funny, eh, Monkey?"

When no answer came Po looked around. "Monkey?"

Glancing down the steps, he finally caught sight of his friend tearing along while propelling himself on his knuckles. In moments he had turned a corner and disappeared.

After a few moments Po brushed it off and turned his attention to yard work once more.

* * *

Masters Tigress, Crane and Mantis were sitting down to dinner in the snug palace kitchen when Monkey came bursting in. "Viper went on a DATE!" he screamed.

Just taking a sip of soup, Tigress spewed it out all over Crane's face, who leapt upright squawking and dancing from one foot to another. Mantis dropped his spoon so hard it tipped the bowl and sent a deluge of hot broth out that swept him to the floor. When they had all recovered, it was Crane who spoke first. "Monkey, this had better not be another _joke,_ because I swear to–!"

"It's no joke! It's _real!"_ The panicked primate looked from one face to another. "What do we do?"

By this point Tigress had recovered and risen to her feet. "Does anyone know where she is now?"

"I saw her headed to her room about twenty minutes ago," Mantis offered as he hopped back atop the table.

"How did she look?"

He shrugged his spindly shoulders. "Normal, I guess. Maybe… happier than usual?"

"Then it's not too late. We must first inform Master Shifu!" With that the four members of the Furious Five took off. They raced swiftly through the halls and out into the cool air of dusk. In moments they had reached the Sacred Hall of Warriors itself. Flinging open the red and gold doors, Tigress burst in followed by her cohorts. "Master!"

At the far end of the polished floor, a small red panda in a simple but elegant robe left off meditating before the Moon Pool and rose to face his disciples. "What has happened?" he demanded brusquely.

The four martial artists drew to a halt and knelt before him. "Master Shifu," Tigress lifted orange eyes that burned with resolve. "Master Viper is seeing someone. Romantically, we believe."

Shifu's normally narrowed eyes flew wide. He sagged against his staff for support, looking impossibly old and frail for a moment.

He regained his feet at the same time as his dignity. "You know what to do," their teacher growled in tones that held no hesitation. "Alert the staff! Tell them to send their families away and to be prepared to flee themselves at a moment's notice! They are not to speak of this matter to anyone outside the Jade Palace. We must try to maintain the appearance of calm so as not to further aggravate the situation. Only we six will remain here should worse come to worst."

"But Master," Tigress hesitated only a moment before continuing. "With Oogway gone, who can possibly stop her should it happen again?"

Shifu's face grew grim and he tightened his grip on the ancient wooden symbol bequeathed to him by his vanished mentor. "We shall deal with it as best we can. But without Oogway, I fear this may be the end for us all."

 _To be continued…_


	3. Chapter 3

A low rummaging sound caused Po's ears to perk up. Since Monkey left there had been nothing to disturb him and the swish of the broom had gradually lulled him into a pleasant doze. Now fully awake, he examined all around the courtyard in search of its source, but could see nothing. Just about to return to sweeping, something caught his eye. Upon trotting over to the outer wall he pushed open the door all the way and leaned his head out.

In the deepening pall of dusk he was surprised to see a trail of people moving down the stairs of the Jade Palace towards town. Their way was lit by red lanterns, and some of them held children or baskets loaded with what looked to be personal items. At the top of the steps a goose he recognized as Zeng was hugging his wife. When they parted the little bird stood there for a time watching her go. She turned to look back at him, and he waved goodbye, joined by several other members of the palace staff as they bid farewell to their loved ones. The sight caused a feeling of unease in Po's heart.

"Po."

The rustle of feathers alerted him to Crane's presence overhead. "Hey Crane, what's going on?" he asked. "Why's everybody leaving?"

"Come to the Hall of Warriors," his ally responded somberly. "Shifu needs to talk to you." Without another word he banked windward and let the chilly gusts carry him off towards the Jade Palace.

Unnerved by these events, Po wasted no time and took off. It was growing dark by the time he reached the foot of the 1,000 Steps. A few of the refugees were still on their way down, and though he questioned them, none could offer an explanation as to why. They knew only that their family members who served in the palace had insisted it was necessary they go below until told otherwise. Rooms had been prepared for them in town, but it was clear this generosity in no way allayed the anxiety they all felt. The mood must have been catching, for as Po came to the top of the mountain he was too unnerved to even take a chance to catch his breath and instead proceeded straight to the Hall of Warriors.

The Furious Five and Master Shifu were waiting for him at the other end of the room. Lamps had been lit, making the floor glow green, but any light they cast only seemed to deepen the shadows all around. Stomach twisting in knots and fur standing on end, he ambled over to join them.

Shifu turned at his approach. The old warrior's eyes fixed on him in a way that reminded Po uncomfortably of the first time they met, when his tiny tutor had mocked and derided him at a time when his own self-confidence was already in short supply. Yet when he spoke now Shifu's voice was gentle. "Monkey tells us that you escorted Master Viper on her… date."

The panda nodded, eyes darting from one person to another. Only now did he realize Viper was not among them.

"Did anything… unwelcome… happen during this outing?"

Po hesitated, acutely aware of just how much trouble he could potentially be in. His secret might already be spilled if they had spoken to his father. Finally he managed to admit, "Well, it was kinda uneventful from what I could see. Viper and… the guy… pretty much just laid around all day. Nothing happened. I didn't see any cause for alarm." Judging by the looks on their faces, he was in the minority of that impression. "Guys, you're freaking me out. Seriously, what's going on? And what's it got to do with Viper?"

Shifu bowed his head as though weary, then turned to gaze into the pool. The reflection of the golden dragon statue overhead returned his unflinching stare. "There are things we have never mentioned to you before, Panda. For reasons we all agreed were best left unsaid. It was our fervent hope these matters would never be brought to light again. For all our sakes." Lightly the Grand Master touched the surface of the pool with his staff.

"This all happened long before you joined us, Po."

A single ripple flashed out and caused the water around the edge to swell before contracting inwards. As this happened, Po could swear he saw images form in the clear surface. Dark outlines in the bottom of the pool joined together to become shapes. It was like a shadowy puppet play taking place right before his eyes…

* * *

"After gaining acclaim throughout China, Viper came to live here in the Jade Palace."

 **A segmented snake bowed her head before an aged but smiling tortoise and a grim little red panda. The scene switched, and now the snake battled bravely against armed foes alongside a raging female tiger, playful monkey, strutting stork, and mighty mantis. Another scene shift revealed the five fighters victorious over their opponents.**

"Her warm generous nature made her fast friends even with those not inclined to accepting kindness."

 **The snake was now presenting a hairbrush to the clearly puzzled and somewhat tangle-furred tiger. Soon after she was shown brushing the uncomfortable feline's fur. The monkey swung over them pointing and laughing. A shift of focus, and now the tiger sat firmly upon the prostrate primate's back whilst the cheerful reptile brushed his fur, to the obvious merriment of crane and mantis. Even the tortoise looked on chuckling, though the red panda only shook his head in exasperation.**

"Over the years the new Five grew to trust, care and confide in one another. All seemed well amongst us. Until one day, a traveling stranger appeared in the Valley of Peace."

 **Onto the cleared stage there now swept an impressive figure. A goat, with magnificent horns and slit horizontal pupils. Carrying a wooden box on his back, this handsome peddler was soon swarmed by bouncing ladies of all types who went away with bracelets on their wrists and carrying porcelain dishes. He entertained them with simple feats of sleight-of-hand. The tiger and the snake came by, and the goat beckoned them over to examine his wares. The striped cat ignored his entreaties. But the banded serpent lingered for a moment longer before following in her friend's wake. This was not lost upon the sharp-eyed salesman.**

"He remained in the Valley for several days, continuing to sell his goods."

 **The snake was slithering by herself when the peddler came hustling up and settled his pack down for her inspection. He displayed to her a selection of items which she browsed through but ultimately declined. The goat remained in high spirits and bid her good day. After he had gone, however, the serpent noticed with surprise that a fine scarf had been tied to the tip of her tail without her knowledge.**

"From that seemingly harmless occurrence their relationship grew, with grave consequences."

 **Goat and snake were then seen walking and talking quite happily. From out of nowhere he produced a bouquet of orchids which he presented to her. She accepted these with great joy. Next scene showed them under a beautiful full moon by a pool gazing into one another's eyes. The viper's tail entwined around his hoof and together they watched the twinkling night sky, her head resting comfortably against his arm.**

"The peddler remained in town for a month until declaring that he must continue on his way. Before leaving, he promised Viper he would return before the snow fell."

 **The couple shared a tender parting after which he hoisted his pack. She waved the scarf he had given her, and he reciprocated before moving off. The snake watched him depart sadly, head hung low. Around her the leaves began to fall.**

"As part of their duties, the Furious Five traveled throughout China battling evil. It was while on one of these trips that it happened."

 **A gang of armored oxen were being led away in chains by the Five when the snake turned with a start. Off to one side there appeared the peddler cuddling next to a giggling lady pig. The swine hid behind a fan, and he proffered to her an orchid which she took, in return presenting him with a kiss. When they broke apart and began walking again, it was to find the snake coiled before them.**

 **A strike of her tail, and the peddler crumpled to the ground. The pig ran away in a panic. Desperately the goat pleaded with the serpent as she swayed side to side in wrath. Without warning she reared up, and the cloven-hooved philanderer drew back in terror. Instead of striking him, however, she simply turned her back and slithered away to rejoin her comrades, who welcomed her.**

"Upon their return, Viper was noticeably distraught. She became sullen and withdrawn, unwilling to converse with anyone about what she might be feeling. None of us could convince her to open up. This grew worse, until one day…"

 **The serpent sat alone at a table with a bowl of soup before her. She stared gloomily into its depths. A rabbit servant came into the room and began clearing up the leftovers of a previous meal. The snake seemingly took no notice of him. As he stacked some bowls together, one slipped off the top and shattered against the floor. Before he could bend to start picking it up, however…**

 _ **hisssSTRIKE!**_

 **The rabbit fell without a sound. The serpent uncoiled and went gliding from the room.**

"Another member of the palace retinue found him moments later. He was rushed to the infirmary. The doctor could not tell what might have befallen him. His heart was slowing, and in moments it seemed certain he would be dead. Fortunately Master Oogway heard and came as quick as he could. He examined the servant and determined that he had been attacked by a dangerous spiritual energy. Using his advanced mastery of _chi,_ Oogway was able to draw out this toxic force and disperse it. The servant recovered, but he had no idea what might have happened to him."

 **Again the scene changed. Now three geese were walking along carrying clothes that needed washing. One of them began to honk loudly with laughter at something the other had said, when suddenly she dropped her basket and collapsed senseless. Her horrified friends picked her up between them and ran to the tortoise, who happened to be close by. Again he performed his resuscitation, and the stricken goose was helped away by her colleagues.**

 **The tortoise watched them go. After a moment his head turned. Briefly seen, a long tail disappeared around a corner. The ancient amphibian stood for a time, his eyes narrowed in deep thought.**

"The next day, two more such incidents took place. Both times Master Oogway managed to save them. Their experiences left the victims gravely shaken and confined to their beds for several weeks. When questioned, none of them could offer an explanation for what might have happened. But Viper had been in the vicinity for each."

 **Small knots of servants cowered in fear as a long shadow slithered by them. No one dared speak or even move until that dark shape had passed. Some huddled with their families, terrified to leave their rooms. The palace had become a place of dread.**

"I went to speak with Master Viper. Though reticent, she expressed no knowledge of any such events. It became apparent that she was telling the truth. She was allowed to roam free, and continued to perform her daily duties without fail."

 **Monkey, mantis and tiger were sparring. They sprang together to trade blows while crane and viper watched from the sidelines. The monkey snatched up a pair of nunchaku and whirled them giddily about, but the mantis knocked them both from his grasp. One went sailing towards the serpent, who dodged nimbly aside, but as she did…**

 _ **hisssSTRIKE!**_

 **The monkey clutched his chest and crumpled. His allies flew to his aid. All except the serpent, who remained where she was, coiled into a tight mound. Her three remaining colleagues turned to look at her in shock. She gazed back at them, pupils narrowed to slits.**

* * *

Shifu turned to face his five students. "Monkey received treatment from Oogway that saved his life. By then it was clear something perilous was transpiring with Viper. Her mood darkened, and one of the Five took to watching her surreptitiously at all waking hours. No one was allowed to approach her."

"What was happening?" Po demanded, unable to contain his curiosity at this dreadful tale.

His aged mentor cast him a measuring glance. "As we all know, Viper is the heir to a long and illustrious line of martial artists. Her father, Great Master Viper, was famed far and wide for his Poison Fang Technique. And it was believed his children would carry on this tradition. By now you must have heard things did not go as expected."

The panda rubbed his arm and glanced at the other members of the Five. "Well… yeah. I mean we all know, right? It's just not something I've ever felt comfortable talking about with her before, but… Viper was born without fangs. That's why she couldn't learn her Dad's techniques."

"We all assumed Master Viper had no recourse to the power of the Poison Fang," Tigress stated flatly. She then gave Po a look that made his hackles rise. "We were wrong."

Shifu paced back and forth in distress. "While it is true that Viper has no fangs, her venom still exists, only in a different form. The poison is delivered not through her bite, but insubstantially across distance and through any barriers one might erect."

Po tried to puzzle this statement out. "So what, she's like… a spitting cobra?"

"No, Po!" Shifu drew to a halt and smacked his gold-bound stick into one small hand testily. "Viper's venom is composed of pure _chi_ , far worse than any known poison ever conceived. It is an intense assault of the spirit so malignant it attacks living things through their own chakra points, coursing into the victim's heart without regard to any conceivable defense. Under normal circumstances, Viper has no access to or even awareness of this ability. It lies dormant within her as a result of her own emotional stability and pure heartsease. But if she should lose this positive focus, and instead become mired in grief, recrimination, and rancor, then the _chi_ venom becomes active. Her emotions turn chaotic and vengeful. The result is horrific. The slightest instigation, whether real or imaginary, will cause her to compulsively lash out with this vicious poison at whomever she regards as an enemy. Without immediate treatment, the subject will perish in minutes."

Po could hardly believe his ears. Viper? The sweetest, most kindhearted person he had ever met? This tale did not jibe with the person he had come to know and depend on as a close friend. "What happened next?"

"Master Oogway saved us," Tigress stated. "He meditated upon the problem and eventually came up with a solution, but one that would work only for him."

* * *

 **The tortoise sat calmly before the coiled serpent. Incense floated on the air. After a few moments, he took a deep breath and coughed loudly.**

 _ **hisssSTRIKE!**_

 **He stiffened, and the wrinkled old head sagged against its shelled chest. For a time the tortoise did not move. Before him the snake watched, tail twitching in agitation.**

 **Without warning the tortoise's chin rose and he blinked listlessly before smiling at the serpent. Her own eyes flashed.**

 _ **hisssSTRIKE!**_

 **Once more the hairless head drooped only to rise again a brief span later.** _ **hisssSTRIKE!**_ **The process repeated.** _ **hisssSTRIKE!**_ **Time and again the serpent spewed her venom, and the grand master of kung fu accepted its lethal touch only to recover moments later. At no point did he make any move against her. The two cold-blooded masters continued in this seeming stalemate, until finally the serpent lay panting and exhausted, completely drained. Only then did the tortoise rise and shuffle off. At this the other members of the Five hurried in and lifted their comrade between them, bearing her to a room where they laid her down to rest. All then stayed to watch over her.**

* * *

"Being cold-blooded like Viper, Oogway's body didn't react to the _chi_ venom quite as drastically as warm-blooded folk," Tigress continued. "Using this elementary principle, once afflicted he was able to slow his heart for a short period to the point where his bodily rhythm practically stopped, during which time the venom had no recourse to life and therefore couldn't exist inside him."

"How?" Po whispered.

"He essentially entered a state of deep hibernation, similar to the kind some frogs are capable of achieving in winter by freezing and thawing out come spring. Once the poison had vanished, as an amphibian he was able to use his own _chi_ to restart his natural flow of life. He repeated this technique until all of Viper's venom had been exhausted. When she awoke a few days afterwards she remembered nothing that had transpired. We told her she had been ill and fainted. In no time she was back to her old self. Everyone involved agreed never to bring it up again unless absolutely necessary. They all cared about Viper that much."

"Which is why it is so imperative we act to forestall such a tragedy from occurring again. For her sake, if nothing else." Shifu padded down the steps and approached his youngest student. "Now, Po, you've met the person Viper went out with. What can you tell us about him?"

"Uhhh…" No longer enthralled by the recitation, the panda suddenly realized once again how much danger he could potentially be in. His flabby body went rigid. "He's… a nice guy, from what I can tell. Not a great thinker, really, sort of a goofball. But committed! Yeah, the sort who never gives up. And most importantly," here his face cleared and he included them all in his next statement. "I really believe that he cares about Viper. I wouldn't have introduced them if I thought he would hurt her. To my understanding, the whole thing's perfectly innocent."

The tension drained from Shifu's face. "That is most welcome news. Perhaps there may not be cause for concern after all. Tell me, what is this person's name? Is it anyone we know?"

All present took notice of how the Dragon Warrior's eyes had gone very big, and his lips pressed together tightly as though striving not to speak. "Yes," he finally squeaked.

Mantis leapt atop Crane's hat to get on eye level with him. "Well, c'mon Po, spit it out. Who is the guy?"

For a few seconds they were treated to some frankly alarming facial contortions on Po's part. At last, with no avenue of escape available, a strangled admission came from his throat. "Fffffung."

"Fung?"

They all frowned and looked at one another. The only Fung they knew was…

"The _Croc Bandit?!"_ Monkey demanded incredulously.

"Well, Croc Bandit Leader, actually," Po corrected him.

"I WILL KILL YOU, PANDA!"

Shifu's staff clattered to the floor as he launched himself at the black-and-white furball. Before he could reach him the members of the Five tackled their mentor and bore him to the ground. Even with all of them holding him down, however, the tiny sage managed to drag the mass of different bodies in pursuit of his prey.

"You are dead, Po!" he swore in blackest fury, fingers lashing out to pull him and his disciples slowly across the smooth floor. "Do you see this fist? This fist, right here?" Shifu held up one trembling clenched paw while using the other to inch himself along. "This fist is going to travel down your throat, grab hold of your intestines, yank them out of your mouth, and strangle you with them! Pray to your ancestors, Po! _Pray to them now!"_

"You might want to leave," Tigress grunted with her powerful arms wrapped around the grand master's frame. "If he regains his focus enough to fight back we'd be hard pressed to hold him off."

"Okay." Po turned tail and fled without any further encouragement. He felt no shame in doing so.

* * *

"It can be tough for a reptile," Viper admitted. "We just get so drowsy once the sun goes down."

"Yeah, I hear you." Fung poured her a cup of tea. The two of them reclined together on a hill overlooking the Valley, a picnic lunch spread around them. "Me and my friends have done work for people before, and they never seem to appreciate that sometimes a guy just needs to take a little nap now and then!"

"Oh, what do your friends do for a living?"

"Well… I mean… nothing special." He used a stick to knock some fish and potatoes wrapped in clay out of the glowing embers of a fire. "Just odd jobs, contract work, that sort of thing. It never lasts, y'know?"

Viper watched him carefully as he broke open their meal. This was only their third date, but she had already come to recognize a few peculiar character traits he possessed. Fung could be very sensitive about certain things. For instance, he never wanted to go into town, claiming to still be nervous after that tussle with the tax collectors. She could appreciate that. Crowds weren't her favorite thing considering snakes had a tendency to get stepped on in such situations. However he even refused to visit the Jade Palace despite her invitation. His reason for doing so had devolved into incoherent mumbling and a swift change of the subject. Today she planned to call him on that particular hang-up.

Despite this Viper found herself enjoying the time they spent together to a thrilling degree. It had been too long since someone paid attention to her in a romantic sense and she had almost forgotten how good it felt. There was awkwardness, to be sure, but sometimes she caught him looking at her in a way that made her heart flutter. Like she wasn't just some girl, or even an acclaimed martial artist, but something even greater than that. And he could be so eloquent it surprised her. Fung could go from tripping over his own tongue to speaking with such intensity that she doubted he even knew what he was doing.

This was so much _fun_.

"Here you go." Her beau placed a ceramic dish before her with spiced fish and a steaming baked potato. "Hope you like it!" He then plopped down a few steps away with his own plate.

Viper looked at the simple but savory meal, then up at him. "Fung, I insist you escort me to the Jade Palace once we're done with dinner." Let's see him wiggle out of this one.

A roast trout paused halfway to his mouth. "I, uh," he stammered, shifting uneasily. "I'm not sure if I should. That is…" Here Fung coughed. "When I was a kid, I got into some… scrapes… with the local constables? I got beat up. A lot. So now it makes me a little… uncomfortable, y'know? To be around the law."

" _I_ uphold the law," she reminded him in teasing tones. "You don't feel uncomfortable around me, do you?"

Looking at her, his face creased into a happy smile, the previous tension easing right out of him. "No. When I'm with you, Viper, I feel proud. Like every mistake I made couldn't have been that bad. Like I finally got something right! But also a little worried, cuz I don't wanna mess it up."

"Trust me, Fung." She slid forward to twine her tail around his fingers. "No one will hurt you."

"Sounds good, let's go!"

They both turned to where Po sat a few paces off with a few purloined potatoes. He popped them into his mouth, wincing at the heat but chewing valiantly all the same. By now neither of them felt surprised at his presence. Viper merely chalked it up to the panda's natural overzealousness in virtually everything he did. Although she still planned to have a little talk with him if things went on this way.

But that could wait. For now Fung's peace of mind took priority. If having a friend along could help, then all the better. "See? Even Po agrees. Now let's not argue on an empty stomach." With that she fell to eating.

Unnoticed, Fung threw a worried look at Po over her head. The hungry panda looked up and flashed a wink. Though still ill at ease, Fung ducked his chin and started eating.

Before long the three of them stood before the gates of the Jade Palace. Po pushed them open and Viper slithered in behind him. A few moments later Fung followed, wringing his hands and looking all around as though expecting a net to fall upon him at any moment. "Y'know, I really can't stay long, I've got some jobs to take care of tomorrow, and…"

"Come on, Fung," Viper bunched her body excitedly. "Let me show you my room at least! It won't take long." She then sped off to lead the way into the living quarters of the majestic complex.

Fung trotted along behind her. He had felt naked being out in the open like that. Now that they were indoors he could breathe a little easier. All the same, his yellow eyes darted furtively around every corner. "Are you sure about this, guy?" he mouthed to Po walking along behind him.

"Trust me. It'll be okay."

"Oh, Mantis!"

They both froze. Up ahead Viper had sidled up to the insect fighter, who stood in the center of the hallway. She conversed with him in a low voice, giggling. On plain view for all to see, Fung remained petrified. Beside him Po looked unnaturally stiff. After a bit the Five fighters approached them.

"Fung, I'd like you to meet my comrade, Master Mantis."

The croc looked down at the mantis eyeing him threateningly. His mouth had gone dry. At any moment he expected to be flat on his face with no clear idea how he got there, as per the usual whenever confronted by this lightning-fast little powerhouse. Instead all he heard was, "Nice to have you with us, Fung."

Huh? Where's the pain? Usually it hit right about this time.

"You have to excuse me, Master Shifu has something he wants to discuss with me."

"Alright. See you later, then!"

The bug hopped past them and went on his way. He exchanged a brief glance with Po, but nothing more.

Viper beckoned with her tail. "This way."

The boys looked at one another. Then they did as she bid.

* * *

"Master Shifu? Sir?"

Large ears twitched and the master of the Jade Palace looked up to find an anxious Zeng standing before his desk. Shifu brought himself back to the present. He traced thin brown fingers over the old scroll unrolled before him, still not quite able to believe what it contained. A small metal token was attached to the tassel.

"You know where to go, Zeng. Give him this," he unhooked the talisman and handed it over to his seneschal, "and tell him to meet me in the Grotto of the Sky Dragon at sunrise."

The goose accepted this offering with a troubled expression. "Will he be able to get there? It's pretty high in the mountains."

"I have no doubt he will find a way. Go now, before anyone can remark on your absence."

Zeng nodded and turned to face the window. He took a running start before launching himself outside, flapping his wings fiercely as he gained loft. In moments he was a small striving shape silhouetted against the rosy red sky.

Shifu watched him ascend. He strove to stifle a feeling of unease that had not let go since first examining that scroll. Years before, Master Oogway had entrusted it to him with the express warning that it not be read unless Viper experienced another episode and he, Oogway, was not available to deal with her again. Naturally he had been curious about what such a situation might involve. Of course none of them would ever countenance harming Viper in any way no matter how perilous the situation might prove. Yet now here he was, about to make a deal with the devil. The only comfort he took from this was that Oogway had not steered him wrong in the past. With any luck now would prove no different.

Whatever personal cost it might involve, he would pay it willingly. All that mattered was the security of the Valley and the safety of his charges.

He told himself this. Yet as night fell, Shifu found himself unable to sleep for dread of what tomorrow might bring.

* * *

"I feel so juvenile, getting tired at this hour," Viper yawned as she led them toward the steps leading back to town. "It can lead to embarrassing situations. You wouldn't believe how many times people have tripped over me while I'm taking a nap." At the foot of the long winding staircase she turned back. "Will you be all right getting home?"

"You don't have to worry about me," Fung puffed up his chest. "I might not be a kung fu master, but I can hold my own. Remember how I fought off that chicken on the day we met?"

"I fought him off. You were on your tail, if you'll recall."

"Well, yeah, but before that, I mean! You didn't see me with my staff? I was whipping it around and he was trying to stab me but he wasn't having any luck cuz of my lightning reflexes." He whirled in a circle and came up in what might have been intended as a martial artist's pose. "Ha-chah!"

She smiled at his exuberance, then gave another yawn. "Oh, drat!" Viper hissed, nettled. "That's so rude of me! You should go before I make an even bigger fool of myself than I already have. I need to run through the training hall for a bit anyway."

"Oh, like you don't know you're totally adorable all day long." The crocodile crouched down on one knee so that he was closer to her level. "You little kung fu sweetheart."

Her eyes widened, mouth falling open slightly. Abashed, the serpent turned her face away for a moment, then in the same motion leaped up with a rustle of scales and planted a quick kiss on his cheek.

"Bye," Viper breathed before slithering off fast as a flowing stream.

Behind her Fung seemed uncertain what had just happened. He reached up to pat the spot where her lips had touched, resting his claws there. "Whoa," he finally managed.

"Hey, no spacing out on me." Po trudged up once he had made certain Viper was gone. "You really should go before anything bad happens."

"Bad?" Fung rounded on him. "Did you not see what just happened, guy? This is the greatest day of my life! Nothing could make it go wrong!"

As he spoke the croc bandit took note of how Po had suddenly tensed up, eyes darting over Fung's shoulder. Huh. Wonder what's got him so bent out of shape? He came around.

In the deepening twilight, Tigress stood behind him, orange eyes glowing.

"Come with me," she said. "Both of you."

With that she moved by before he could fully realize how scary that had been. Not quite as thoroughly intimidated, Po found his breath in time to ask, "Where are we going?"

"My room." And she padded off without looking back to ensure they followed. Anyone that fearsome could not help but be confident.

Sure enough, Fung and Po soon trailed a safe distance behind her. The big lizard was trembling, and it felt like his heart couldn't beat any harder than it already was. Some of his most memorable nightmares had involved the ferocious feline of the Furious Five, and they never ended well. However even as he felt that old familiar dread traveling down his spine, the new experience of a serpent's kiss remained fresh in his mind. And this proved more encouraging than any potential execution. Fung actually found himself walking a little straighter than usual. Buoyed by this unprecedented elation, he sought to cheer up his partner in crime. "Hey, Po, don't sweat it, okay? I mean, if she was gonna kill us, I think we'd already be dead now, right?"

"I _hate_ being in Tigress' room," the roly-poly mammal muttered. "It always feels like they're watching me!"

"Aw, you're just imagining things. It's probably not that bad!"

A few minutes later the two of them were sitting seiza in Tigress' quarters. Po had shrunk in on himself and kept his concentration firmly on the wooden floorboards as though they held something of great interest. By contrast, Fung's eyes were wide as could be as he gaped upwards, mouth half-open in a stupefied grimace.

All around the walls of the small room, there hung heads.

Gorilla. Ox. Warthog. Iguana. Falcon. Lion. Tiger. Bear.

Oh my.

Some of them had ferocious scars from long ago battles, while others boasted tattoos or bone needles through their ears and noses. No two heads were alike. What they all held in common (besides the obvious lack of bodies) was a virtually identical expression of sheer unadulterated terror. Dozens of blank vacant eyes stared over mouths opened in frozen shrieks. Those cold lifeless orbs did indeed seem to follow you wherever you looked, as though beseeching your aid.

Sitting across from them, Tigress paid her guests' discomfort no mind. She had busied herself upon entering in preparing some tea. A steaming pot of water provided by the servants rested on a low table. Besides a cot in one corner, there was very little in terms of personal touches to this room. Unless you counted the host of decapitated warriors staring silently down.

"Are… are those real p-people?" Fung finally croaked, unable to tear his eyes away.

At this Tigress lifted her head to gaze at him steadily. "Not anymore." She then returned to preparing refreshments. In no time three cups of tea were set out before them.

"Please drink," their hostess insisted with a sweep of her striped paw. "It's Zheng Shan Souchong, straight from Wuyi in Fujian Province. I picked some up after a mission there. The smoky flavor holds great appeal and its reputation is well warranted, in my opinion."

Neither of them took up this offer. After a while Fung stammered, "Wh… who are… where are their…?"

He could not bring himself to finish, but Tigress got the gist. "Criminals," she calmly provided by way of explanation. "Warriors of great power and no particular sense of decency whom I have encountered throughout my career. I keep the strongest examples as a mark of respect for their prowess."

Tigress picked up a cup and took a sip, breathing in the aroma with an appreciative rumble. Fierce eyes flicked up over the rim. "As for their bodies…" Her tongue came out to lick meaningfully at her whiskers. "A girl's got to eat."

Fung's head snapped down to offer her a terrified look. He appeared somewhat more green than usual. As for Po, he did not respond to anything that had been said or done, merely kept his attention fixed irrevocably downwards.

Satisfied, Tigress decided it was high time to begin. She settled down her tea and got right to business. "I would like to start by reassuring you that I have no plans to kill either of you at this time." Her tail dragged softly back and forth across the floor with lethal promise. "But that may change. It all depends on how you behave from this point on."

"Fung." The reptilian scoundrel jerked upon hearing his name. He stared at her, but couldn't help flicking an occasional glance at the trophies resting overhead. Tigress approved. "For reasons you are best left unaware of, we have all agreed to permit your courtship of our comrade Viper. Po has argued in your defense and we are inclined to give you the benefit of the doubt. Speak truly, now: are your intentions honorable concerning her?"

He gave a quick jerky nod. "Uh-huh. Totally. I mean–"

"Good." The beautiful huntress had another sip of tea before continuing. It really was a magnificent brew. "Because if it were to happen that you entered into this affair with nefarious intentions, whether of your own design or at the behest of someone you serve, I want you to understand that it would not end so neatly for you as it has in the past."

For all he knew that he should just keep his mouth shut and let her finish, Fung found himself asking, "Waddaya mean… 'end'?"

Tigress studied him. Then her gaze traveled upward. "Oh, look," she exclaimed with a measure of surprise. "There's an empty spot on my wall."

He turned where indicated. There was indeed a prominent gap in between a one-eyed camel and a warthog missing more than just its tusks.

"It's quite big," the cat mused to herself. "Large enough for a crocodile." Her head swept down. "Or a panda."

Po flinched in his seat but did not make a sound. He wore a decidedly miserable expression. Fung took note and decided to make one thing clear. "Listen, I'm not…"

In a flash Tigress' claws were out and hovering right before his eyes. The croc blinked as this sight slowly dawned on him. While he watched, those lethal pads lowered to take a hold on his upper jaw.

"Don't speak," she advised him. "Just listen." The wicked points began to drag slowly down his rough scales, catching and tugging on them with gentle restraint. "Viper is my friend. I value her as someone who treats me with kindness, courtesy, and above all, compassion. These are rare qualities, particularly for a martial artist. We lead hard lives. It is therefore easy to become hardened in turn as a matter of basic survival. So I admire her good spirits and would do a great deal to prevent her from losing such tenderness. She deserves to be happy."

A noise like buttons being pulled on a coat continued until her iron grip came to rest upon his nose.

"Take this opportunity to reevaluate your future, Fung. You have been awarded a chance to start anew. Should you not see that, then the new life you have been blessed with will prove immensely shorter than your old one. Viper remains unaware of your past. Keep it so for as long as you are able. The same goes for you, Po. Your mission is to make sure Viper comes to no harm. And one more thing…"

She withdrew her paw and settled back.

"Don't let my excellent tea go to waste."

Tigress retrieved her own cup and took a drink by way of example. Both her guests accepted this recommendation. Soon thereafter all three were sitting peacefully sipping black tea right under the noses of several stuffed heads.

* * *

"Take care."

Tigress shut the door of her boudoir in their faces. Feeling rather disoriented, panda and crocodile stood there without moving. After a few seconds they turned and marched down the corridor.

Holding his helmet in both hands, Fung nervously rolled his shoulders. At last he said, "Hey, Po… what's the word for being terrified and turned on at the same time?"

"Tigress," the Dragon Warrior stated flatly.

He thought about this for a while, then nodded. "Yeah. Sounds about right."

" _Worst_ mission ever _,"_ Po grunted before continuing on his way.

* * *

"Viper is still working out in the Field of Fiery Death," Monkey supplied as he closed the door of Crane's room behind him. "Mantis is there too, keeping an eye on her."

"So you had a talk with him?" Crane questioned as he carefully practiced his calligraphy, the steady light of a candle illuminating the page before him.

"Yes." In a corner of the room, Tigress sat with arms folded and back propped against the paper screen.

He nodded his long beak in thought, still concentrating on moving the brush in a smooth arc. "And he knows what will happen to him if he does anything bad to her?"

"I left no room for interpretation."

"I hear crocodile tastes just like chicken!"

Crane threw a sharp glance at Monkey. The fuzzy comedian grinned and balanced back on his tail to rock forward and backward. "Just a bit of gallows humor," he chittered in high spirits, then dropped down and gave a prolonged stretch of his long powerful arms. "Well, think I'll hit the hay. G'night, all."

"I'll retire as well." Tigress stood to follow Monkey as he went outside and loped down the hall.

"Hey, Tigress?"

She paused and looked back to where Crane still stood. "Yes?"

The avian artist chose his next words with care. "Whatever became of that peddler who broke Viper's heart?"

Silently she watched him with one paw on the doorframe. Despite knowing his old comrade would never truly hurt him, Crane could not help but feel a lump of fear in his throat. His leg wobbled a bit to leave a trail of ink splotches across the page.

At last Tigress said, "To my knowledge he was never seen again."

And she licked her chops, whiskers twitching.

"Good night."

She closed the door without waiting for a response. For his part Crane noticed the mess he had made and gave a disappointed groan. At this point he decided to call it quits and settled down for a well-earned rest.

* * *

"Hey, Fung?"

He looked up from his project, claws wet with clay. "Darn it, Gahri! Can't you see I'm working here?"

"Sorry. It's just…" The gang's #2 looked towards the others huddled at the other end of the basement which they worked out of. They flashed him thumbs up to show their support. Gahri sighed and got back to business. "Well, some of the guys were thinking… don't you feel it's time we started on Operation Tax Refund?"

"No." So saying, Fung turned his attention back to the mound of red clay before him. He spun the potter's wheel round and round, examining it from every angle. "It's gotta be perfect," he muttered before bending back to his labors.

Distressed, Gahri glanced around helplessly but found no one coming to his aid. The outspoken croc drew on his reserves and pressed on. "If we don't hurry we'll never get ahead of the tax collectors. The season's winding down! And we need you! Fung, I know you don't want to hear this, but if you're not on board with it, then you might want to consider just… I mean, maybe you should let us–"

The spinning clay suddenly sagged off to one side before collapsing off its pedestal with a heavy splat.

"Darn it, Gahri!" The bandit leader leapt up and flung his hat to the floor. "Now look what you made me do! I gotta start all over again! Plus I need to go dig up some more red clay, and it's not even light out! I mean, seriously, I gotta do everything myself?" Without waiting for a response he grabbed a torch and stomped over to the door, flung it open and went storming outside, grumbling all the while.

His right-hand man watched him go without trying to hide his dismay. After some hesitation and whispered discussion, Wall-Eye got pushed forward to the front of the group. "Hey, Gahri. Are we gonna start work anytime soon?"

Gahri came about and studied the remaining members of the gang. For a few seconds he looked completely lost. Then he screwed up his courage and squared his jaw. "You know what? Yeah! You guys want to get started on the plan? That's exactly what we'll do! We're gonna get out there and make this thing work! Maybe then Fung will see that we're not washed up as bandits and get his priorities straight!"

So saying, he marched on over to where a line of uniforms hung from pegs on the walls. Gahri snatched one down and tossed it to Wall-Eye, then proceeded to do the same for the others. Once they all had a set he opened up a drawer in a table and produced a clay seal painted to a very fine sheen.

"Alright, future legends of thievery," Gahri spun about and lifted the duplicate badge on high. "Let's go make history!"

 _To be continued…_


	4. Chapter 4

At the first village they entered, Gahri immediately felt like everyone was watching them. It reminded him of his days back in primary school when the students sometimes put on plays and he had to get up there in front of everybody's parents and families. No matter how he worked to memorize his lines, they always flew right out of his head once he marched onstage. This was just as nerve-wracking.

His legs were shaking, and he had to force himself to keep walking down the dirt lane that led deeper into town. Behind him the rest of the crocodile gang were bunched together in their purchased uniforms, darting nervous glances around at the villagers. Can't let the guys see I'm rattled. If I crack, they will too! Sheesh, was Fung always under this sort of pressure? Certainly explains his bad attitude.

Curious people stopped in their tracks to watch this unusual procession. At last they stood at the center of the small hamlet. Surrounded. With no choice but to fight their way out if this didn't work. Gahri stepped forward, holding tight to the fake seal at his belt. Remember to project your voice, just like old Mrs. Bai used to tell us before rehearsal.

"Attention, citizens!"

He now had everyone's attention, all right. Including some rough-looking mercenaries lounging outside a restaurant. Water buffalo, they were heavily armed and mean as they come. The crocs' spears and axes appeared paltry by comparison to those razor-sharp war implements. Focus, Gahri! Focus! He then held aloft the painted seal for all to see.

"Do not be alarmed! The time has come for annual tax collection! We are the imperial tax collectors, here to collect taxes! Will the village headman please present himself for our inspection?"

All was quiet. Behind him he could hear rattling and whispering from the other crocs. Did I forget something? Get their attention… explain why we're here and who we are… ask for the guy in charge. Check, check, and check!

"Excuse me?"

Gahri gave a yelp and leapt back, snatching at the handle of his sword in desperation. Before him there stood a plump old goat with a long beard and thick lips. He was chewing on a pipe stem while peering at the reptilian actor through thick spectacles. To either side of him loomed two hefty hogs with grim expressions. Where did they come from? Must've spaced out. Convulsively he thrust out his phony seal as though it were a shield, at the same time squawking, "Wh-who goes there?"

The elderly goat leaned forward and examined the seal in front of his nose, eyes lingering over every curve for what felt like a maddeningly long amount of time. Meanwhile Gahri found he couldn't move a single muscle. This fragile bit of clay was their only defense. He can tell it's a fake, I can see it in his eyes! We're gonna die, we're gonna die, we–

"Forgive me for startling you. I am Mayor Kui. Be welcome in our village, honorable sirs."

Huh?

The goat clicked his big yellow teeth and shuffled to one side. The pair of pigs stepped forth, revealing that they held between them a great banded box which they settled on the ground. Kui produced a key and inserted it into the lock. In the stillness there came a click followed by a loud creak.

Revealed within was a mound of coins, both shiny new and dulled with age.

The mayor came back around, now holding a rolled paper scroll. "Forgive any discourtesy, noble sirs," he bleated crisply. "We were not expecting you for several more days. But I have prepared the necessary information all the same. Here is a record of our last seven years of taxes along with a head count for every resident." Kui then proffered the scroll with a deep bow. "Long live the Emperor."

"Th-thank you."

Gahri accepted the scroll, quivering like a leaf in the wind. Around him the watching crowds had resumed their previous routine. "Always so antsy, every year," he heard one old sheep disclaim irascibly to another before returning to their game of mahjong. The mercenary buffalo went back to eating without so much as a glance in their direction.

Stunned to still be breathing, Gahri gaped at the goat, then turned back to his fellows. They were all staring at him. Wall-Eye, Irwin, even little Wong. The world swam before his eyes so that he feared he might faint. What is this feeling? Not just relief, it's more like elation and… pride!

Is this what it feels like to win? Huh. Not bad.

* * *

Master Shifu and Crane stood together on the edge of the cliff-side crevasse known as the Grotto of the Sky Dragon. Unreachable save by a torturous mountain path or those blessed with wings, the grotto was a peaceful place presided over by a huge beautiful stone dragon carved from the surrounding rock, perfect for meditation and contemplation. Spread out from the edge of the cliff before them, a thick blanket of fog covered the whole Valley of Peace. The night sky was beginning to lighten. Dawn would soon be upon them. Neither master spoke, only watched the sluggish mists churn at their feet like the ocean waves lapping at the shore.

After a while Shifu's large ears perked up. He turned his head, and Crane followed suit. Now he too could detect a strange sound in the early morning air. It was a combination of squeaks, pops and growls, and it was steadily drawing closer. Unnerved in spite of himself, the heron took a protective step closer to his teacher. For his part the master of the Jade Palace merely waited.

Out in the gray fog sea, something crested the mist. It bobbed and struggled as though swimming through the heavy precipitation. At first this odd sight appeared to be zeroing in on their position. Then it veered off and headed farther down the path leading to the grotto. The contraption disappeared into the mists soon after. However it was not two minutes later before they both heard the sound of footsteps coming towards them.

As the heavens continued to brighten, two squat shadows emerged from the mist. They ascended the path together. The larger one offered a hand to help get over a particularly large rock, but this was met by a snort of contempt and some disagreeable language. The two argued for a time before finally settling down and continuing the climb.

At last all of them stood on the same level, separated by the bend of the grotto's crystal clear pond. It was Shifu who broke the strained silence. "Thank you for coming, Taotie."

"Hmph!" The warthog inventor squinted his piggy eyes viciously. "Lucky for you that I did, Shifu!" Beside him his teenage son Bian Zao appeared more tired than bored. He yawned loudly, head drooping as he held a long wooden box cradled to his chest.

Crane's eyes narrowed at the sight of their lumpy foe. He had been warned what to expect, but a part of him still could not quite believe that anything good could come from this. Taotie had tried to destroy the Furious Five on any number of occasions. His brand of mechanical mischief had proven fiendishly difficult to overcome in the past. Even knowing the reason, if they were turning to such a cunning opponent for aid now, would the outcome be any different?

"I read the account Master Oogway left," Shifu continued. He looked in no way perturbed to be sharing breathing space with his disgraced classmate and self-avowed nemesis. "According to this, he contacted you regarding a certain… incident in the past."

"Don't waste my time any more than you already have!" Taotie snapped. He swept out a hoof and leveled it at Master Crane. "What's he doing here? Planning to turn on me as soon as I've served my purpose, eh? Well, you won't find the great Taotie unprepared, Shifu! Behold!" One arm whipped behind his back and emerged with something resembling a series of war fans attached to the end of an umbrella. "Tremble in fear before my Whirling Vortex of Excruciating Torm–!"

"Da-a-a-d!" Bian Zao exclaimed in a miserable tone, rolling his head in exasperation. "It's too early for the hokey vengeance speeches! Can we just do this so I can go home and crawl back into bed? I haven't even had breakfast yet!"

The warty mechanist's face took on a comically aggrieved shade as he rounded on his offspring. "What were you doing in your room the whole time I was getting ready? If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, breakfast is the most important meal of the day! I didn't slave over building a hot griddle pancake flipping machine for nothing, you know!"

Father and son fell to arguing. Crane had spread his wings in readiness to go on the assault, but now both he and Shifu could only watch the family feud take place. It was getting so raucous he seriously feared them waking up the whole Valley with their bickering.

"Ahem!" the small red panda coughed as politely as he could. "I must agree with Bian Zao. Can we possibly speed this up?"

Both warthogs broke off to stare at him. Eventually they exchanged glances which might have passed for a truce, after which Taotie came back around. "Fine, then. Come and take it."

Without hesitation Shifu stepped forward. Hesitantly Crane followed at his back, alert for any sign of treachery on the perfidious pig's part. The two kung fu masters halted in front of their counterparts. Crane and Taotie scowled at one another, but Bian Zao simply held out the wooden box which Shifu accepted. He opened it to inspect the contents. As he did, his eyebrows shot up into his scalp. Wordlessly he glanced at the genius inventor in search of an explanation.

Taotie took note of his confusion and offered a haughty, "Hmph! Not sure what to do with it, or even what it is? So much for meditating all day to uncover the secrets of the universe! You can't even contemplate something so simple as this beautiful piece of craftsmanship!"

"What is it?" Crane asked before he could stop himself, reaching in and hooking a talon on the object to draw it out.

"Yeah, Dad, what is it?" the younger warthog echoed. "Looks like a kite that's been put through the Wringer, that clothes-drying doohickey you made that ate my best shorts."

His father looked between him and the two masters in exasperation. "Here." He reached out and carefully retrieved the object in question. "This is a precision instrument, not to be handled indelicately. If the situation is as grave as Oogway led me to believe, it might just be the only thing that can save the Valley."

"Taotie," Shifu asked quietly. "What did Oogway ask of you?"

The blustery outcast looked at him, then down at his invention. When he spoke next his voice had taken on a measure of reflection they had never heard before.

"Years ago, Master Oogway came to visit me in secret. Needless to say I was surprised, considering he had exiled me from the Jade Palace! But the old boy soon made it clear why. He explained what transpired with your Master Viper, and what it cost him to bring the situation to a close. Oogway worried that if it ever happened again, he might not be around to stop it. And for all that I resented him and his blind obsession with kung fu… I could tell he was worried about what might happen to the people who lived here if that did prove to be the case."

"What do you care? You've come after us plenty of times," Crane spoke accusingly.

The warthog's eyes flashed as he lifted his head to regard the tall bird. "For your information, my beef lies with Shifu and his disciples, not the residents of this valley! Maybe you haven't been paying attention, but the purpose behind my devices is to give folks who lack naturally strong physiques a chance to triumph in battle even if they can't quite master Southern Fist or Shaolin style!" His bristly chin came up proudly. "I'm as much a defender of the people as you are!"

"Please continue, Taotie," Shifu pressed before they actually started fighting. "You were saying about Viper…?"

"Yes… yes." He looked back to his invention. "Since no one among you could employ Master Oogway's method, he prevailed upon me to construct a non-fatal mechanical alternative. Mind you, this was new territory for me. I had only ever done a cursory study of _chi_ and chakra points up 'til then, and the results weren't promising."

The villainous pig's eyes turned cloudy. "But maybe… just maybe, a small part of me still hungered for Oogway's approval." He glanced up to see if anyone would deride him for this admission. When no one did, not even his son who could usually be counted on for nothing else, Taotie gave a self-conscious sniff and soldiered on. "And I was curious how something like this might be countered. So I researched. I traveled. I spoke to members of the snake clan. None of them had ever heard of a _chi_ venom like this before. Possibly for the simple reason that it didn't exist until now. But after discussing the problem with them, I managed to formulate a theory of how to deal with it."

"When did you do all this, anyway?" Bian Zao asked. "I don't remember you being gone for very long."

Taotie rounded on him. "You don't remember that time you went to live with your cousins in Wuxi? I was gone for six months!"

"Ohhh… that. They told me you were in jail for tax evasion."

"Unreported income does not need to be disclosed on…! Never mind." He glanced around skittishly as though expecting imperial enforcers to leap out at him. "Now then… I believe the _chi_ energy which Viper produces is part of her normal bodily rhythm. It builds up in her naturally in benign form until she experiences intense mental agitation, which results in an imbalance that activates the poisonous heritage. At this stage the process becomes cyclical, her negative emotions feeding on and in turn being fed by this toxic _chi_. She then releases the stored venom until her reserves have been drained, which clears her chakra points and allows for the natural cycle to resume. And that's where this comes in."

Taotie held up his creation. It resembled a long silk sleeve that had been slit down the middle. Thin bands of copper running up and down it like a ribcage gave it shape, all connected to small gears here and there. Seven small copper capsules were arranged in a line along this setup, inside each of which was a spherical lump of pure quartz. At one end there was a small leather hood atop which rested the last of the seven nodes. To either side of it there appeared to be two folded metal fans that slid open slightly under the pull of gravity. It really did look like a limp kite, Crane reflected, the type popular among the children of the valley these days.

"Behold!" Taotie thundered. "My 'Great Chariot Purity Cowl'!" He paused to wait for the inevitable praise.

"Great Chariot?" Bian Zao snorted, his shoulders shaking. "What's up with that name, Dad?"

"If you think a little it makes perfect sense! See, it has seven nodes in a line just like the constellation, and its purpose is to help carry off bad _chi_ , and… oh, never mind!"

Flustered, the mechanic bent back to explaining the device. Despite any reservations they all drew closer to listen and examine. "Energy is energy, whether created by the living body or nature. This design is intended to encase the target and prevent them from moving while the _chi_ is being extracted. These ampules," here he pointed out the quartz marbles, "are stationed along the chakra points for a snake of Viper's size. Attach this to her with the top node on her forehead and activate it."

Taotie pressed a switch near the hood. Immediately the Cowl contracted on itself to form a tube. The copper housing of each node noticeably tightened, while the two metal fans spread out. The whole thing began to vibrate, and a high-pitched humming emanated from the fan blades.

"The poison _chi_ will be converted inside the nodes and passed along to these two wings, which will then disperse it as harmless sound energy. Once Viper has been rid of her venom, you can remove it by pressing the same switch."

Fascinated, Crane dipped his beak down to get a better look, at which point Taotie jerked it away. "Don't touch!" he warned. "This isn't a toy! If you make contact with the nodes while they're active, you'll definitely get a slight shock, about as strong as the kind you get from rubbing wool and putting your hand on something metal. But if it's attached to Viper, for all we know you might actually draw her venom into your body. So have some respect when handling this!" With that he deactivated the Purity Cowl and replaced it inside the box, snapping it shut and standing back. "That's all you need to know."

"She will not be harmed in any way?" Shifu pressed.

"Not if you use it properly. On that you have my word," the hog huffed, crossing his arms and smirking. "Not that I will be anywhere close to see it and gloat either way!"

"Right." Crane inclined his head. "About that…"

In a flash his long leg sped out and caught Taotie by the throat, lifting him slightly off the ground to dangle choking and kicking.

"If this hurts Viper," he said in a calm voice, "I will fly you into the sky and drop you."

With that he let go before either Shifu or Bian Zao could draw breath to shout.

"On that you have _my_ word."

Taotie hit the ground but almost immediately scrambled upright. "You…!" Hooves clenched, the wily warthog looked ready to go for the weapon strapped to his back. Instead he visibly relaxed, and a sneer caused his tusked lips to twist. "You had better hope it works." Then, to an anxious-looking Bian Zao, "Let's go!"

"Taotie."

Father and son turned to see Shifu still holding the box.

"I am sorry. And thank you," the old sage spoke quietly.

"Hmph!" his former classmate sniffed before trotting off with Bian Zao at his side. A few moments later there was another popping and whirring of gears as a vaguely mechanical shape launched itself from the cliff with its two passengers and disappeared into the gray sea.

"I understand your concern, Crane," Shifu said as they listened to that flapping contraption grow ever more distant. "But like it or not, Taotie has given us our best hope. The question of whether we can trust him is one only time can answer."

Crane gave a roll of his eyes. "I think the real question here is whether or not it will work at all."

Shifu made no response, which left his student even more troubled. They took themselves off to the Jade Palace then without speaking.

Elsewhere in the gradually diminishing morning mist, Bian Zao looked back at the mountain already swallowed up in fog and turned to his father. "Hey, Dad?"

"What?" Taotie grumbled, never taking his eyes off what lay ahead of them as he operated the controls. "This is dangerous weather for flying, don't distract me!"

"Yeah. I mean…" The teenager hesitated, uncertain if he should continue. _Oh, what the heck._ "I just wanted to say it was pretty cool of you. To help those guys out, I mean. Even with everything that's happened between you."

He did not respond at first, so that Bian Zao thought he wouldn't. But after a few seconds the older pig said in a resolute voice, "If you should dedicate your life to something, son, never forget the reason why you're doing it. Otherwise you risk becoming a fanatic."

Bian Zao couldn't tell if his father was being intentionally ironic or not. At length he just decided to keep his eyes peeled so that they didn't run into a mountain in this fog. That would not be cool.

* * *

"Fung," Po wheezed, "my legs… are cramping… let's stop for a… rest."

"Quit… complaining!" the croc snapped. "And don't you dare… drop it! Just a few more… flights!"

Together the unlikely allies hauled a large wooden crate up the seemingly endless steps leading to the Jade Palace. They had been forced to take the long way around town at Fung's insistence. Why his gang couldn't possibly lend a hand had been mentioned by Po, to which the head bandit admitted he had completely forgotten about them. The question of where they might be was answered with, "I dunno." By then it was too late. They were both in this up to their necks, and there was no turning back.

At last, lungs heaving, muscles shaking, they crested the final step, Fung staggering forward a few paces while Po joined him on the landing. "Okay," the lethargic lizard hacked and coughed, "just set it down nice and easy. Nice and… easy." With equivalent groans the exhausted pair managed to bend their knees without buckling, and the cushioned crate soon rested securely on the ground. With that they both flopped down to join it, relief the only emotion possible.

To the panda's horror Fung hopped up in less than a minute. "Okay, final stretch! Let's get moving!"

Po wanted to protest. Or die as a form of protest. To his own dismay the Dragon Warrior found himself calling on some inner reserves of strength and fortitude that might conceivably be needed at a later date in his life to defeat some insidious evil force but would now instead be squandered hauling furniture. With that he rose to grasp the hideously heavy box once more. Together he and Fung lifted it up and hauled that weighty burden past the doors and into the central plaza.

"Wait… wait, Fung! I'm gonna… pass… out…"

"Hey, darn it, NO!"

Too late, the panda collapsed. Expecting to hear the awful sound of his dreams shattering, Fung was surprised that this did not prove to be the case. When he cast a look over one shoulder, it was to find Monkey grinning at him while holding up the other end.

"Let's set this down, eh?" the saucy simian suggested. Fung complied, and in moments his treasure was nestled safely on its bottom end. Monkey took a step back and wiped his brow. "Phew! That's not clouds and butterfly wings you've got in there, to be sure. So what is it?"

"Yes, Fung. What have you brought today?"

He whirled about to be confronted by not only Viper, but Tigress with Mantis perched on her shoulder. "It's a… surprise!" He indicated towards Viper. "For you."

"Oh, you don't say?" she hissed teasingly while slithering closer to him. "Do I have to wait for my birthday, or will you let me have a little peek?"

"Okay!" Eager to please as a puppy, Fung grasped one side of the crate and tugged until it came open. Bundles of dried grass fell out which he cleared away before reaching in to grasp hold of something. "You ready?"

"I'm on my tiptoes."

"Shah, right!" he snorted, then gave a grunt as he lifted something out and set it carefully down for all to see. "Ta-dah!"

Viper raised up a little higher, cocking her head in surprise. Before her there rested a pyramidal object capped with a wide bowl and made entirely of baked bright red clay. Some three feet tall and one foot square at the base, around its tapering height there ran a deep groove etched into which was a pattern similar to the scales of a snake. This indentation ascended all around to reach the top where it entered a small hole in the base of the bowl.

When she looked at him inquiringly, Fung leapt to explain. "You remember how you said people are always tripping over you when you're taking a nap? Well, I figured if you had something eye-catching to sleep on that wouldn't happen! See, you can slide up it around here," he traced a claw around the groove that encircled his artwork, "slip in through this hole and take a nap high up where nobody can step on you! There's a bump in the base of the bowl so when you coil around it your head will be raised and you can see over the edge. I can make more of them, and then we set them around the Palace so whenever you're feeling sleepy you can zip over to the closest one and have a snooze! Waddaya think?"

With a wild exclamation of joy, Viper tackled him, sending the shocked reptile tumbling backwards with her coiling around his neck.

"Fung!" she exclaimed happily. "This is the sweetest, most thoughtful thing I have ever seen!" Her tongue flashed out to tickle his chin in delight. "Is this what you've been working on for the past few days?"

"Aww," the croc gave a pleasant shiver and propped himself up on his elbows. "I had to keep myself occupied since you're back on the job now. Otherwise I'd just be sitting around thinking about how I wish you were with me instead."

Viper waved into his field of vision for just a moment before darting in and wrapping her whole body around his neck in a fierce hug. For a moment everyone watching took note of how his eyes bugged out briefly at this impassioned squeeze play. Then he reached up and patted her smooth scales with utmost gentleness. The serpentine warrior relaxed, hissing contentedly, and he emitted a soft chuckle.

Unbeknownst to either of them, Tigress glanced at Monkey with one eyebrow raised. He responded with a helpless shrug. Mantis appeared on guard, while Po remained passed out a few feet off.

"See, I carved a little ball of wood so it had the pattern of your scales on it," Fung was explaining. "Then I drilled a hole through it, and pushed in a wire loop attached to a handle that I normally use for clay carving. That way it could roll around, and I used it to make that snakeskin pattern in the groove. I had to do some experiments to see just how deep I needed to make the pattern so it didn't get lost during the firing. But it really worked out great, don't you think?"

His serpentine sweetheart nuzzled against one cheek. "That settles it. You are definitely coming with me to the festival this week."

"Ah, well, about that…"

They fell to arguing happily about their future plans. Meanwhile Viper's companions had drawn off a few paces to confer together. "Have you heard any word about the gang?" Tigress murmured.

"Not a peep," Monkey breathed while keeping an eye on their scaly partner. "I went by Fung's place to scout around, but they weren't anywhere to be seen. His Mom didn't know where they were either. Nice lady! I caught some fish for her from the river, and she gave me dumplings." He clapped his feet together and grinned. "Yum-yum!"

"Everything seems to be going well for them." Peering around the curve of Tigress' fur, Mantis regarded the happy couple with a somewhat disconsolate air. He heaved a sigh and shook his head. "Y'know, I get how dangerous this is. But darn it all, those two go well together! Can't we be a little happy for Viper? Not like the rest of us are that successful when it comes to love."

"Your idea of romantic good fortune is getting your head chewed off," his feline perch declared.

"It's the mantis way," he shrugged resignedly. "So… shall we make sure Po's still breathing?"

"I suppose."

* * *

Fung's plan had been a good plan. A very good plan. But in hindsight, there was one factor they had not taken into consideration when they first decided to dress up as tax collectors.

And that would be the bandits.

After their third village, when they were riding high and feeling good about themselves for what felt like the first time ever, Gahri and company were set upon by a gang of raccoons. Attempting to explain that they were fellow thieves engaged in an ingenious and daring act of subterfuge didn't seem to make a bit of difference to their brethren. They lost half their take on that one. Then came the flying squirrels dive-bombing them, followed by the wolf bandits in the middle of the night. And the hits just kept on coming.

Now battered, disoriented, jumpy, and completely robbed of every last honest red cent they had managed to fleece from the previous six towns, Gahri led his cohorts limping into a pleasant little settlement. He had no idea where they were, having spent so much time running the past few days it could very well be a town they had already visited.

But that didn't matter at this stage. He was ragged and sore, just about ready to admit defeat. Only one thing kept him going, the only thing this lousy clay badge in his pocket was still good for. And that was getting a free meal at the first restaurant they came across. They might have to go home empty-handed, but they would not do so with empty bellies! Not if he had anything to say about it!

The smell of food drew him along until they reached a small café. Throwing open the doors, Gahri marched in with little consideration for their surroundings. The place was not even half full despite it being late in the afternoon, and he chose the nearest unoccupied table to plop down. His fellow worn-out reptiles followed suit. There came a great deal of anxious clamor from the back of the room at their entrance, but none of it roused his interest.

"Can we get some food over here?" the bandit lieutenant bellowed.

Moments later a young sheep waitress came bustling up. She looked over their ragged clothes and dinged-up weapons with a certain degree of wariness. "What can I get for you, gentlemen?"

"The specialty of the house, all around. And some fresh tea. And don't forget the rocks!"

He recognized that he was being rude, but by now Gahri was feeling sufficiently unappreciated by life that the only thing which could make it any better was to spread the misery around. Settling his elbows on the table, he rubbed his temples to suppress the stress headache which had cost him any hope of slumber these past couple of nights. After a few seconds, however, he noticed the waitress was still just standing there.

"What?!" he snapped.

She fidgeted before taking on a resolute air and stating, "I don't mean to offend, but… we've had reports of bandits in the vicinity…"

"Yeah, no kidding," Gahri grumbled. His crew echoed this sentiment, nursing their sore spots forlornly.

"So I thought I would inquire," the waitress continued, "how you would be paying?"

Turning a cross glower on her, the frustrated crocodile was immensely pleased at the way she shrank away. He then quickly stood up, reached into his uniform and produced the clay seal. "See this?" he proclaimed in a ringing voice that carried the length of the room. "We are imperial tax collectors, charged with administering the law in this province! And you dare ask _us_ for money?! So before we collect what you and everyone in this puny hamlet owes, you are going to bring us our food! And if you don't like it, we can just close this business for obstructing an officer in performance of his duties! Do I make myself clear?!"

He had expected her to apologize and go scuttling off. Instead Gahri was mildly distressed when the young lamb just stood there giving him a very odd look. What's her deal?

In the stillness following his proclamation, the sound of a chair scraping across the floor carried quite clearly.

"Ah… would you care to repeat that, please?"

Gahri looked up. At the other end of the room, in a darkened corner, a rooster had risen from his seat. His feathers were glossy black, his costly robe the same, and he wore an expensive sword tucked into a purple and green sash. A dozen other cocks dressed in similar design stood with their leader. As he stepped forward, a wooden seal on a silk band swung at his waist. It bore a very familiar design.

Upon recognizing it, Gahri felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. _Oh no._

Wong was tugging insistently at his sleeve. The waitress bolted towards the kitchen. At the same time, Tuk Luk drew his sword and leveled it at the bewildered group of crocs.

" _CHARGE!"_ he crowed, and the furious flock swept towards them with weapons drawn.

* * *

Some kids went dashing by laughing and waving sparklers. A few feet away a string of small fireworks exploded with colorful flashes on the ground, sending adults and delighted children scrambling backwards and filling the air with smoke. A pig selling kites from a stall shouted warningly against setting his goods ablaze even as a gander purchased two colorful examples for her son and daughter.

Po settled down a crate of terra cotta figurines and stood with a groan, stretching his back to ease out any kinks. He smiled at the sight of all the preparations for tomorrow's festivities. The Valley of Peace really came alive during festivals, and he was glad to contribute to that air of contentment.

"I don't know if the hat's gonna be enough," Fung declared beside him while nervously stacking some more clay charms and bowls. Wearing a robe and sporting a straw hat whose brim shadowed his eyes, he quickly ducked down behind his stall so that he was out of sight of any pedestrians. "Could you not stand so close, Po? People are looking over this way, I can feel it! If they recognize me, I'm dead!"

"Well, maybe if you stopped acting like a fugitive on the run, you might not feel like one anymore. I mean, come on! Nobody's looking at you."

Fireworks exploded behind him, and he spun with a yelp, heart pounding. A few more kids ran past exhorting one another to hurry. Po forced himself to relax. Maybe this wasn't the best idea, having Fung open a stall to sell his homemade goods during the festival. But it was Viper's, and trying to convince her otherwise could involve delving into areas of conversation best left avoided. She had charmed the unwitting croc into agreeing to this scheme. Only after she was out of sight did that dopey grin he had been wearing metamorphose into abject shock, and Po found himself being shaken back and forth in a frenzy. Once again it fell to him to save the day. Not the worst mission ever… but close.

"So can we really leave all this here overnight?" Fung asked while examining the boxes containing his craft. "It took me three days to make. What's to keep somebody from stealing it?"

"Uh, hello?" the Dragon Warrior drawled. "Are you maybe starting to realize how normal folks feel when their stuff gets filched? Besides this isn't a den of thieves, it's my hometown! We're good people here."

"I don't like the way those hoods are eyeing my goods." The croc peered mistrustfully towards a group of children absorbed in playing with their dolls on the street corner. Then his eyes flew wide. "Oh darn… what if they recognize me?! What if they know who I am and were sent to spy on me?! _What if–?!"_

"Will you _quit it?!"_ Po hissed as he slammed the box down on the stall. "You're making me a nervous wreck! My stomach's all tied up in knots, I'm worn out from hauling pottery, and if I don't get some food in me soon, I might just shrivel up and die!"

"Sounds like I came just in time."

When he looked down it was to find a basket of hot steaming _zongzi_ being presented to him. Po heaved a grateful sigh and grabbed several of these offerings to stuff them in his mouth without even bothering to remove the bamboo leaf wrappers. The box lowered to reveal Viper smiling up at him with their lunch balanced atop her tail. "You saved my life!" her chubby comrade declared between mouthfuls.

"Sheesh, didn't your Dad teach you any manners?" Fung snapped as he came around the stall. "Ladies first, Po!"

"Go easy on him." Viper settled the box on a nearby bench and sprang atop it to get out of the villagers' footpath. She selected some fried fish balls on a skewer from their picnic lunch and lifted it out. "We have been taking advantage of his good nature these past few days. Thanks again for helping us set this up, Po." She ducked her head gracefully, blue eyes sparkling with fond humor.

"Yeah. Okay. Thanks, and all." Fung settled in beside her, but couldn't resist adding, "Although this does help explain why you're still single at your age, guy."

"Come on, that's it." Viper slithered off her seat with a sigh, causing her boyfriend to leap right up in response. _"You_ have been working too hard. Let's stroll through town and watch the festival preparations together."

"But… my stuff! What if somebody steals it?"

"That won't happen. Po will keep an eye on things." She took a bite of her treat and swished along still chewing. "Right, Po? We'll leave the lunch basket for you."

Her panda guardian hesitated, torn between his stomach and a need to keep things safe. Movement atop a nearby building caught his eye. Briefly Monkey's head came over the roof and he gave a thumbs-up. Po got the message. "That sounds good," and he flopped down on the bench with a sigh of relief, already hugging the mouthwatering goody bag to his chest. "Take your time. Plenty to see."

"Bye, then!" The look Viper gave him held a large measure of gratitude as they sidled off. It dawned on Po that he might have just helped without even knowing it. Letting them spend some time in each other's company without an obvious tagalong? That might be healthy. Two's company, and three's a crowd.

" _Po!"_ a plaintive voice cried, and he looked down. The triangular treats were hopping inside the basket, their tops opening and closing in agitation. _"Feast on us, Dragon Warrior! Fulfill the cosmic meaning of our existence in the way only you can! Give purpose to our beings inside your belly! Eat us, Po! EAT US!"_

Well, if it's my duty. So resolved, he got to work.

* * *

For perhaps the first time in their relationship, Fung and Viper found themselves alone together. Well, as much as you could be in a big crowd of people all fussing and bustling over themselves. They ambled aimlessly through the streets watching stalls selling masks and tiny boats be set up. It was a windy day and the local children were taking advantage of this auspicious weather to fly kites. Colorful paper toys painted with images of dragons, tigers and phoenixes soared in creative aerial displays across the clear blue sky.

Viper was pleased to note how relaxed Fung seemed to be. Up 'til now he was always on pins and needles when it came to being seen in public. That was partly the reason she suggested he set up a booth this year. It would get him out in the community and, incidentally, help him make a living. Festivals were the best time for craftsmen to sell their wares. She knew how some people responded to reptiles like them, and it was clear he had suffered some bad experiences in the past. But now that she was here, there would be nothing that could hurt him. Viper had resolved to make him a part of every aspect in her life.

Was she rushing things? They had only been together a few weeks, and already she caught herself fantasizing about taking him to meet her parents. That's normal, though. And… he made her happy.

" _Hey, watch it!"_

She snapped out of her daydream to see Fung come between her and a pig rushing down the street. The urgent ungulate recoiled back from his outstretched arm and gaped at the big crocodile glowering down a mouth full of teeth at him. His eyes then drifted lower as he spied Viper. "Oh! Master Viper! I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there!"

"It's fine," she laughed it off. Viper then reached up to tug on Fung's robe with her tail. "Really, I'm fine," she sought to reassure him.

He glanced at her, then nodded in acceptance. Looking back at the cowering pig Fung growled, "You should be more careful."

"I will! Sorry, it's just… sorry!" With that he went barreling past them.

Viper noticed something then. There seemed to be an awful lot of people moving in the same direction as that pig with great haste. Was something going on? Could anybody have gotten hurt? Resolved to investigate, she slithered up before Fung. "Looks like there's something in the works. Come on, let's go see what the fuss is about."

A few minutes later they were at the center of town where a large crowd had gathered. The press of bodies made it hard to discern what might be the cause. Viper took note of an unoccupied bench near a wall by a post decorated with tassels. She again tugged on Fung's robe to get his attention, and when he looked she indicated towards the spot. He caught on quickly. The two of them headed over out of the main mass of onlookers. Fung hopped upon the bench while Viper slithered up the pole to get a better view. The tall croc could now easily see over the heads of the crowd. Now, what could be…?

"CITIZENS!" a loud voice crowed. "PLEASE STAY BACK FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY!"

Fung gave a start. He knew that squawky voice! Now able to view the whole panorama, this was confirmed by the sight of Tuk Luk, the rooster tax collector. He was surrounded by his agitated assistants who were darting their bright red combs around at the crowd, looking like they were at the center of a squad of assassins rather than curious townsfolk. More roosters manned the cart which held their treasure boxes. And close to this…

"No!" Fung breathed.

A large barred prison carriage loomed gray and forbidding in the noonday sun. It was this that had drawn the crowd's interest. For there, hands and feet shackled in wooden blocks, sat his gang.

Their uniforms were torn, and he had never seen them look so utterly crestfallen. Their heads hung in shame as they were put on display for all to see. Some sported crude bandages. He quickly did a head count and was relieved to find everyone was present. Thank goodness. At least none of them were dead. Now to the bigger question: _how did this HAPPEN?!_

"You see before you a motley assortment of the most deplorable scum imaginable!" Tuk Luk's shout rang through the air. "This lawless band of miscreants," here he whacked the cage with his sheathed sword, causing the prisoners to flinch and cower, "have actually dared to impersonate royal officers and duped poor unsuspecting townsfolk into handing over the annual tribute lawfully owed to your Emperor!"

The rooster flapped his wings and leapt atop the cage, stalking from one iron bar to another. "We have apprehended these villains and are transporting them back to the capital, where they shall be brought before the very law which they so flagrantly defied! Rest assured," here Tuk Luk drew himself up short. "I intend to see to it that these vicious vagabonds are punished with nothing short of DEATH!"

People in the crowd murmured or shouted encouragement. Fung could neither speak nor think. His breath came very fast, and only one word rang through his mind. _Death. Death. Death._

Right then, as though alerted by his thoughts, Gahri lifted his head and looked straight at him.

They both blinked upon meeting one another's eyes. Fung's mouth opened, but he caught himself choking back the words. They stared at each other. The shouts of the mob diminished to nothing. It was just the bandit leader and his captured lieutenant.

Sitting beside Gahri, little Wong noticed him looking at something and followed his gaze. Upon spotting Fung his face lit up, and he turned to address the other crocs. Before he could, though, Gahri's cuffed hands came down on his shoulder. When Wong glanced at him questioningly, he simply shook his head. The midget crocodile didn't appear to know what to make of this, but he obeyed his superior's example. Some of the others who also followed this exchange took note and did the same. None of them made a sound.

Gahri looked towards his friend and leader one more time and gave a slow, sad nod. There was a look on his face that said it all. Then he turned his head away. Fung felt his blood run cold.

He knew what that look meant.

They were saying goodbye.

"Oh, Fung. I'm so sorry."

Lost and shaken, he turned to find Viper hovering by his shoulder. The beautiful serpent watched him with sad heartfelt eyes. "You shouldn't have to see this," she stated sympathetically. "I know they're bandits but that doesn't change the fact that they're your own kind. Trust me, I understand what you're going through. Come on," and she flowed down the pole. "Let's get out of here."

Fung took one last look at the imprisoned gang. All of them studiously avoided meeting his eyes. A sob welled up in his throat. Choking, he hopped down and allowed her to lead him away from there.

* * *

"Are you sure you won't stay?" Viper pressed him as they stood before the gates of the Jade Palace. "I can have rooms made up for you. It won't be a bother."

"I need to get home," he replied stiffly, eyes lingering off to one side. "My Mom needs checking up on. She's…" He shivered and clapped his jaw shut before gasping, "She's all by herself now!"

The slinky warrior studied him, noting the intense distress pouring off his every word and movement. That episode had struck Fung harder than she had imagined. It hurt to see him so obviously distressed. He wouldn't even look at her straight on. This saddened her, and she glanced away. "I see. I won't press you any further. It would have been nice to have you here, though. For some reason there's a lot fewer people around these days." She hesitated before asking. "Will I… still see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Don't worry. I'll be there."

Here he finally looked at her, and she did the same. They gazed into one another's eyes.

"Thank you, Viper. I lo…" His voice cut off, jaw trembling. Then, in a rush, "I look forward to seeing you again!" With that Fung turned and quickly began his descent down the long steps.

"Goodbye, Fung," she whispered as tears began to fall. The sun was going down, and the air already seemed chilly around her. Viper felt a familiar heartache. She wished she could help somehow. But what was there to do? Aggrieved, the lovely maiden made her way back into the palace.

Fung did not allow himself to look back as he hustled down the stairs. He didn't dare. His heart was urging him to return and throw himself before her, confess everything and hope against hope that she might forgive him. But even if she did, wonderful though that might be, it still wouldn't resolve the root cause of his distress.

" _Go on, Fung!"_ he could almost hear their voices. _"Go back to her. Live your own life! You've got it good now. Don't throw it all away just for us. We messed up on our own. It's not your fault. So just go. Be with her. We'll be happier if we know that's true."_

"Darn it!" he sobbed, staring at nothing while tears leaked from his eyes. "You guys…! You're so… dumb!"

"Fung."

He jerked to a halt. Surprised to find himself on level ground, Fung realized he had gotten down the steps without even realizing it. The lights of town loomed up ahead. Between it and him there stood Po.

Upon seeing the expression the panda wore, his eyes narrowed viciously. "Get out of my way."

In response Po raised his hands to show he meant no harm. "Look, I know what you're thinking. Just leave it to us! We'll make sure nothing truly bad happens to them."

"What do you care?" he shot back.

"I… can't tell you why. But just trust me, okay? Can you do that, Fung?"

He looked the hairy mammal up and down, vague hope dawning. "You're saying… you'll bust them out? Let them escape?"

Po drew a quick breath, then slowly exhaled. "No. I'm sorry. We're keepers of the peace. The Furious Five uphold the law. We don't break it!"

"Yeah? Well last time I checked, the Dragon Warrior isn't a member of the Furious Five! You're supposed to do what's right! And this…!" He leveled a trembling finger at the town. "This isn't right! I don't care what rules they broke. Those guys aren't bad! They don't deserve to be executed just because a few roosters got shown up!"

"Fung, you don't know what you're doing! Just… let it go! You can't be responsible for them anymore!"

"Is that what you would do in my place, huh?" he spat. "If it was the Furious Five in that cage, would you just turn your back on them?!"

"It won't make any difference!" Po shouted in exasperation. "Can't you see that?"

"I know I don't have to be the _Dragon Warrior_ to make a difference!" And with that Fung bellowed a war cry as he charged.

"Fung…" the living legend declared sadly. Then his face grew grim, he slid into his Panda Style form and…

WHAM!

One leather-shod foot connected with Fung's cheek. He pitched to the ground so hard for a moment Po was afraid he might be seriously hurt. But a second later the croc bandit was up and leaping forward again to swing his heavy tail with enough force to crack a rock. In response Po leapt straight up, flinging his whole body out horizontally and letting the attack pass below him even as he spun round and round like a drill. Both whirling fists lashed out to punch Fung hard in the chest. He collapsed to skid several yards back before coming to a halt, coughing and wheezing painfully. Po relaxed upon seeing him brought low.

Then, to his shock and horror, the bandit rose once more.

"Fung, don't make me hurt you, please!"

"Just shut up!" the crocodile snarled. He followed this by dropping down on all fours and speeding along faster than one might think a person of that size could move. Even if they did mainly excel in watery environments, crocodiles could be unnervingly quick on dry land. Fung counted upon this to take his enemy by surprise and allow him to zip past. Po wasn't much good when it came to sprinting; he had learned that much from their frequent battles. If he could get far enough away the panda would never catch up and it would be an easy enough matter to lose him in town.

Two hands seized hold of the tip of his tail. The next thing he knew Fung was swinging through the air, followed immediately by slamming hard to the ground. His eyes were shut tight with pain, but he managed to crack them open enough to see that it was not Po who had grabbed him.

"Tigress!" the panda protested. "Don't get involved. I can handle this!"

Fung's personal mistress of pain shot her ally a cold look, but consented to let go. She took a few steps back and crossed both arms over her strong chest. Emotionless eyes watched the pair of fighters.

That last attack hadn't been holding anything back, unlike with Po. Every inch of his body was screaming with intense pain. Woozily Fung flipped over onto hands and knees. The experience almost caused him to faint. He took a few deep breaths and shook his head to clear it. "Stay down!" he heard the Dragon Warrior plead.

 _Shah! As if._ There wasn't enough air for words, so he just let that comeback remain unspoken. Instead Fung gave his response by clambering upright, ignoring the clear signals his body was sending that it might be a good idea to take the panda up on that earlier offer. His soul wouldn't allow it.

Fung stood once more, and turned around. He focused on the blurry and rather spinning versions of Po a few paces off.

"Okay, you asked for it!"

So saying the hefty warrior exercised impressive agility, doing several backflips and landing securely on his feet twenty feet away. He took a deep breath, and with a thunderous cry took off running straight at Fung. Halfway to his target the panda performed another flip. When his feet touched the ground he bunched his mighty leg muscles, his whole body seeming to clench into something more solid then steel, and with that Po launched himself into the sky. Spinning like a boulder rolling downhill and just as unstoppable, the colossal animal came streaking down towards his target, a black and white meteor from the heavens accompanied by the cry of, "SKA-DOOSH!"

There came a boom that caused several people at the top of the mountain to wonder if an earthquake had occurred. Unmoved, Tigress did not so much as blink when a wall of wind and dirt came rushing over her. She waited for the dust to settle.

When it did, the Dragon Warrior lay flat upon the turf. Below his hairy gut and sunk deep into the ground was Fung. Patting about with his hands, Po levered himself up, arms shaking visibly at holding all that weight. He then flopped onto his back and lay next to his crushed opponent. "Whew!" he huffed. "Didn't wanna… do that to ya, Fung. But you left me… no choice! I…" He attempted to sit up, barely lifted his head off the floor and winced in pain. "Ouch… that move… I might want to reconsider using it. Hurts me a lot too."

At last he managed to clamber upright. Swaying and stumbling, Po trotted over to where Tigress stood. "Okay," he mumbled, working his jaw from side to side in an attempt to realign it. "Now that that's settled, we should find a way to talk to Tuk Luk and…"

A shifting from behind alerted him. Unable to believe what his ears were telling him, Po lurched around. Sure enough, Fung had gotten to his feet. He stood bowed at the waist, arms dangling limp as noodles, but undeniably upright.

"Fung…" Po gaped uncomprehendingly. Then swallowing in a dry mouth, he walked steadily forth until he stood before the crocodile again. There he assumed his fighting stance once more. "This is pointless. Just stop fighting! You know you can't beat me!"

"Maybe," the croc bandit rasped, hunched over gasping harshly. Narrow yellow eyes rose to fix upon Po. "But you can't _stop me!"_

The panda flinched at these words. Uncertain of what to try next, he stood there with one fist raised in readiness. What can I do? Without doing something I will surely regret? But he won't go down! What is…?

A strong paw came down on his arm. Perplexed, Po looked over to find Tigress standing beside him.

"He's right," she spoke softly. "You can't win this fight."

While they stared at one another, Fung took this opportunity to lurch away. At first Po expected Tigress to do something quick and painful that would completely incapacitate the croc and possibly worse. Instead she just stood there holding on to him. Before long Fung had entered the outskirts of the village. Soon he was lost to view.

"We have to do something!" Po whispered in desperation. "If he gets caught… if Viper finds out…!"

"Viper is our problem. We will deal with the repercussions ourselves. But this…" She looked in the direction Fung had gone. "… is a task he has to face himself." Tigress turned back up the stairs. "Come. We must warn the others and see to Viper. Master Shifu will decide if we are to tell her the truth." So saying Tigress sprang up the mountainside without waiting for him to pursue.

Po wasn't sure how he felt about this. Fung and Viper being together was his responsibility. He had sworn to keep her safe! And by extension, him. Now there was no clearly right recourse available.

If that's so, then maybe other people should decide. Having reached this conclusion, he followed Tigress back to the Jade Palace.

* * *

Alone in her room, Viper sat contemplating. She looked at the red clay sculpture which now took up space on the rug. The person who made it was gentle and considerate. And I must do something for him.

She then rose up and sped to the door. Sliding it open, Viper was surprised to find Monkey standing outside.

"Hey, Viper! Where are you going?"

"Monkey, why…?" She caught herself before proceeding. There were lives at stake here. "Have you heard what's happening in town?"

His hairless face took on an uncharacteristically somber cast. "You mean about the croc bandits? Yeah, I heard."

"Monkey," she drew up before him. "Fung saw them! He heard what's going to happen! I can't explain, but this is hurting him somehow. I have to speak to Tuk Luk, try and convince him to have mercy! Even if it's a sentence of life in prison, that's still better than death." Viper gazed at her friend beseechingly. "Will you help?"

Monkey's mouth opened, and he grinned now in a way that indicated more discomfort than humor. But when he spoke his voice was gentle. "Okay. I'm with you. Let's go!"

"Thank you," she hissed, heart brimming with affection. The two fighters then stole down the halls and into the approaching twilight.

 _To be continued…_


	5. Chapter 5

After a drubbing like he had just received, one might expect Fung to be in too much pain to contemplate anything beyond finding a doctor. But as he moved through the streets it all faded to a dull roar on the periphery of his perceptions. Maybe it was adrenaline finally kicking in. Or the knowledge that he didn't have the luxury of falling apart, physically or otherwise. His boys were in trouble. Beyond that everything else would have to wait.

In no time he found himself back at the small roadside stand he had erected. Memories of Viper lingered here, and he had to force himself to concentrate on the present. In desperation he rifled through the contents. What have I got to work with? Boxes filled with terra cotta, an abacus for calculating profit, some handmade leaflets… useless!

Fung glanced around the festively decorated street. Dusk was drawing to a close; soon night would fall. Nobody else remained in the vicinity to see him feverishly ransacking his own setup. Po had been right. It seemed the other vendors simply left their merchandise here overnight without fear of being robbed. They all went home to be rested for tomorrow. _For the execution_ , he thought bitterly.

His eyes lingered over several other stalls. A fierce wind whistled down the lane and made him shiver. It had been blowing all day.

Yeah… that could work. Sorry, Viper. Sorry, Po. But I gotta be a bandit one more time.

* * *

"Who is watching Viper?" Shifu pressed.

"Monkey, last I recall." Tigress had gone to one knee before him to explain the situation. Beside her Po was on both knees, more from exhaustion at sprinting up the palace stairs than any expression of humility.

For a moment Shifu looked away, clearly thinking the matter through. Around them the Hall of Warriors remained silent. However a sense of impending doom seemed to lurk in every shadow. The elderly sage shivered as though feeling that venomous promise. At last he tapped his staff resolutely on the floor and looked back to his disciples. "Tigress, you and Mantis shall offer to guard the croc bandits alongside the imperial officers. Should Fung make an attempt to free them, you will subdue him before he comes to any harm. Po, you and Crane will accompany me to treat with this Tuk Luk. Although we cannot impinge upon the duties of royal officers, perhaps he can see his way clear to mitigating their sentence enough that Fung will be satisfied."

Tigress' face took on a different shade of grim at the prospect. "I saw him fight, Master. I don't believe Fung is willing to let them receive any punishment, no matter how well deserved or what it might cost him."

"He chooses now of all times to behave nobly!" Shifu spat, though an air of grudging admiration took some of the sting from his words. "No matter. We will handle this situation ourselves. Viper need not be made aware until afterwards. By then we will be in a much better position to explain."

"Ex… plain?" Wheezing like a bellows, Po lifted his chin to focus on Shifu. "How… much?"

Their leader threw him a critical glare.

"Everything."

* * *

A knock came at the door. "Sir? You have visitors."

Tuk Luk looked up from the writing desk where he was busily checking figures. He blinked and snatched off his reading spectacles. "Who goes there?"

"Emissaries from the Jade Palace. One is the serpentine warrior who escorted us a few weeks past."

He considered this information before placing the scroll off to one side to dry, then rose and moved to open the door of his chamber. Outside on the balcony overlooking the inn's dining hall he found a familiar face. "Ah… Lady Viper."

"Official Tuk Luk." She bobbed her head gracefully before indicating to a powerfully built primate by her side. "This is my comrade in the Furious Five, Master Monkey. Forgive the late hour, but I must speak with you."

The rooster looked to his colleague and gave a nod. "Come in, please." He stood to one side allowing them to pass before shutting the door behind them. Tuk Luk strutted over to his desk and sat down, regarding the two champions of justice keenly. "How may I be of service to you?"

"It concerns the bandits you captured." Viper made no sound as she curled into a mound before him. "I overheard your intentions, and wanted to ask for leniency."

"Out of the question!" His wattle shook from side to side in undisguised agitation. "They have transgressed against the embodiment of heaven on earth! Such behavior cannot be permitted, lest lawlessness come to besmirch every aspect of our lives."

"I can only speak for myself. As a reptile, I'm ashamed of their behavior, seeing as how it perpetuates stereotypes about our kind. Snakes and roosters traditionally do not get along. We're looked upon as egg thieves, or worse. Every day I strive to prove that we are not the monsters so many paint us out to be! So when I do find myself at odds with another cold-blooded person, I want to bring them around to the right way, and help them act in a way that befits harmony."

"Harmony?" The resplendent rooster scoffed as he settled back in his seat. "Rather, it is 'harm'. Harm has been done here. Your philosophy is noble, but in this case the damage cannot be excused. And appropriate punishment must be meted out. Only then will harmony be restored."

"You've caught them," she persisted. "Those who were taken in by this scam already know better. They'll spread the tale as a warning! That is the story people will tell. How the law was pushed and it still won through. The only ones who will take notice of what happened to the culprits afterwards are criminals. And what do they care what befalls other criminals as long as it hasn't happened to them yet? It's the same for all lawbreakers until somebody steps up to stop them. What's important is they are caught. I believe that's what the people look to me and you for. That's what encourages them to believe in the imperial court. Not death; protection."

The rooster peered at her with a canny mien. "And when the next gang of robbers hears this tale of yours and thinks to emulate it?"

"Well, actually…" Here Monkey raised a paw before Viper could speak. "I talked to several of your men outside, and they mentioned something interesting." He winked at her when she cast him a look of incomprehension, as if asking her to let him give it a try."According to them, those crocs hit several towns only to wind up emptyhanded since some regular bandits swooped in and robbed them right afterwards."

Tuk Luk cocked his head. "What of it?"

"So you spread the word how the bandits themselves were set upon by other bandits! What better way to discourage someone from trying this again? If there's one thing you can count on, it's that there's no honor among thieves. And knowing that they're just making themselves targets for everybody else goes a long way towards discouraging copycats." The hairy huckster drummed the floorboards with a laugh. "Actually, it's a great joke, come to think of it! I can't wait to tell it to everybody. They'll laugh themselves silly!"

The tax collector's feathered neck fluffed out as he considered this. "Ah… there is some merit to your suggestion. But we can achieve the same results without consideration of the original perpetrators. And I still see no reason not to exercise the law to its fullest extent in this case!" He retrieved his spectacles and turned back to his desk with no trace of concern. "If there is nothing else, I will bid you both good evening. There is much work left to do ere the matter is brought to a close."

"Sir… I beg you to show mercy."

These simple words gave Tuk Luk pause. When he looked back it was to find Viper had risen to her full height. She affixed him with her bright blue eyes in such a way that the rooster felt uncomfortably hypnotized by their allure. But it was what she said next that caused him to shiver.

"I might never have come here, were it not for the fact that someone whom I care for deeply is also a crocodile. He witnessed what happened in the square today. And I could tell it grieved him to hear others might have to die. A selfish part of me wants to be able to inform him that this is no longer the case. Just so I can see him smile again like he used to! Because it would mean more to make one precious person happy than to defeat a thousand brigands. Some small kindness I can grant. Please," and here she dipped her head low, hooded eyes fixed on the floor so that their enchantment, if ever it had been, was broken. "I ask you to take my heart into account when you make your decision. Small as it may be, it is the most important thing I have to offer."

No one spoke for a time. Tuk Luk observed the slender reptile pleading before him. Slowly he reached up and tilted his spectacles down as though to get a better look at her. His beak opened, and he seemed to reflect before choosing his next words.

"I am not unappreciative of the great deeds you and the other members of the Furious Five have done for China, madam. While I hold myself to the highest standards as an officer of the imperial court… I do not place myself higher than heaven. And heaven bestows mercy upon us all."

He replaced his glasses and unrolled the scroll across his desk once more, appearing to examine it with great intensity. "For this and your plea I will not add my voice to a call for the death sentence. On that I give you my word. It is the best I can offer."

Viper sagged in relief. "Thank you."

Tuk Luk dipped his pen to hold it poised above the page. "He is a fortunate one, this crocodile of yours. I wish him well." The pen began to scratch across the paper. "Good evening to you both."

At this final dismissal Viper and Monkey left the room. The pair journeyed past several other roosters switching posts with those heading to bed on their way down the stairs. "Are you going to tell Fung?" he asked.

"Yes." She kept her tone light, but her long-time partner detected a spring in her slither that hadn't been there when they came in. "This will do us both a world of good. I only hope he hasn't–"

"TO ARMS!"

* * *

Roosters prowled about the square, fully armed and liable to look on everything as a threat. Any townsfolk still out at this hour wisely chose to give them a wide berth. Night had fallen, but the full moon was shining bright to the east and there wasn't a cloud in the sky.

Fung crouched at the edge of a rooftop. He had commandeered a heavy robe, and a long-billed mask made to look like Master Crane hid his face completely. Lucky for him the Furious Five were so popular in these parts. At last his preparations were complete. The wind had picked up nicely, so that he felt reasonably assured this plan might work. Just have to keep their attention focused off the guys long enough to make good. The cart holding his comrades was stationed at one end of the plaza with about six guards pecking about it. Twice that many were hanging around the money wagon where all the taxes were kept. They had just switched shifts for the night watch.

Behind him a heavy post sat upon the roof. To this were tied several kites whose strings had been shortened appropriately. Fung slunk over and removed the rocks he had placed on them to make sure they didn't fly off beforehand. The ones he had chosen all boasted grinning faces of demons painted on them. Sure hope those roosters are as panicky as I remember.

Well, here goes nothing. Time for this amateur arsonist to graduate to full-blown pyromaniac!

Fung applied a torch to the trailing pennants of his paper diversions. With that he let the kites fly. The wind filled their paper forms and sent them soaring skyward. A few fluttered limply to drop over the side of the building, but the rest took off and now stood out against the sky with fire crawling up their lengths. He then took a deep breath and shouted, "SKY BANDITS! IN THE SKY! BEWARE!"

The gang leader used a torch to set the fuses of some fireworks he had positioned beforehand. Below him the cry was taken up by the roosters. "TO ARMS!" they shouted. "BROTHERS! ROUSE YOURSELVES!" By then he was already leaping over to the next rooftop where his main arsenal was stored. Behind him the fireworks went off, soaring up into the night trailing fire and sparks in their wake, only to explode overhead with thunderous booms. The whole town below was lit up in green, purple and red.

Panic could clearly be heard. There were people shouting and trying to figure out what was going on. By now Fung already had his next wave ready. Small hand-held fireworks designed for noise and smoke went sailing through the air and landed in the town square where they popped to great effect. As he flung more and more of them down, the daring brigand took note of the current situation. Roosters were running back and forth like chickens with their heads cut off. A few had taken to firing arrows at the kites, some of which fluttered down in flames, only adding to the confusion. People were screaming. It was now or never!

One last jump across the rooftops landed him as close to the wagons as he dared. A cloth-topped pot of oil awaited him. Fung thrust his torch into the fabric and watched it come ablaze. He hefted the pot by a rope tied around its lip, ran to the roof's edge and, gauging the distance, swung the flaming missile round a few times before letting it fly.

He had hoped to at least get it close. To Fung's delight the oil pot soared right where he had aimed to crash into the money wagon. There was a whoosh of igniting oil, and then the small mountain of boxes and goods went up in a pillar of flame.

"FIRE!"

Word went out quickly. By then he had already dropped down to the ground and made his way carefully to the edge of the building. Fung peeked around the corner. Smoke and flame seemed to be everywhere. Imperial officers and citizens alike were rushing to fetch buckets of water to douse the blaze. No one seemed to be hanging around the prisoners' cart. _GO!_

With that the daring crocodile got down on all fours and raced towards his destination. No time to worry about being seen now. He'd done all he could in terms of a diversion. His heart was racing. Everything around him was light and noise. The distance between himself and the jail cart dropped to half, then a few feet. Someone tripped over him in the confusion, but he pressed on. So intent was he on making it that Fung actually ran right into one of the wheels before he realized it. "Darn it!" he cursed.

"Fung!"

Looking up, he spied Gahri peering down at him. The other crocs were soon clustered as well as they could at his back.

"Get away from the door!" he commanded. Immediately they obeyed, scrunching back against the bars as far as they could. Fung got to his feet and ran up the short steps until he stood before the gate. From his pocket he produced a paper tube packed with as much fireworks powder as it could take and twisted on both ends. This he quickly tied around the lock. Hope it's enough. He pulled a set of flint from his robe and began striking them together to light the explosive. Come on, come on!

The paper took light. Yes! Fung jumped back and turned to run.

As he did, a sharp blow struck him right in the cheek. He fell from the wagon heavily, banging his head against the cobbles. Something landed on his chest as he lay there dazed.

"Fung?!"

The voice made his blood run cold. A moment later, everything exploded.

* * *

There came a great clamor from outside the inn. In no time feathers and screams were flying. Roosters came pouring downstairs and went racing to answer this call.

"Don't worry!" Viper cautioned her partner as he gaped in perplexity. "I've seen this before, they're probably just overreacting. But just to be on the safe side, let's go see what the fuss is about before anybody gets hurt."

With that she sped forth to join the guardsmen pouring from the inn. Monkey did not hesitate to go tearing after, hoping against hope this was not what he thought it was.

Viper entered the open air and slipped to one side so as not to be trampled. The sound of fireworks drew her attention upwards. Were those kites someone was flying? A sharp crack drew her attention, and she saw explosions off to her left. Viper tasted smoke on her tongue. More fireworks, she realized. Roosters crowded the square. She heard Tuk Luk's voice carrying over the din and moments later the senior officer had vaulted from a window and flapped down in the midst of the chaos.

Monkey hopped beside her. "What's going on?"

She gave no answer, only continued to examine their surroundings. On instinct she darted a look over at the prison cart. No, it didn't look as though they were trying to make a bid for freedom. Her head came around, and that was when it hit her. The kites, the fireworks… they were all at the other end of the square! Far removed from the prisoners. Was someone trying to get everybody's attention off them in order to stage a breakout?

It was then she spotted a flaming meteor lob over the edge of a roof. Viper's eyes widened in horror. She heard Monkey shout a warning that was ignored. A second later that fireball had smashed into the wagon containing the collected imperial taxes, and a hot wind traveled over them as it ignited the chests and caskets with the stink of spilled oil. The cry of "WATER!" now went up, and every single person previously running around raced to help extinguish the conflagration.

She obeyed her instincts. "Help with the fire!" Viper yelled at Monkey before darting off in a flash. He yelled out behind her, but his ally was concentrating too intently on avoiding the press as she made her way towards her goal. Not like she could carry a bucket anyway. But if she was right and this was all staged, there were better ways to exercise her talents.

In the orange light of the flames the serpentine warrior darted unseen along the street. The attack on the money wagon served to confirm her suspicions. This was obviously a coordinated assault, and for once the cash was not the objective. She was halfway to the prison cart when she spotted something strange. A bulky figure was racing low to the ground in much the same position she was. It looked to have a long beak and was covered by a cloak. This shape had already reached the prisoners, where it hesitated only a moment before rushing up to the door.

Viper increased her pace. A flash of light caught her eye. He was trying to light something! With an outraged shout she sprang through the air just as the culprit turned. Her tail lashed out to strike him in the head, and he went flying to the ground with an undignified, "Oomph!" She landed atop him ready to deliver the next blow. The scent of lizard hit her, heavy and familiar. For a second she thought it must be the crocs in the cage.

Then her tongue registered the truth.

"Fung?!" she gasped incredulously. Viper snatched the mask away, and there he was, ochre eyes burning in the firelight. Too stunned to react, she saw his gaze dart past her, and then he heaved to one side, taking his assailant with him to land atop her.

An explosion followed. So loud it made her head spin, the snake could only lie panting for a time. Fung's face filled her vision. He was also breathing heavily. "Are you… okay?!" he demanded.

The question didn't make any sense. Only when she saw the fire crawling over his shoulders did she realize. "Fung," Viper slurred dizzily, "You're on fire."

"Huh?" He looked behind him. "Darn it!" Fung rose up and pulled the flaming fabric over his head, wadding it up before tossing it aside. He sat there on his knees staring at her. A confused clamor drew both their attention, and they turned to see the croc band falling out of the cage, its blasted door swinging wide. Still shackled hand and foot, they couldn't even stand and simply lay in a pile of slightly singed scales.

"Ah think you made it a bit too strong, Fung," a wall-eyed crocodile declared.

"Hold."

This cold voice was accompanied by the gleaming point of a sword pressed against Fung's throat. He went still, eyes going wide. Beside him Tuk Luk glanced down at Viper, then back at the crocodile. "Rise off her, criminal," he commanded with his blade never leaving its place by his captive's neck.

Fung obeyed. Moving with great care and arms raised in surrender he shuffled backwards still on his knees. Viper slithered upright. They stared at one another without saying a word.

A bucket brigade had already been formed. Sand and earth were employed to douse the flames when water proved insufficient. While most labored on the recovery, a few more roosters holding torches came over to join their leader. Now surrounded, the other crocodiles looked around morosely. They did not bother trying to escape.

"Fung…"

He winced at her voice. Tears were forming in his eyes as he sought hurriedly to speak. "Viper, listen, I gotta explain everything to you! Just gimme a chance, okay?"

His voice trailed off. Nothing more came as he realized no explanation could possibly do him any good at this point. The way she was looking at him made Fung sick to his stomach. His whole body ached from head to toe. The beating from before, obviously, but now accompanied by a tightness in his throat and a pain in his chest that hadn't been evident prior to this. He feared breaking down sobbing at any moment.

"Do not be deceived by those crocodile tears, Lady Viper," Tuk Luk warned. "I do recall this wretch now. He was present at our first meeting, disguised as a servant. It must have been then when they managed to copy the imperial seal without our knowledge. At last everything is explained." He withdrew his sword, returning it to the scabbard. "Was this also part of your plot, villain? Did you play upon the lady's affections in order to perpetrate your despicable ploy undetected?"

"Shut your beak," Fung growled low. He turned angry eyes upon the royal officer. "She's got nothing to do with this!"

Right then the crowd of roosters parted to allow Po and the Furious Five through. Even Master Shifu was there. Viper looked to her friends in search of help. In their faces she saw shock, dismay, and even… fear. It made her feel like the rug had been pulled out from under her whole world. Just what was going on?!

She turned back to Fung crouched in the street. For some reason he looked like no one she had ever seen. A stranger. _I know nothing about him,_ she realized with a stab of hurt. "Who _are_ you?" she gasped without thinking.

For once he could not look at her. His head fell, shoulders slumping. "I'm… one of them." He indicated dispiritedly over his shoulder towards the crocodiles. "The leader of the gang." Yellow eyes finally sought her out, shining with unshed tears. "I'm Fung the Croc Bandit."

A sob came in response. Shaking her head, Viper slithered back, unable to take her eyes off him. It all makes sense! Or does it? No, it can't be, because if that's true… if it is then that means…

"You knew!"

She turned in surprise to where Po stood.

"You knew the whole time! Who he was, what he did… you knew, Po! Why did you let me… how _could you?!"_

"Viper," the panda whispered back, face twisted with grief. "I'm so sorry! I never meant for things to turn out like this!"

Viper swayed from side to side. It was so much worse than she thought. They _all_ knew. How could they not? I must have been the only one. There's no other explanation. But still, why?!

Without another word Viper swung about and slithered away. She heard Fung give a short sharp cry like he was in pain, but it didn't make her feel anything. Her heart already overflowed with hurt from the revelation of this betrayal. Him, and her friends. Everyone.

Alone, the grieving serpent disappeared into the dark.

About to move in pursuit, Po was drawn up by a wooden staff blocking his path. "No, Panda," Shifu spoke sternly without looking at him. He watched Viper retreat beyond the fringe of torchlight. "We must give her time to think."

"I couldn't stop her." Monkey wiped soot off his face sadly. "I'm sorry, guys."

"Perhaps no one could," Tigress reflected. "It might have been beyond our control."

"Shall I inform the palace attendants to leave?" Crane flapped his wings in readiness to take flight.

"Not yet." Shifu hung his head, considering. A few feet away Fung was being taken into custody by the roosters. The bandit leader made no move as they slapped a pair of wooden cuffs onto him before being led away. That stage of the affair seemed to be over. He rounded on his students. "We shall continue to observe Viper carefully. Only if the change manifests will any action be taken. In the meantime let us try to offer her support and comfort in any way we can."

With that he proceeded to lead them home. About to follow, Po hung back. He watched as Fung and his followers were escorted away by the imperial guards. There were people all around asking dozens of questions. He didn't have the heart to answer them. More than ever it became apparent this whole deal was completely his fault. He should have just turned Fung down on that first day, sent him home with a warning or whatever. Now someone they all cared about was hurt as a result of his carelessness. _This might be the worst thing I've ever done,_ he reflected with a pang of heartache. _Isn't there any way to make it right?_

Seeing the utter devastation on Fung's face, he found himself doubting that. Instead Po turned his steps back to the Jade Palace, there to deal with whatever might await him.

* * *

None of them sought to approach Viper that night. They did not enter their living quarters around her, deciding instead to bed down outdoors. Mantis volunteered to remain close and continue to watch for any sign of Viper's affliction manifesting. The rest of them gathered blankets or whatever made them comfortable and lay under the stars. Master Shifu sat with legs crossed on a small boulder a few feet away, pouring over the contents of some scrolls in deep deliberation. A rectangular box was kept close at hand. At his insistence, the rest of them tried to get some sleep.

Po lay awake for most of the night. Occasionally he felt himself drifting off, but could never be sure if he actually slept. At times he convinced himself he could hear sobbing a ways off, very faint, so that whenever he strove to listen it seemed to disappear. The very thought made his teeth clench. His stomach felt empty, but not from hunger. Even thinking about food didn't offer any solace, and he couldn't force down a bite if he tried. Remorse filled him up too completely.

When dawn broke Monkey took up the position left by Mantis. After this Shifu led them to the training hall. He eyed the remaining four warriors critically. "I need not repeat how delicate a situation we are in. What happens next I cannot say. But just as important as the safety of our charges is Viper's safety. We must strive to help her through this. Otherwise–"

Before he could finish the doors flew open and Monkey came barreling in. "She's coming!"

All of them tensed. As one they then surged outside to stand in the courtyard. There they waited. Po stood fidgeting from one foot to another. He felt groggy and tingly all over. There was also a new sensation, though, almost like a presentiment of danger. The Dragon Warrior watched the stairs leading up to this spot with a measure of worry now. Had the venom started to take hold of Viper? What would they be faced with? His imagination conjured an image of some giant shadowy serpent with blazing red eyes slowly rising before them to blot out the sun.

Instead a small green head with floral buns poked up over the lip of the stairs. Viper swished into view and crossed the training yard to come to a rest before Master Shifu. "Master," she dipped before him, a tinge of melancholy in her words.

"Viper," he greeted her, face calm but eyes searching for some sign of impending doom. "How are you feeling?"

"Well enough." When she looked at them all, there was no smile to be seen. Only a clear look of questioning. Like she too was searching for some answer to what happened last night. By the way her eyes drifted downwards it was clear none of them had provided her with a satisfactory response. Instead she turned back to Shifu. "I am ready to train."

The two kung fu masters stood before one another. To Po it felt as though some tension passed between those deceptively small figures. It might have just been his imagination, for after a few seconds Shifu nodded in acknowledgement and stood aside to let her pass. The rest of the Five did the same. When Viper drew by them to enter the hall Po was just about to speak to her when he felt a powerful grip seize his wrist. Beside him Tigress cast a warning glare in his direction, and he swiftly reconsidered any opening foray into conversation. Clearly that would have to wait.

"Begin," Shifu ordered softly.

Monkey and Tigress stepped up first. Together they entered the practice field amid its numerous lethal instruments. The click of a switch sent blade-studded clubs swinging on chains, and the two warriors sprang forward without hesitation into peril. Superior agility served the smaller master well as Monkey leapt and twirled from one spot to another whilst juggling on the rotating python poles below. No less swift, Tigress preferred to slip quietly from side to side like a shadow in the jungle while maintaining her progression across the stage. At one point two spiked giant morning stars were coming at her from either side. For a moment Po feared for her safety.

He must have blinked, for in the next instant the rugged feline was stepping calmly past that spot like nothing had happened, both of the Seven Swinging Clubs of Instant Oblivion swinging harmlessly in the opposite direction. Po couldn't help himself. He let out a squeal of appreciation.

Beside him, Viper coiled in on herself with a small hiss. Shifu's sharp ears pricked up, and he focused in on her. But nothing more was forthcoming.

They cleared the Clubs and landed atop the giant jade bowl at the same time. Now footwork was engaged to rock the perfectly balanced half sphere around while remaining in one place. They kept their eyes locked on one another. When Tigress used her greater weight to overbalance their perch in her favor, Monkey responded by springing back and grabbing the edge with both hands, employing momentum and the strength in his arms to send it roaring back in the other direction. Rather than fight the flow, however, Tigress simply slid along the edge, riding it down so that she had joined Monkey on his side. They all saw the muscular simian grin before flipping across the empty bowl tucked into a ball to land on the side previously vacated by Tigress. It came to a rest with them now in the opposite positions where they started on the Jade Tortoise of Wisdom.

At a nod from both, the two vaulted off to land amid the whirling wooden target stands, each oiled and balanced so they made virtually no sound when swinging on their supports. Tigress powered through that forest of reactive branches, knocking them aside and deflecting the component arms as they counterattacked. The sound of her breathing became audible now. Doing the same, Monkey failed to note a swinging limb that struck him a glancing blow on the back of the head. Po flinched in concern, knowing how even the slightest break in your form could open you up to a punishing barrage from all sides at this stage.

However rather than going down Monkey grabbed an iron-tipped post and used it to launch himself into the air where he snagged one of the bladed hoops. Now he swung from one to another, exercising great care as the Seven-Talon Rings moved in response to his presence. Monkey had a slight lead which he was trying to make the most of. Below him Tigress continued on her purposeful march while giving no ground, limbs whirling faster than the posts to counter any assault from the Gauntlet of Wooden Warriors.

The switch from air to ground ate up his advantage, and Monkey and Tigress arrived together at an arena of black tubes from which spurts of flame emitted at irregular intervals. Now at last they fell to trading blows. Monkey pranced about while Tigress pounced in return, a perfect blend of predator and prey instincts. Not to be pigeonholed, it was he who took up the attack, launching a kick at her as she sprang forward. Tigress blocked in midair and responded with a spinning lash of one leg.

A long golden tail wrapped around the incoming blow, and Monkey used this as support to swoop below it, in turn pulling Tigress off balance to fall with him. The two masters landed close together, only to quickly spring away as a belch of flame greeted them both. The big cat let out a "Hmph!" of disdain at his trickery, but her opponent only flashed his teeth and clapped both feet together. This lightheartedness did not prevent him from spinning away before he could be kissed by fire. Tigress launched herself eagerly in pursuit, and they traded blows while dancing amid the Field of Fiery Death.

"Enough."

While not having raised his voice, still both fighters heard and obeyed Shifu's order. They jumped clear to land out of any further danger. Tigress and Monkey then bowed to one another respectfully before taking up position to await their companions.

"Next."

Crane stepped forward, and Po was about to do the same when he felt a light tap on his shoulder. "Not you, Panda." Surprised, he craned his head down to see Shifu remove his staff and look towards Mantis. "Proceed."

They hesitated only an instant before heading out. The deadly challenges began, from their environment and one another. Meanwhile Po felt rather exposed to danger in his own right. He caught himself flicking glances at both snake and red panda. What was Master Shifu thinking asking him to enter the field with Viper? She hadn't said a word or even looked at either of them in response, focusing instead on the progress of the others. Maybe he should say something? "Hey, Viper…?"

"Be still, Panda!" Shifu's voice snapped in reproach. "Your turn will come. Wait patiently."

He did so without question. Nonetheless the young warrior wished very much for a chance to try and talk before fists started flying. Or worse. He still wasn't sure what to say, only that tingle up his spine still hadn't gone away since they started. Like his body was trying to warn him of something.

"Enough."

Huh? Was it over already?!

"Next."

Wait, I'm not sure this is a good idea!

Viper streamed forward without complaint. A prod in the back got Po moving. He stood beside her at the end of the arena. Was there still time? "Viper, can we talk?"

A click, and the Clubs were swinging. Viper took off below them without much effort, the serpentine log roll not affording her much distress. For his part all of Po's attention turned to keeping from getting skewered and bludgeoned to death while not falling into the wooden meat grinder below. "EEP!" he squeaked. That one was a little too close for comfort. Not for the first time he reflected that Soft Style did not quite stack up to Hard in every situation. Being able to shatter these things with a single blow like Tigress would come in handy.

"Focus, Panda!"

He was falling behind Viper. Sure hope Shifu has a plan. With that Po poured it on until he made it through and scrambled atop the Tortoise. Viper balanced across from him, swaying up and down. Much to his surprise he realized she was looking at him. There was no friendliness to be found in her expression, but neither was there anything he might describe as threatening. However before he could strive for reconciliation she simply sprang off to land amid the wooden dummies. Hey, wait, aren't we supposed to…?

Too late he noticed the overbalanced bowl was tipping hard under his prodigious weight. "Uh-oh!" He jumped straight up. The other edge of the Tortoise came swinging at his face. With a yelp Po reached out and caught it on instinct. Upended, the huge implement came crashing down, and the Dragon Warrior did the only thing he could. Bracing his legs, he landed on the wooden catwalk to bend as much as possible under that weight. Every muscle screamed in protest of this treatment. Holy hot sauce, I never realized how completely _heavy_ this thing is!

A convulsive heave, and he managed to extricate himself from beneath the bowl. The panda then managed to ease it down without giving himself a hernia until the Tortoise lay resting along the edge of the catwalk. He let go and stepped back, arms trembling from the strain.

"Panda! Get back in the field!"

"Oh! Uh, right!" Frantically Po dashed into the grove of pain.

"Ha! Hoo! Hee! Ow! Ha–ow! Oh, ya wanna try that aga–OW!"

Somewhat tenderized, he scrambled up onto the level of hotfoot hell. Viper was already way ahead of him, zipping from safe spot to safe spot, almost seeming to ride the puffs of flame like a bird. If she was still feeling aggrieved, it certainly didn't show in her technique. The sultry snake glided through this danger zone without a scratch on her like always. If anything, she seemed even quicker than usual. Being quite bigger, this final stretch was the one Po always dreaded most of all. While nowhere near as disastrous as that first attempt way back, his somewhat… expansive frame made for a lot more area that needed to be protected. And fur burned very easily. Oh well, nothing to it. He bent his knees and threw back his arms in readiness to leap forward.

As he did so, Viper paused. Their eyes met.

Po heard something strange. At first he assumed it might be the hiss and whoosh of igniting gas. But when it didn't stop it dawned on him this had nothing to do with the training room mechanics. It was a rattling noise, unlike anything he had ever encountered. Yet in spite of this he found his legs freezing up in some kind of instinctive response. His heart pounded with fear. The rattle continued.

"Panda?! What's wrong?"

Unable to move, he stared at Viper. Flames rose all around her, reflecting off shining scales in orange and blue. Yet none of them touched her flesh. And she made not even the slightest movement in response. Still as a frozen pond in winter, she watched him with a coldness to match. His mouth worked up and down trying to form words. Viper's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. Her tongue licked out. The rattling in his ears grew louder. _Don't move. Danger._

" _PO!"_

With a start he sprang forward to land in the burning square, and at the same time, Viper jumped out.

She turned and slithered towards the doors leading outside. Po gaped after her. What's the deal?

 _FWOOSH!_

"HAAAAA-UT-OT-HOT-HOT-HOT!"

Po landed on his rump and went skidding across the wooden floor in an effort to extinguish his burning nether regions. His friends clustered around him. All except Tigress and Shifu, who stood to one side watching as Viper left. One hand emerged from the green sash across his chest where an ornate mechanical device was securely stored in preparation. It seemed now was not the time.

"Po," Monkey spoke in a low voice beside him. "Did you feel something? Was there… any pain?"

"Only in my rear," he retorted, wincing and struggling to stand. "How does it look?"

"We're not that close friends, pal." Mantis resolutely kept his head averted from the sight of burnt panda rump. "Find a mirror to tell you."

Tigress approached him. "What happened?"

Po turned his back to the wall in embarrassment so she couldn't see. "I'm not sure. It's just… when I looked at Viper, I felt like something was telling me to stay away. Like a sixth sense, or something. Did you guys hear anything?" he queried anxiously. "Like this weird death rattle kind of noise?"

The rest of them glanced between one another in confusion. Meanwhile Tigress shook her head and moved to rejoin Master Shifu. For a time neither of them spoke. Surprisingly, it was she who broke the silence. "I'm going to talk with her."

The master of the Jade Palace looked up at his pupil. He hesitated to express any fears, instead opting to say, "Take one of the others with you. No one is to be near Viper alone, for their sake."

She nodded and stole off. At a sign from Shifu, Crane moved to join her, and they headed out together.

* * *

When Viper entered her room, the first thing she saw was the nap stand Fung had made. Last night she had coiled around it sobbing. Now, in the light of day, all she felt was _anger._

Moments later the red clay construct was reduced to broken rubble. She stared at its remains, fuming. Her head moved in search of another target but there appeared nothing that would suit her. In fact, with this mess, there wasn't even any room to lie down and sleep, which was her original goal in coming back here. Now upset with herself for not stopping to think beforehand, she headed outside in search of some palace attendants to get their help in cleaning it up.

"Viper?"

Disconsolately she turned her head. At the end of the hall stood Tigress. Not surprising she would be the first one to approach her. Bravery or stupidity? Didn't matter anyway. She was in no mood to talk.

"I'm not looking for an explanation. Please, just leave me alone." She turned to go.

"I wanted to make sure you're okay," the feline persisted.

Viper tensed. Had she not made herself _clear?_ Still the slender reptile strove to keep her voice from breaking when she spoke next. "Can't you see that I'm _not?_ Do you need to ask why?" She whipped around to glare at her old friend. "The whole time I was swooning over a criminal, you all just _stood there_ and did _nothing!_ Never mind Po, who introduced me to him in the first place! What was your excuse, Tigress? Why did you let it happen?"

Awkwardly the master combatant fisted her pants in both paws. "I thought he could change. When I confronted him, he seemed sincere about you. And if you already cared for Fung, then–"

"Oh, just stop!" The sound of his name made something burn at the back of her skull. Viper wished dearly for anything handy to smash once again. "This is so ridiculous! We only knew each other for a few weeks! How could anything meaningful develop in that time?!"

Tigress lifted her head. "It wouldn't be the first time," she spoke quietly.

A quiver of rage passed all along Viper's body. "Don't you _dare_ mention him!"

"I'm not trying to hurt you any more than we already have," she pressed. "I'm afraid for you. For what you might do to yourself if things get out of hand. We should have fought harder to protect you, I know. But right now, I only want you to feel safe here. With us. Because we care about you."

"Safe?!" Viper spit the word. "Is that why you've been spying on me? Don't bother trying to deny it!" Her head waved side to side in bitterness. "You guys can be as quiet as you like, but I can feel the vibrations in the ground when you're near! And there's nothing you can do to hide your _scent!"_ Her tongue flicked out meaningfully. "I know when you're around! And at first I just assumed you wanted to make sure I was safe when I was with him, for whatever reason! Because I did…" Here she swallowed. "I did get hurt before. And it felt nice to think that you were all looking out for me again. You… are my family."

Tigress took a step towards her, at which Viper flinched away. Her friend drew back in disbelief. When they looked at one another, there was anguish in both their faces.

"I love what you bring into my life," the cat warrior managed to speak at last. Putting her emotions into words was never easy, but now Tigress was compelled by more than a sense of obligation. "You've treated me like a sister, and let me know how special that feels. It's wonderful having you as a friend, Viper. But it also means I might have hurt you the most. It does no good to say it, but I'm sorry." She dropped down to her knees. "I don't know what I can do to make this any less painful for you. And for that I am also ashamed. I've failed you. I wish it wasn't so. But it is."

Time passed without another word being spoken. Until finally…

"I know."

Viper took a slow breath. The hot viciousness in her head was easing. Anger still remained, but not spoiling for a target to lash out at. Perhaps talking about it had helped a little. It made her feel slightly relieved.

"You don't have to fix this now," she continued. "Just let me find my own way back to where we were. I will… try to be your sister again." Viper turned back down the corridor sadly. "Give me time."

A tight whisper came back. "Thank you."

Tigress wiped a paw across her eyes. With one last look at her friend, she rose and took a step away.

Beneath her foot, a floorboard gave a load _creeeak!_

 _hisssSTRIKE!_

Tigress' knees hit the floor. She sagged to one side, tearing through the paper wall to collapse on the ground where she lay unmoving.

A few seconds later there came the running of feet. Crane flew around the corner, where he saw his ally lying still. Immediately he knew what he had to do. With one flap of his wings he sent forth a blast of wind that blew the screens away, exposing the morning daylight outside. He hooked his claws into Tigress' belt, jerking his head around fearfully to see if the noise had attracted any attention. When nothing presented itself he hopped outside and launched himself into flight, flapping his wings furiously as he drove towards the training hall where help awaited.

Behind them, Viper proceeded on her way without bothering to notice of any of this. Her pupils had shrunk to slits. A shadow she cast along the wall loomed large and threatening.

The poison mistress of the Jade Palace swept through her home.

 _To be continued…_


	6. Chapter 6

Her eyes flew open, and Tigress drew in a deep gasping lungful of air. Slumped on her side, she coughed and gave a violent shudder, head swimming.

"Sweet immortal peaches!" Mantis breathed, wiping one claw across his brow and stepping back. "It worked!"

Her insect ally was holding a cluster of acupuncture needles. Lying prone on a pallet, when Tigress made an effort to rise nothing happened. A terrible sense of fear settled in her. Shifu's face swam into view. "How are you feeling?"

"I… can't… move," she gritted between clenched teeth. It was true. Even speaking was a trial, feeling as it did like her throat was filled with sand. The best she could manage was to flick her eyes around. The rest of her felt so weak it was almost surprising to find she was still able to draw breath.

"I've been where you are," Monkey supplied in commiseration from his place beside her. "Don't worry. If my case is any example, you should be up and around in about a week. More or less."

In the warm sunlight outside the training hall, Shifu visibly relaxed and took up his staff of office again. "You are fortunate. Thanks to a combination of teachings that Oogway left on the subject and Mantis' knowledge of pressure points, we were able to expel the venom from your body before it could do any significant harm. For now you should rest."

Tigress finally pieced together what no one had bothered to say outright. "Viper… did… this?"

Shifu's face fell. "Yes," he admitted grudgingly. "Though I doubt she even knew it at the time. Our worst fears have been realized. All the staff have already been sent to the village below so that they are out of harm's way."

They all saw the pain that crossed this normally stoic warrior's face. Her eyes sought out Po, who was hovering anxiously over where she lay. She tried to speak, failed, and then finally forced out the words. "Help… her!"

Mouth open, he gave a silent nod. As if waiting for this all the tension drained out of Tigress and she closed her eyes to enter a deep sleep. The rest of them reassured themselves of this, then turned their attention to the Jade Palace on the mountain opposite, where only one single soul now remained in residence.

"It's just us and her now," Mantis whispered.

* * *

The prison wagon rattled to a halt. Since Fung had destroyed their previous confinement, a new one had been acquired by the roosters before continuing on. Converted in great haste out of an old farmer's wagon with the help of a local carpenter, this cell had walls made of wood. A single window in the door meant they could hardly see their surroundings. In addition to this there wasn't quite as much room as the old spacious iron prison, which left the gang of crocs squished into uncomfortably close company. It was all they could do just to sit down.

As a result of this, or perhaps for reasons less savory, their leader was not with them. Instead Fung had a rope tied around his wooden handcuffs and had been made to stumble along behind their transport. Whether this punishment served its purpose could not be determined by looking at him. Now that a halt had been called, the shattered reptile simply flopped down and continued to stare at the ground with the same miserable expression he had affected since last evening. In similar circumstances were Gahri and tiny Wong, whom the roosters had singled out as being the ringleaders of this band and removed from the cart when space clearly would not permit any more to be incarcerated therein. Both of the larger crocs took turns carrying Wong on their backs throughout the journey. Otherwise his puny legs would have left him being dragged through the dirt. In spite of this, neither of them could get a word out of Fung. He had not spoken once since the failed rescue.

Night was falling. While the roosters pitched camp in a glade off the beaten track, Gahri and Wong simply sat watching their boss for some sign of improvement. None was forthcoming. At last when the tents were erected and a guard had been set around the perimeter, Tuk Luk came strutting over. With comb held high he glanced down at the unmoving bandit leader with disdain. At last he withdrew a familiar seal from his pocket. Then with pronounced languor he slipped a wing into another pocket to come up with a second seal, virtually identical to its mate.

"This bit of evidence carries a heavy penalty," he clucked, holding aloft the first token. "To the untrained eye, it does indeed appear to be authentic." Both badges shuffled between his hands, and he held them out for Fung's inspection. The imprisoned brigand did not rise to the bait. At last Tuk Luk pulled back and slipped the real one into his robe. "But value wins out." He ran a feather over the counterfeit, holding it up to show dried paint flaking off. This he then flicked away before returning the clay seal to its resting place.

"You are more fortunate than you know, rogue," the rooster scoffed. Gahri and Wong watched silently from a few paces away, intimidated but anxious to assure their friend's safety. "Were it not for the oath I swore all unknowing to Lady Viper beforehand, this journey would assuredly end with your execution. But I am honor bound to respect my vow, and so I shall not demand for such a sentence." He began walking around Fung with stately steps. "Instead, I shall see to it you are pressed into service at the Langxi DaQui penal mines. There you shall be worked until every drop of criminality and lawlessness has been squeezed from your bones."

His slow circuit continued. Fung gave no indication he heard any of this, and Tuk Luk bore on. "A sentence of fifty years would be considered light for your behavior. However I am again guided by Lady Viper's worthy example. So whatever the number handed down to you and your renegade band, for each year of your sentence that you successfully serve, one shall be subtracted from that assigned to those who followed you. In this way you will expiate the bad example you set and thereby show the munificence of the imperial court. I trust you are appropriately grateful."

When no response came from the prisoner, Tuk Luk paused. He studied the bent form for a time. Then, having apparently said all he cared to, the loyal servant of the empire swept his magnificent tail feathers around and sauntered regally off to his quarters. Another rooster came forward and affixed wooden block cuffs to Fung's feet to make sure he did not try to run. Although in truth, escape seemed the farthest thing from his mind. The energy which had animated him previously was now absent. The same was done for his two associates. Another guard brought a bowl of mush for him and the other bandits, but Fung paid it no heed. The food sat untouched at his side.

Torches were lit. Many of the tax collectors bedded down for the night. Locked in their transport, the crocs tried to get whatever sleep they could. Wong curled up as well as he was able and soon began to gurgle soft snores. Gahri stayed awake for a long time, staring at his forlorn friend, hoping for some sign that Fung might be well. At last he too was forced to drop back and let slumber overtake him.

After a time the gibbous moon rose above the treetops. As if waiting for this, Fung stirred and lifted his head. He gazed at that celestial sphere for a long time. Nothing else seemed to catch his attention. The guards on patrol took note of this activity, but after nothing further occurred, they decided not to investigate. All around there emerged the sounds of night. Insects chirping. The wind through the leaves. A small river not far off. Amidst all this a lone croc sat unmoving under the moon.

Something dark fluttered down from the sky to alight on the branch of a nearby tree with hardly any sound. Fung's eyes remained fastened on the moon. Moments later another silent form followed, then another, and yet more. Still he gave no outward sign of noticing this.

Overhead there came a soft hooting sound.

"TO ARMS!"

At this shout the camp sprang to life. Roosters shot from their cots or streamed from the tents, still dressed in their nightclothes but clutching weapons all the same. Tuk Luk emerged hurriedly knotting on his robe again with sword in sheathe. "What has happened?! Who goes there?!"

"I am here, sir. Lower your weapons. We mean you no harm."

The roosters spun about as someone emerged into the light of the camp's perimeter. This new figure wore light armor of good quality about his chest and helmet of similar make. Two large feathery horns rose over the top of this headgear, beneath which stared a pair of great round eyes of a startlingly vivid orange color. An eagle-owl, this newcomer examined the roosters with cool intensity. He stood at least twice their height, with a military bearing and a short curved beak suited for ripping into flesh. Despite this impression he gave all appearances of tranquility. Short spears and a round shield were strapped to his back. A stout pole was held loosely in the crook of one wing.

Tuk Luk flapped to the forefront of his followers to regard their visitor. "Who comes upon us uninvited and unannounced?!"

"I am Captain Bu Bo." He swept out a huge pinion nearly three feet long, causing several of the tax officers to jump back with weapons brandished. At his signal more owls also armed and armored as he was emerged to encircle the camp. "We are the night patrol of this region."

The head rooster raised his chin and gave a disdainful sniff. "Ah… night-flyers, is it? What business do you 'moon boys' have with us?"

"Watch your tone, 'sunny-side-up'," a voice warned from above. The tax crew only then took notice of more owls roosting in the limbs of the trees all around. The angry glare of the one who had spoken was matched by his comrades and returned by the roosters. A rather pronounced racial animosity could now be detected between these two sets of birds, one commonly associated with the sun and the other with the moon.

"Peace," Captain Bu Bo hooted tersely. "As I said, we mean you no harm." The pupils of his eyes enlarged to an astonishing degree as he surveyed the party, seeming to absorb every detail into their black depths. They lingered especially on the crocs sitting by themselves flanked by two guards. He blinked, reddish-orange eyes going back to normal before training on the canny Tuk Luk. "It is our duty to protect the roads in these parts and those who travel upon them."

"Your devotion is commendable," the tax deputy asserted with a shake of his comb. "But we are more than capable of protecting ourselves. I am Tuk Luk of the Dept. of Finance. We are tax collectors engaged in gathering tribute for this year. And we have this situation well in hand. If there is nothing else, I will bid you good evening."

"As a matter of fact, there is one other topic I do wish to discuss."

Just turning to depart, Tuk Luk slowly came back about, eyeing the military officer with thinly veiled irritation. For his part, Captain Bu Bo remained notably relaxed. He made no move, though his men were edging closer or flapping from one branch to another overhead. The roosters darted their heads nervously about trying to keep track of these nocturnal predators.

"Word has reached our ears concerning a band of misfits passing themselves off as tax collectors," the eagle-owl continued with bland indifference. "Indeed, several people have reported being attacked by these villains. The particulars change from one tale to another. Some claim they are weasels. Others insist the perpetrators are… roosters."

He let this statement hang in the air for a few moments. Before him Tuk Luk's neck feathers were puffing out in a livid display.

"But on one thing they all agree. And that is how the imposters are led… by a crocodile."

At this point every head in the camp turned towards Fung where he sat bound. As they did, to the surprise of many, he finally looked at them.

And burst into tears.

" _I didn't wanna DO IT!"_

His guards and virtually every other rooster present gaped in amazement, casting uncertain looks between one another. 'Where did that come from?' they wanted to ask. Meanwhile the croc wept and moaned tearfully, cringing as far back from his captors as the rope would allow. He threw a beseeching look at Bu Bo. "Please, master! I'm just a potter! But they made me do it! They said… if I didn't…" His head shook from side to side in terror and he thrust a trembling finger to point at little Wong. "They would _kill my infant son!"_

The midget croc noticed all eyes upon him and immediately set up a loud childish wailing. The already panicky roosters grew even more so at this cacophony. Tuk Luk appeared too furious to speak at this allegation. Just as the rooster opened his beak Bu Bo held up a restraining wing. The military officer leveled a hard look at Fung.

"If you are a potter as you say," he spoke with slow emphasis on every word that carried over Wong's bawling, "then surely you can tell me where I might go to see the best in violet sand pottery?"

"Yixing in Jiangsu Province!" Fung responded without delay.

A low hooting came from all around. Bu Bo's tufted brow twitched a little, but otherwise he gave no indication of recognizing the answer as right or wrong. Meanwhile Tuk Luk clearly had taken all he cared to of this behavior. "Now see here! We are…!"

"It so happens I hail from Quinzhou," the owl officer continued as though he had not heard. "We are quite proud of our local pottery there. Tell me, do you know its name and the type of clay used?"

Again came Fung's answer. "Nixing pottery! From a local type of red clay!"

Tuk Luk spun about. "Hold your forked tongue, reptile!" he ordered.

Those fiery sunset eyes blinked ever so slowly. At last Bu Bo turned his head to face Tuk Luk once more. "Sir, I must ask you to accompany us now. A garrison is close by. It should not inconvenience you unduly to journey there until this matter has been settled to my satisfaction."

" _Your_ satisfaction?!" The black cock stretched himself up as high as he could go, still only barely coming to the eagle-owl's beak. "Who are you to place yourself between me and my duty, you pellet-spewing country oaf! I am an officer of the imperial court! Observe!"

Tuk Luk angrily reached into his pocket and produced the colorful seal, thrusting it before Bu Bo's nose. The nocturnal hunter's great pupils dilated once again so that they seemed to absorb every inch of this artifact.

Then without taking his eyes from the object in question, he spoke. "This item is a forgery."

Tuk Luk's head jerked back. He looked at the badge, turning it round and around, before dropping it in the dirt. "Ah… wrong pocket. Pray excuse me, I'll–"

As he made to correct his error, Fung abruptly shouted, "LOOK OUT!"

At that very moment his tail whipped around to knock into the legs of a guard holding a notched bow, who staggered from the impact. The arrow fired overhead with a loud _TWANG_ , forcing an owl to dart aside. And with that…

"TO ARMS!"

"ATTACK!"

Neither side needed further excuses. Rooster and owl flew into battle. A heavy net fell from above, catching several of the tax collectors beneath its weight. Arrows went soaring upwards to be answered by short spears in return. Those eagle-owls in the air fought in pairs, one holding a small round shield in his claws to guard them both against incoming missiles while the other snatched spears from his partner's back to retaliate. The ones on the ground drew spears and staves which they wielded against the 'sunny-side-ups'. Shouts and imprecations rang through the glade. Some of the big birds swooped down and bore aloft holding the torches which they tossed away, plunging the glade into even greater gloom. Now robbed of sufficient light, the roosters found themselves at a marked disadvantage against their nocturnal opponents.

Meanwhile the three crocs had taken advantage of this conflict. Still shackled hand and foot, they managed to roll awkwardly along to seek shelter behind the prison cart. There Gahri chanced a quick peek around the edge before coming back to face his cohorts. "Okay! Now I've been working on my lock-picking for just such an occasion! All we need to do is find a small thin piece of metal, like a clasp in a lady's headband! Just give me five minutes and I think I can get one of you free! After that–!"

"Darn it, Gahri!"

This drew him up short. Yet at the same time, it made the bandit lieutenant smile with relief. For there was that old familiar frustrated glare being directed at him for the first time in what seemed like forever.

"I mean, seriously!" Fung declared in exasperation. "Have you forgotten one of the most basic perks of being a crocodile?"

So saying, he opened his jaws wide, lifted his handcuffs in and bit down _hard!_

 _CRACK!_

The timber split like cheap chopsticks between those crushing mandibles, capable of thousands of pounds of force per square inch. In moments he had shaken off the ruined implements with ease.

Gahri and Wong looked at one another as realization dawned. "Oh, yeah."

Seconds later they had done the same to their own cuffs. By this time Fung had taken care of the ones on their feet. He then held up his own stubby legs which proved out of reach of his mighty jaws. "Okay, do mine!"

The thrill of freedom caused Gahri to experience somewhat of a return to form, and he eyed his leader's bare feet with distinct unease. "Uh… you ever get that toe fungus looked at?"

" _Will you just hurry up, already?!"_

"Alright, alright!"

Liberated, the crocs obeyed a sign from their leader and dove to the ground. Together they slipped beneath the wagon out of sight of the hovering owls. Fung peered at the ongoing battle. It looked as though the night patrol was gaining the upper hand. Many of the roosters had been disarmed or caught by nets. If he waited too long the chance to escape might slip away. Already a rough plan had formed in his head. "Now listen," he began. "The first thing we need is–"

A short spear landed just an inch shy of his nose to bury in the soft turf.

"Hey, perfect!" With that he snatched it up and scuttled to the back of the wagon. A metal plate with a loop had been crudely hammered into the wood, after which the iron padlock holding the door shut was inserted. Sliding the spear's tip in between plate and plank, Fung shoved it down as far as it would go, then grasped the haft with both hands and pulled backwards with all the strength and weight of his powerful body. There came a creak of wood, and after just a few seconds the nails tore loose, sending him pitching onto his back.

The door opened. Timidly the rest of his band peered out. Almost as one, they looked to Fung to tell them what to do next. He leapt to his feet. "Sheez, guys, for real?! Get outta here!"

No further order was needed. Like eager children released from school, the prisoners came tumbling out, pausing only a moment to ascertain where the fighting was taking place, then running like mad in the opposite direction. Gahri and Wong wasted no time following. In seconds they had all disappeared into the surrounding trees, following the sound of the nearby river which promised salvation and transport. Overhead the owls were too busy concentrating on their feathered foes to notice the small group of reptiles slinking away into the shadows.

Fung made sure they were away before bringing up the rear. He raced through the trees, intent on making good his escape.

"HALT!"

It was the voice more than the command which caused his racing legs to slow, then stop. Fung did not bother turning around. He knew what awaited him.

A few yards back, Tuk Luk drew to a halt as well, sword bared. "There is no escape!" he spat, one eye swollen shut from a blow courtesy of Bu Bo. "You have cost me my dignity, my patience and my good name! Only my honor is left to me. Were it not for this I would have already cut you down where you stand, regardless of my promise to Lady Viper!"

A shiver went through the bandit's body at this name. Still without turning, Fung reached out to grasp a thick shaft of dark green bamboo growing close at hand and lean against it as though tired.

Tuk Luk approached him warily, sword at the ready. "Justice will not be denied, vile knave. You have flaunted my good nature and the law all at once. But no longer! All that awaits you is the divine justice of the imperial magistrate, and a life spent laboring in the mines! For I swear–!"

Fung spun about quickly, and in a flash Tuk Luk struck. His sword swung in a mirror bright arc of steel, and there came a dull 'thunk' sound.

At the same time a strong hand caught the rooster by the throat. He gagged as that powerful grip lifted him disbelieving off the ground. The bandit leader stood unharmed. Between them there was the bent shaft of a bamboo tree bit deep by the edge of Tuk Luk's blade, which was now stuck inside its tough green body.

Fung let go of the plant so that it sprang back into place, wrenching the weapon from the tax collector's hands as it did. He then cocked a fist back. The rooster's good eye widened. Time seemed to slow down, and his whole world shrank to be filled by the sight of a scaly punch roaring towards his face.

"BUCK-CAW!"

Captain Bu Bo turned as Tuk Luk came flying into the grove to land in a heap of feathers. Several owls flapped down to take the unconscious prisoner into custody as the fight wore down, hooting back and forth in an attempt to learn who had caught him. The only answer was a faint splash that might have come from the direction of the river.

Further downstream, Gahri perked up excitedly as Fung emerged to join him on the bank. "Fung! Oh, am I glad to see you! Listen, I'm really sorry about all this. Can you ever forgive me?"

The head thief marched by his subordinate without pause. "Think you can get everyone back to my place, Gahri?"

His tagalong turned to watch him uncertainly. "Why? You're not… coming back with us?"

"Something I gotta do first," Fung insisted. Undeterred, he strode deeper into the cover of darkness. "I'll see you if and when I get back. Don't do anything until then. I mean it, Gahri," he threw over his shoulder. "If I don't return, you guys quit banditing, you hear? Nothing personal, but you stink on your own. Okay?"

To his great surprise, the other croc found himself smiling. "Okay. You got it. You're totally right, Fung." As his captain disappeared, he yelled out, "Oh! And you're a great leader! We all think so! Me especially, now!"

"Shah! Yeah, right!" came faintly back.

It was not what many would describe as heroic parting words. Despite this, Gahri felt very grateful as he led their gang towards the grimy cellar they called home. For all its faults, there was no place he would rather be.

* * *

"VIPER?! CAN YOU PLEASE COME OUT? THERE'S SOMETHING IMPORTANT I NEED TO TELL YOU!"

His shout echoed off the mountainside and through the deserted confines of their home. Having done so, Po now waited to see the results. He stood in the main plaza of the Jade Palace on this sunny and perfectly fine afternoon. Despite it being warm out, an unpleasant chill hadn't left him since arriving. No sound reached his ears to indicate activity. Not a soul could be seen. The complex was deserted.

While he fidgeted in that deadly quiet space, his thoughts drifted back to what had led him here.

* * *

" _How do we fight one of our own?" Po wondered aloud._

" _We have Taotie's Purity Cowl," Shifu affirmed from his place by Tigress' bedside. She stirred in her sleep, and he laid his fingers on her brow in a tenderly paternal gesture; almost right away the distress subsided, allowing her to relax. The master continued to gaze at his fallen student with a grieving expression. It was clear he took her condition hard, as his voice when he spoke next was so soft as to be almost unrecognizable. "We shall attempt to take Viper unawares with it. Should this fail, the only recourse left to us will be to abandon the Jade Palace altogether."_

" _How are we supposed to even get this thing near her?" Mantis lifted one end of the object in question to examine it with a dubious eye. The length of silk, leather and copper resembled a wilted stalk of rice as it dangled from his claw. He glanced around at his cohorts. "Do we wait for her to fall asleep?"_

" _That is too arbitrary. We must try to control the situation. Considering the level of danger, our strategy must be absolutely flawless. Especially since there may not be a second chance."_

 _Shifu then unrolled a diagram of the palace on the floor. He began pointing out spots marked upon it._

" _Now, then: we must first determine her exact location. It's clear Viper is especially irritated by noise in her current condition. At noon when the sun is at its zenith, I shall use a collection of wind chimes to lure her into a prearranged area on the second floor of the palace's lower levels that is stacked with numerous flyers, posters, and other minor detritus. Once she enters, Crane will be lying in wait to initiate his Paper Storm technique."_

 _Under the brim of his hat Crane's face took on an apprehensive expression._

" _In the resulting confusion, Mantis shall pull a cord that flings open the balcony doors. At the same time Monkey and Po will be stationed on the opposite rooftop with large mirrors to catch the sunlight and direct it into the room, blinding her."_

 _Monkey raised an eyebrow at this recitation and glanced inquiringly at Mantis, who returned the gesture. Po just appeared to be having trouble keeping up._

" _Crane, you then drop an armed mannequin on a rope set up beforehand onto the balcony in a threatening position. Viper should attack it immediately, and once she does, I shall use the opportunity to come out of my hiding spot in a suit of ceremonial armor at the back of the room that has been stuffed with week-old cabbage to completely mask my scent. Taking advantage of these distractions, I then affix the Purity Cowl to her and activate it."_

 _He looked up from the diagram. "Are there any questions?"_

 _There were, in fact, many questions. However only one person took this opportunity to pose them._

" _Guys?" Po held up a hand. "If I may, I'd like to suggest something crazy."_

 _They all looked at him without any evidence of surprise. Almost as if each had been expecting something of this nature from Po. He didn't know whether to be relieved or offended when he spoke next._

" _Why don't I just ask her?"_

* * *

So now here he stood on display for all to see. Totally exposed, holding the Purity Cowl and wondering if he was going to live to see tomorrow. After a minute when nothing happened Po opened his mouth to yell again, only to stop when he caught sight of Crane waving a frantic wing over the roof of the living quarters. That meant she was coming.

Time passed slowly. The inside of his mouth felt dry, and he coughed before remembering Shifu's admonishment not to be too loud when she came. It could trigger a venom attack. Something told Po it would take a lot less than that in his case. Which only served to make him more agitated.

He glanced about. The others were all nearby. Crane was flying far overhead as a last-minute precaution. This felt like being used as live bait, but considering it was his own suggestion, he couldn't exactly complain about it. It still felt better than trying to ambush a friend. Out of all of them, he was the most suited to try. Mantis and Shifu would be needed to administer healing should things turn out bad. Monkey had already been hit by this venom once before, and while the feisty primate had argued this might make him less susceptible to it as a result, the reverse could also be true. It was not a risk Shifu felt worth exploring. And Crane acted as their emergency contingency plan. Which left only the panda; exactly how he wanted it.

Although come to think of it, the guys might have done just a little more to dissuade him. Y'know, to show they cared…

A door slid open, and Viper slithered out into the plaza.

"What is it?"

She sounded more annoyed than poisonously psychotic. Po cringed all the same. He looked at her, suddenly wondering what he was doing here. It had seemed like the simplest solution possible. If that's the case, what's holding me back?

Okay. Start with the easy stuff.

"Viper, you're not well."

A hiss so loud it cracked like a whip followed. At the same time Po very clearly heard that same odd rattling noise from back in the training hall. It made him freeze up again. Perhaps for this reason she did not initiate any attacks, only continued to watch him with narrowed eyes.

"Um… that is…" Taking a deep breath, he decided to begin again. "Listen, I know that I hurt you. I'm truly sorry for that. But right now I'm more worried about you than myself! I mean, worried that you're becoming something you won't like!"

She blew out a disgusted breath. "First Tigress, now you. What are you all blathering about, anyway? Oh, forget it!" Viper spun away in disgust. "I'm sick of this conversation already."

"Tigress…" he hesitated before asking. "Do you remember what you did to her?"

She halted. A shiver passed through Viper's frame. He thought at first she might be sad, but her voice when it came next was hoarse with anger. "I am trying very hard here, Po. You're not making it easy. I told Tigress, and I'm telling you: leave me alone. I'll talk to her when I'm good and ready. Not before."

The rattling had grown louder. It made his fur stand on end. Po had to force himself to continue. "She asked me to help you. So that's what I'm going to do." He then held up the Cowl. "This is for you."

The green serpent cast a look back to examine his offering. Her eyes traveled along its length. Slowly Viper came about and began to approach him.

"It's made to help you," he insisted as she drew closer. "Viper, there's something… happening to you that I don't think you're aware of. If it continues, you'll wind up hurting people without even realizing it… maybe even killing them. I know you would never want that. So please, before this gets out of hand, let me help you. Please!"

His scaly ally halted a ways off. Her tongue flicked out to taste the air, and her nose wrinkled in distaste. "Taotie!" Viper snarled, eyes flaring with rage. _"He_ made that, didn't he?" She reared back as though preparing to strike. "What are you trying to do to me?!"

"Viper, I would never hurt you!"

"Don't you _dare_ patronize me!" She began circling around him now, forcing Po to turn to keep her in sight. "What is this, another one of your childish games?! Do you think I'll play along so you can humiliate me again?! As if I'd ever trust you!" she spat.

"It's not a game."

On instinct Po went to his knees. Even seeing what became of Tigress, he hadn't expected Viper to be so _angry._ It made him afraid; not for his own safety, but for her sake. In all the time they spent together he had never seen this level of hostility from the normally cheerful reptile. It was a shock. And this more than anything drove home just how horribly he had wronged her. Whatever his reasons, the anguish Viper was experiencing derived from his shortsighted and inept actions. Because of him, she was being taken over by something dreadful that could easily ruin her whole life. That realization granted him a sense of calm purpose.

 _I won't let it happen_ , he silently promised.

"Viper. I can't make this easy. I can't even promise it will succeed." He bent down to lay the Purity Cowl on the ground as she prowled around him. "This thing was made by Tatotie at Oogway's request. I don't know how it works. If you want to try it on me, be my guest. I won't resist."

Po turned his head to look straight at her then, and Viper went still. The serious expression he wore carried no worry, shame or threat of any kind. It was as foreign to his normal laid-back character as rage was to her, enough to give Viper pause.

"You have to do what you know is right. And however justified you are for being mad at me, I think a part of you realizes what's going on, even if you don't know how to stop it. This doesn't fix what I did to you. But it might keep things from getting any worse. You're the best person I know, Viper." He blinked, and tears ran down his cheeks. "I know you'll do what's right."

Those watching this discussion held their breath. The air was charged with a tension that made hearts beat with dreadful anticipation. Viper and Po continued to stare at one another.

The rattling from before diminished slightly.

"Po," Viper whispered. Her body was shaking. There was a look of utter dread on her face when she said, _"Hurry!"_

He didn't question. Po bent down and picked up the Cowl before quickly placing it on Viper just as Shifu had instructed. The copper ribs encircled her body. He positioned the leather hood with the last quartz node right at her temple. The whole time he could feel her trembling. It cost him that sense of calm, making his own hands shudder clumsily. _Hurry!_ No telling what that really meant or how much this was costing her. Please don't let it be too late!

With that Po flipped the switch.

All along its length the Cowl contracted until it fit around Viper like a second skin. At the same time each quartz node was squeezed in their copper housing. The marbles began to glow faintly white. Both fan blades swept open to frame her head like a lizard's frill, and a high-pitched whine cut through the air.

Viper stiffened. A gasp burst from her lips. Eyes flung wide, she stared at the sky, breathing wildly in and out. She let out a cry, then another. Po was horrified. "Master Shifu!" he hollered, looking about frantically for aid. As he did, Viper's head snapped around to look right at his face.

Upon seeing him, her eyes shrank to slits.

A scream of wordless rage burst from the serpent's mouth. Po recoiled in shock and fell to scramble a few paces off. He saw Shifu and the rest of the Five racing towards them, but in that moment a sound made him go still. The rattling had returned, only louder and more heart-stopping. Po clutched his ears to try and block it out.

The Cowl's blades had set up a buzzing like a horde of angry wasps. Before him Viper suddenly reared back. Her tail struck out and lanced into the quartz gem atop her forehead. There came a flash of something like lightning, followed by a cry of pain and fury on her part. When Po reached for her, his arm suddenly went numb to flop uselessly against his side like a fish.

Terrified, he saw the rest of them approach only to fall back when Viper rose again. As he watched, an eerie black aura emerged over her body. The crystals had gone red, glittering like rubies all along her spine. She hissed a sound of primal threat such that everyone nearby drew away on pure instinct.

Without warning the quartz band near her tail popped like a bean thrown into boiling oil. A second later the next in line followed. Then another, and another. That lethal black energy rising off her grew larger with every one. At last the seventh chakra node exploded. The fan blades went limp, but that horrible rattling had reached a fevered pitch in the manner of a mad bee bouncing back and forth against the sides of a jar.

Shifu sprang forward to tear the Cowl from Viper in a single swift movement. A shout of pain followed, and he flung away the ruined implement as though it were on fire, falling to clutch his arm. Now freed, Viper coiled and thrashed in a mad frenzy, hissing nonstop.

Then Crane dove in and scooped her up in his claws. He spread his wings and beat aloft before anyone could stop him.

"CRANE, WAIT!" Po screamed.

The bird ignored him. It was hard to keep a firm grip the way she was squirming. All the same he hurtled towards the top of the mountain. He knew he had to get her as far away as possible. That was his role in the plan. But if he went too high off the ground, and she poisoned him without thinking, they would both fall to their deaths.

"Don't worry, Viper," Crane gasped. "I'll take you somewhere safe! Just hold on and we'll find a way to hel–!"

 _ **hisssSTRIKE!**_

His pinions folded up. Spinning round and round, the winged master dropped limply towards the stone far below. In his claws the serpent wriggled loose. Using Crane's body for support, she coiled against him and then launched herself out with stunning force. Her redirected descent caused Viper to smash into the roof of the Hall of Warriors at the very heights of the Jade Palace.

Meanwhile Crane plummeted earthward. In response a golden blur sped up the stairs and launched itself into the air to catch the unconscious avian. Monkey landed awkwardly to go rolling up the steps, trying all the while to use his body as a shield. At last they came to a halt. Without waiting to check on either of their health, the frantic simian picked up Crane and raced back down the mountain. He didn't dare look back. Experience told him that unless he reached Shifu and Mantis in time, his friend might…

 _ **hisssSTRIKE!**_

 _Not again,_ was the last thing Monkey thought clearly, moments before he pitched in a graceless heap to roll down the rest of the way.

Shifu ran up to them with Mantis close at hand already spreading out his acupuncture needles. "Start with Monkey!" he ordered the insect medic. "I will help Crane!" With that he began to move his hands over the limp form, summoning his own living energy in an attempt to halt the spread of malignant _chi_ coursing through the bird's body.

Behind them Po stood in mute shock. He watched the two healers tend to their charges. His whole body felt numb. Both of them, just like that. It was so fast. So viciously _fast_.

The world seemed to go gray all around him. Everything lost color, even his friends. But when he looked at his own hands they appeared to be limned with a vibrant golden light. While this took place, however, Shifu's body started to gain an orange glow around the edges. This coalesced in his palms which he drew in rhythmic patterns across the unmoving Crane. Eerie lines of lurid scarlet were spreading out from the area around the bird's heart. The same was happening for Monkey. Where Mantis placed his needles the lines stopped spreading to instead form glowing red orbs that pulsed eerily.

A sharp hissing caused Po's head to jerk up. On the roof of the Jade Palace he could make out a small figure amid smashed tiles. In the sky above it, however, something huge now loomed. It was without a doubt a serpent, with coils so huge it could crush mountains. This supernatural form hung over the Valley of Peace like a cloud of smoke, red eyes burning down upon them all. The tip of its tail was shaped strangely, resembling a cluster of berries grouped together side by side. When it shook, that deadly rattling sound came again in a hollow peal of thunder that filled his bones with terror.

Atop the palace roof, Master Viper slithered down. She hopped nimbly off to alight at the very top of the steps. There she watched them huddled far below her. For a moment Po feared she might strike them all down from that distance.

Instead she simply turned and slithered out of sight to enter the Hall of Warriors. The doors swung shut behind her.

"Po!"

He twitched, and the world came back into full color around him. The image of the sky serpent faded as well. When the panda looked down, his teacher threw him a tired look.

"Help us get them somewhere safe."

* * *

The sound of Crane's groaning roused Monkey to full wakefulness. He took note of his fellow warrior laid out on a pallet near his own. Still alive. Any relief he felt upon realizing this was short-lived, as his own condition took that moment to make itself inarguably evident.

 _Well, so much for developing an immunity to Viper's venom_ , he thought bleakly.

"Monkey? Oh, sweet, you're awake! Master Shifu! He's awake!"

Po danced up and beckoned the other upright members of their diminished group over. Shifu knelt to examine Monkey critically. "Can you speak?"

"Muh… budu… hets… mi…"

The Dragon Warrior cocked his head. "Did he just say his body hates him?"

"Yeah, that's the same way he described it before," Mantis supplied evenly while checking the placement of several needles in Crane. Once satisfied he sprang over and went about doing the same for his other patient. "Viper's venom is no picnic, that's for sure. Of course, the way things are going," he tapped a needle or two and nodded in satisfaction, "we'll all know what that's like real soon."

"Our efforts have only served to make the problem worse." Shifu picked up his staff and rose to examine the remains of his elite team of kung fu experts. Tigress continued to sleep, while Crane and Monkey both looked as though they could only pray for oblivion. "We no longer have any counter or method for safely dealing with Viper. Our only recourse is to flee." He looked to Po. "Panda, you are to return to the village and recruit anyone willing and able who can help us carry our comrades to safety." He indicated where the three masters lay abed. "Mantis and I will remain here to tend to them. Once they are safely away, we will conduct the evacuation of the Valley of Peace."

"What about Viper?" the Dragon Warrior demanded. "You saw! She wanted our help! It's not too late to save her, I'm sure of it!"

"There is nothing more we can do for her. After the residents have been led to safety, we shall journey to inform the other masters of this development. Together we can then hopefully devise a strategy that will prevent any loss of life." Looking drained and bone-weary, Shifu tottered over to check on Crane again. "You have your orders, Panda. Now go."

Uncertain, Po shuffled his feet before proceeding towards the door that led outside. He looked up at the sky. The sun was heading towards the horizon. This day had gone by in a blur. He stared at that molten golden orb hovering over the mountains.

Then he looked down at his own hands.

Whatever I can do, I must.

He rounded on his colleagues. "Master Shifu, I want to try and stop Viper."

Shifu looked back at him. "This is no time for heroics, Dragon Warrior. There is nothing you can accomplish other than what you have already done. Do not underestimate just how dangerous she has become."

He shook his head. "I don't believe that. Like you said, I'm the Dragon Warrior. Viper's power comes from her _chi,_ right? Well, I've got a lot of _chi_ too!"

"Po, you are not an advanced practitioner of _chi!_ You do not know how to employ it to achieve the result you desire." The fierce little sage rose to stump angrily over and stand before his disciple. " _Chi_ is no miracle power that answers your every call. It is the very essence of life! And Viper's power destroys life!"

"But it's still _chi,_ right?" the big fighter insisted. "Maybe I can use mine to neutralize the poison completely and give her a chance to heal!"

Shifu sagged against his staff. "Please do not attempt this," he muttered in utmost weariness. "One more loss might be more than we can bear."

"Yeah, plus it would be impossible for us to haul you back here if it doesn't work," Mantis called out from his bedside duties.

Looking between them both, Po knelt and placed a hand on Shifu's shoulder. "Master, I feel in my heart that this is right. This whole mess is partly my fault. And I won't let anyone else get hurt just because I screwed up."

After a short silence, Mantis rubbed his antennae tiredly. "Fine. But let me find another pallet to roll out. Just in case," he threw over his shoulder before bouncing off.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Po called.

He stood back up and turned to leave, but something caught his eye. On the floor nearby there lay Crane's hat. Picking it up, he settled it over his ears. "Okay," he declared with a self-assured glower. "Now I'm ready!"

* * *

In town at the base of the Jade Palace, there was a growing sense of urgency. When the families of the palace attendants came down it brought no explanation. None of them knew why they were asked to leave. After they were joined by their loved ones earlier that morning, some hoped to learn what might have caused this turn of events. Instead they were met with tight-lipped silence. Even the normally hen-pecked Zeng clammed up when his wife put the screws to him in order to find out what this might portend. And while doing so might have been intended to keep everyone from panicking, in truth it only served to add fuel to the impression that something had gone seriously wrong.

Around noontime, that pall of imminent doom grew stronger. Since then you could not look at the Jade Palace high atop its peak without feeling distinctly unsettled. Things only got worse when some children started crying about seeing a giant snake in the sky. A few elderly residents insisted they could see the same thing. While many scoffed at such tales as mere moonshine, in short order fear leeched into their hearts. There was no reason; it was simply there. Because of this many shops closed their doors early. Only Mr. Ping remained open, despite customers being nowhere to be found.

The townsfolk huddled in their homes as the sun started to go down. With the fall of night their terrors would only grow more pronounced. Parents hugged their children and whispered reassurances they themselves did not feel. Fear lay heavy on the land.

Reclining on a tree stump at the edge of town sat a blind old bunny with a ghu zheng across his lap. This lone musician remained unaware or unconcerned about the foreboding presence that now held sway in the Valley of Peace. After tuning his instrument properly, he lifted his sightless head, as though waiting for some sign to begin.

Over the crest of a hill there appeared a solitary figure. As he passed by, the bunny asked, "Pay to hear a song, stranger?"

The traveler stopped. "Sorry, Gramps. I don't have any money."

"No trouble," the musician shrugged good-naturedly. "Ask for one anyway. You can pay later if it's good. What would you like to hear?"

His audience looked up towards the heights of the Jade Palace. "Make it a love song, then."

The rabbit grinned. "Ah, yes. Love does uplift us towards where we long."

And so saying, he began to play.

Accompanied by this tune, Fung the Croc Bandit strode determinedly into the village. His face was set in a grim mask, as though preparing to fight off whatever armies might rise to bar his path. However no such opposition presented itself. His walk down the empty center street went unchallenged, and he kept his eyes fixed towards the mountain peak.

The music carried along in his wake. And where he passed, people peered from their homes in wonder at this heroic individual who disregarded the malaise which lay upon them all. It served to make them bolder. Some actually crept forth to watch him go or even followed a respectful distance behind. If anyone recognized him, they made not a bit of outcry. Fung paid them no mind either way. By the time he reached the steps leading to his goal there was a small crowd at his back. They dared not follow any further, only watched as that brave soul began to make the climb towards the Jade Palace.

All the while, a love song drove him onward.

* * *

Po glanced down. "Is the rope really necessary?"

After securing the knot around his foot Mantis glanced up. "Heck yeah, it is. Not like it'll trip you up since there's no way to dodge this attack anyway. And if you do get hit, neither of us can risk going in there to pull you out. Are you even sure Viper's still inside?"

The panda closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them everything was gray again. Overhead there hung that same horrible serpent shadow enshrouding them all. "I'm sure." He looked forward to the gate leading into the Hall of Warriors. Behind it lay a battle like none he had ever known, one that pitted him against a cherished friend.

"From this point onward, you are on your own, Po," Shifu spoke beside him. "From what we saw earlier, it appears Viper's range has increased dramatically. The moment you step foot inside she may strike you down. Be ready to engage instantly."

"Understood." He examined his hands, once again outlined with sparkling golden flames. If ever I needed to be the Dragon Warrior for real, it's now. Please let this work out. Po then dipped the brim of his hat low. "I'm going in."

So saying he stepped forth and pushed the red doors open.

It should have been a relief when no immediate attack came forth. Instead Po felt a shiver go up his spine. To his otherworldly gaze, the interior of the Hall of Warriors was besieged by shadows. They surged formless and unrestrained over every pillar and stretch of wall. The only color came from far back along the chamber's length, where a bright red glow pulsed in front of the Moon Pool. Below the dimmed golden dragon statue at the heart of this menacing aura there sat Viper coiled in upon herself.

The shadows danced around her. When he took his first step in, a hiss sounded that drew Po up short. Somehow he could see very clearly despite the great distance that separated them. Viper rested her head upon her coils. Her pupils were now mere slits that reminded him of snake fangs. All the same they watched him intently.

He took another step. The rattle sounded to warn him. Undeterred, Po continued on, his slow movements now transformed into passive forms of martial arts training. His slippers made not a sound as he crossed the polished jade floor. Every breath he took felt laden with threat. He tried not to let this intimidate him. The panda's large body swayed fluidly in what he hoped was a precursor towards the unlocking of _chi._ And perhaps in response to his need, the golden aura around him did grow noticeably brighter. Its light dispelled the hovering phantasms backwards to an extent, thought they still lurked silently on the periphery of his presence.

As he drew nearer Viper lifted her head. She swayed from side to side in counterpoint to his form without speaking a word. Dark forms leapt about their queen, a court of shadows. _Leave now,_ they seemed to insist. The epitome of a snake's threat watched this being of light as it entered her domain.

She still hasn't attacked, Po thought. Should I make the first move? I don't even know how! Do I need to shout to activate _chi_ or what? Is there a secret command? Like maybe _DANGER!_

 _ **hisssSTRIKE!**_

"SHAKA-BOOIE!"

From Viper there sprang a spear of dark smoke in the shape of a serpent with red eyes. Alerted by some sixth sense, Po was already moving without further thought. He thrust his arms forward with a trademark cry, releasing a surge of blazing energy that raced down the hall to meet this lightning-fast attack head-on!

Right before they connected, the _chi_ venom altered. Instead of proceeding in a straight line it became a swirling vortex that wound over and under his energy beam like a strangling vine wrapping around a tree. The golden lance flew on to pass harmlessly over Viper's head, and locked in his stance, Po could only gawk as the shadow serpent crossed the remaining space between them in an instant and lunged for his face with jaws agape. _No, wait, it can't end like–!_

Mantis and Shifu stiffened as between one moment and the next Po simply flopped over to one side and lay still as death.

When nothing further happened they began hauling on the rope. Even with the two of them, it was not easy going. But after some truly impassioned effort that sack of black and white deadweight started to slide towards them. After a few seconds of frantic straining Po was once more brought into the waning dusk. Shifu moved to shut the doors. In doing so, he caught a glimpse of Viper resuming her nestled seat at the end of the hall.

"Oh, boy, c'mon!" Mantis gritted as he sprang over the unresponsive panda's back with a clutch of needles in one claw. "C'mon, Po, don't do this, I was only kidding around! Just breathe, okay? C'mon, _breathe!"_

Despair threatened to swamp Shifu upon seeing the mighty Dragon Warrior gone slack with eyes shut and mouth half open. Instead of giving in he threw himself into his work, mustering whatever mastery lay to him while striving to keep this frustrating and amazing boy from succumbing to death.

A minute later he was rewarded by a huge lungful of air as Po's eyes blinked blearily open only to immediately close. There then followed a tremendous groan from the very depths of his belly. "Uhhh-mi… dead?"

"No. You're alive."

"Well, that was certainly scary." The insect acupuncturist began plucking out the tools of his trade one by one. He tried and failed to keep a tremor out of his voice. "Now I hate to raise the white flag, but between you and me, it's time to go. Pack up your things and hit the trail. Last call, everybody out, the fat rooster has crowed. No, seriously, Po, can you stand? Because we need to leave before she comes looking for Round 2. Come on, up we go."

Mantis hopped off as Po made an effort to rise which converted into rolling on his back. While admittedly an improvement, it was still a far cry from where they wanted to be. Each master grabbed one of his paws and attempted to pull the big fighter into a sitting position. They made it about a quarter of the way before gravity noticed what they were doing and promptly shut them down, leaving Po spread out staring at the darkening sky.

"What do we do now?" Mantis asked. "We can't move him far, but I'm afraid bringing more people from the village will only provoke Viper."

"It is a risk we will have to take." Shifu stroked his beard in agitated concentration while gazing at the recumbent Po. "I should never have agreed to this, but it's too late for self-recrimination now. You go down and bring some of the larger palace staff. I'll stay and do what I can for him."

"Gu-u-ys?" Po slurred thickly beside them. "What time 'sit? Cuz I see the sun comin' out."

They both studied him in mingled confusion and reproach. However before Shifu could begin relaying further orders he felt a light touch on his hand. Looking down he saw Mantis indicating at something behind him.

When he turned, it was to find Fung standing at the top of the stairs.

The croc looked between them. Then he sagged forward and put both hands on his knees.

"Darn it! Why do… you have… so many… _stairs?!"_

Po's head lifted to one side as he heard this voice. "Fung? Izzat you?"

After a few gasping breaths, the bandit chieftain drew himself upright and came striding forward. "Don't try to stop me, Po! I'm here to see Viper! And there's nothing you can do about it!"

In truth Po hadn't made any sort of effort to impede him. Shifu and Mantis exchanged a quick glance. "Fung," the master of the Jade Palace began, "you've come at a poor time. Viper cannot be approached now. If you will help us carry Po down to the village, I can offer you–"

"Save it!" Fung gave a curt gesture as he came marching up. "The only person I'm interested in talking to is Viper. Is she in there? I'll bet she is! Stand aside!"

" _Wait!"_

There was no waiting, however. Before the shocked martial artists could react Fung had crossed the courtyard and flung open the doors of the Hall of Warriors. "Viper, I–!"

 _ **hisssSTRIKE!**_

He got three steps in before pitching forward to land flat on his stomach. The other two stared at him lying there.

"Uhhh," Mantis coughed. "You want we should try and get him out?"

In response Shifu only continued to stare.

 _Oh, boy,_ Mantis thought. _Did he get hit too? This just gets worse and worse and…_

"Darn it!"

His head whipped around, and Mantis blinked in disbelief. Before them Fung had risen from the floor and was dusting himself off.

"Ugh," the crocodile muttered, readjusting his helmet. "Sorry, think I blacked out there. Didn't get any sleep last night." He then started walking forward once more. ""Definitely need a nap when this is over. Yeah, so anyway, as I was saying…"

 _ **hisssSTRIKE!**_

Again he fell to lie motionless. Not five seconds later, though, Fung was back on his feet. "I'm here because you and I have got some things to talk about. For starters…"

 _ **hisssSTRIKE!**_

Down, and up again. "Let's get honest. I'm a bandit leader. Not a very good one, I'll admit, but I'm getting better. And yes, I rob people, but…"

 _ **hisssSTRIKE!**_

"… that's not the only thing about me! Any more than you're just a martial artist! Because I'm also a trained potter, and you're a trained dancer, so right there's two things…"

 _ **hisssSTRIKE!**_

"… that we can both get along with just fine about each other! And another thing…!"

Fung continued in his broken but undaunted march down the hall towards Viper, who remained twisted into a mound of concentrated venom before the Moon Pool. Meanwhile, Mantis had managed to look away from this impossible sight long enough to ask a very pertinent question. "What's going on?"

Shifu could not take his eyes off what was transpiring. "I… don't know."

"So I like to burn stuff. Big deal! Maybe it makes my clothes smell and my nails can get super dirty…"

 _ **hisssSTRIKE!**_

FLOP! "…but darn it, I think it makes me better at cooking!"

"No, seriously," Mantis insisted. "How is he _doing_ that? And more importantly, can he keep it up? Because we didn't have a chance to tie the rope on him!"

Slowly his teacher's eyes grew wide. "He is using Master Oogway's technique!"

"Say what now?"

"… of girls would be thrilled to have a guy who can cook! And my second cousin Siwang Yenshen sent me a recipe book for my last birthday, so I'm trying some new stuff out and…"

 _ **hisssSTRIKE!**_

"I don't see how else to explain it," Shifu continued in a marveling manner. "Fung is cold-blooded as well, so there is that, but all the same… I have no idea how he knows what to do! Or even if that is what he is doing! For all we know, it could be something completely different but still just as effective."

"Sun's lookin' kinda ellilip… elongongong… like an egg."

Neither of them paid any attention to Po's addlepated ramblings. He continued to stare up at the twilight sky. What he saw there seemed to lend itself towards hallucinations. For now in the heavens, not only was there the giant demon snake, but also a huge glowing orb that did indeed look rather like an egg. The monstrous reptile was striving to swallow it. But every time it did, the snake's jaws went right through the egg without any resistance. Furious, the venomous beast sought again and again to consume the heavenly body to no avail. And with each failed attempt, the monster grew smaller.

Po squinted up at this mythological battle. Funny, if I look closely, it almost seems like there's a crocodile inside the egg meditating atop a lotus pod. Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle…

Back on earth, Fung had crossed the entire length of the shadowy palace to stand directly before Viper, who stared up at him with the eyes of a killer.

"And when you get right down to it, I am a bad guy, but I'm not a bad boyfriend…!"

 _ **hisssSTRIKE!**_

He fell backwards and rose still talking. "… or maybe… I'm a bad boyfriend, but not a bad guy? Anyway, what I mean is…"

 _ **hisssSTRIKE!**_

"… that no matter what I did in the past, it doesn't…

 _ **hisssSTRIKE!**_

"… change the way you make me feel! I lo–"

 _ **HISSSSTRIKE!**_

"…Lov–"

 _ **HISSSSSSSTRIKE!"**_

"… _LOVE_ you…!"

 _ **HISSSTRIKE! HISSSTRIKE! HISSSTRIKE!**_

"And if you don't feel the same way about me, fine! But you are the best thing that's ever happened to me! If you send me to jail, I'll break out and come back! If you beat me up, I'll heal and be waiting for more! I can't speak for everybody, but as far as I'm concerned, love doesn't just pop out of a fortune cookie! So when you find it, you jump straight in and don't ask questions!"

 _ **hisssSTRIKE!**_

"Now let's get into what I really like about you. First off, your eyes are beautiful. They make me happy I'm not blind so I can see them each and every day! I wanna learn how to paint just so I can try and fail to match them on a canvas!"

 _ **hisss**_ _STRIKE!_

"I could watch you dance all day! When you're spinning and twirling I forget if I'm hungry and sometimes I have to remind myself to breathe! I always go away wanting to see more of it!"

 _hisssSTRIKE!_

"And you're so confident about yourself! Which makes sense, because you're gifted in so many ways the rest of us can only wish for. But you never flaunt it! And that brings me to how classy you are!"

* * *

It went on like this for hours. A long, rambling, drawn-out monologue that nonetheless managed to remain on track. Fung never ran out of breath. Whether argument or accolade, he always had more to say on the topic.

Viper kept right on attacking him with her _chi_ venom. But whenever she did he always picked himself up and kept right on talking. And after a while, she began to need more time to recover between assaults. They started to lose their potency, so that Fung would only go to his knees. Then just one knee bent. Shortly after that it only made him sway dizzily. Or shake his head.

"Okay. That's all I wanted to say. Anything you want to tell me?"

Dawn was only a few hours off. In front of him, Viper lay panting. Completely spent, she gazed up at Fung in a glassy half-focused manner. Her pupils were fluctuating from normal to slits.

Outside, Po watched as the smoke serpent made one last desperate effort to bite the cosmic egg in half. Before it could even reach its target the monster broke into pieces that dissolved away with a faint wail. Relieved, he finally fell asleep.

Inside the Hall of Warriors, Viper's eyes had gone back to normal. Moments later they closed as her head sank against her coils in exhausted slumber.

"Oh… you're tired. Guess it is kinda late. I'll just go, then."

Fung swung about and headed back the way he came. Upon exiting the building he found Mantis and Shifu sleeping against Po's soft bulk. "You guys are gonna catch a cold if you're not careful." Having said his piece, the croc started off towards home.

Halfway to the stairs, he hit the ground and was out like a light one second later.

* * *

Fung came to under several blankets with a very comfortable pillow propped beneath his head. The air felt warm, probably owing to a charcoal brazier nearby. A good kind of weariness pervaded his limbs as though he had woken after completing a project that had cost him several days' rest. It would have been nice to go right back to sleep without any cares.

"Fung? Are you awake?"

He turned his head to find Viper right beside him. It made him smile. "Hey, you," he managed to groan.

"Finally. I was really getting worried there." She removed a warm cloth from a dish and squeezed out any excess moisture between her tail. "Do you want something to eat?"

He gave a negative shake. "Nah. Not hungry."

"Really? That's a surprise. You've been asleep for five days."

Fung blinked in confusion. "Why?"

"You came down with something. We all did, actually. Well, everyone except Mantis and Master Shifu. I wasn't affected as badly as the rest, so after two days I started taking care of everyone." Viper pressed the cloth against his forehead. "Whatever it was, I'm willing to bet you picked it up from slogging back here after breaking out of prison."

This last statement helped clear his mind of any lingering fog. Fung had half convinced himself that whole business of Gahri and the boys getting captured and him exposing his secret to free them was all some kind of awful fever dream. It certainly sounded bad enough to qualify. Now he found the nightmare was real, which meant he might be dreaming yet again. Hope it lasts a good long while.

When she began ladling some soup into a bowl, he finally got the nerve to speak. "Hey, Viper?"

"Yes?" She didn't look back at him.

"I'm a bandit."

Her tail stilled. "I know."

Well, that settles that. "I know I shouldn't have done what I did. But I think I was ready to quit banditry anyway. Only when you showed up I forgot about it. That is to say, when we were together, I had to be somebody else. Being a bandit wouldn't work then. Either way, though, I was still Fung. As a bandit or not. Y'know what I'm saying?"

"I'll say no and chalk it up to the illness." She came around with a bowl held out to him. "Are you sure you're not hungry?"

He considered the question more thoroughly this time. "Actually, come to think of it, I feel like I haven't eaten in days."

"I'll leave it here for you, then. It's time I got around to the others." She wrapped her tail around the handle of a low-riding cart with the soup and several bowls stacked on it. "We can talk again when you're feeling better."

Fung realized there was certainly a great deal they would have to discuss. Not just what she expected from him, or whether she planned to turn him over to the authorities. More immediate stuff. Like, for example…

"Hey, where am I, anyway? This doesn't look like your room."

"Actually, it's Po's. I couldn't keep you in my quarters. That would get people talking."

"Right. Can't have that." Something else occurred to him as she headed out the door. "So if I'm in here, then where's Po?"

Viper turned and smiled at him as she grasped the doorframe. "I put him in Tigress' room. She's sleeping in mine. Pleasant dreams, Fung."

With that the door slid shut, and he was alone.

Tigress' room?

Bummer.

* * *

 _Po-o-o-o! PO-O-O-O-O-O!_

The panda lay on his back wide-eyed and clutching the blanket in terror. All around him, the heads stared down in unblinking fixation.

 _Join us, Po!_ they whispered in their ghostly voices. _We've been waiting for you. There's a space on the wall that's just your size! Po-o-o-o! PO-O-O-O-O-O!_

Still too weak to move, he could only tuck the blanket around his head to try and drown them out.

Worst… sick day… _ever!_

* * *

"So Fung doesn't remember anything that happened that night?" Crane asked as he placed a Go tile on the board.

"Nope." Monkey examined the arrangement of black and white discs with shrewd intensity. "Whatever he did to save Viper will have to remain a mystery. Although Po was going on about sky snakes swallowing eggs. I think that's partly the reason she stuck him in Tigress' quarters." He positioned his own tile and declared triumphantly, "Checkmate!"

"Can't we play a game that we both know the rules for?" Convalescing on a bench in the morning sunlight, the two friends were looking for new ways to stay entertained that didn't involve physical activity. Considering that both still felt opening a door to be a Herculean task, it was necessary to look to previously unexplored options. Crane made his next move. "What do you think happened in the end?"

"I don't think," Monkey responded with a grin. "It's not necessary to know everything, after all. Let the universe have some secrets, that's my philosophy! Maybe Fung is secretly a kung fu prodigy. Maybe that stupid cap of his is magic and protects him from harm." He placed one finger against his nose and gave a snort. A tile popped out of the opposite nostril and landed in a clear space on the board. "Or maybe it was love!"

His opponent made a sour face. "Disgusting. Not the 'love' bit, I mean your playing strategy. I'll be very glad when we can get back to beating on each other as nature intended. How lucky is Tigress to already be up and about?"

"More like natural fortitude. Weak creatures like you and me can only look forward to maybe another week of sick leave! I plan to spend it taking a well-deserved vacation."

"Try it and Master Shifu will cripple you for real." Crane smacked down his tile with a flourish. "Crown me!"

After studying his altered position, Monkey looked up with a grin. "No take-backs!"

"My feather's still on it, _my_ _feather's still on it!"_

* * *

Tigress walked along with Viper at her side, a slim case tucked under one arm. The forest was peaceful as they trekked towards their destination.

"He'll be able to move around soon," the striped feline stated at last.

Viper did not need to ask whom she meant. "So it seems."

Tigress threw a cautious look down at her. "Have you decided what you're going to do with him?"

The dancing master considered this. "Perhaps I'm thinking of keeping him around to satisfy any personal cravings? You know, like if I want a perfectly matched set of rice bowls to go with my new teapot."

This earned a smile as the other girl pushed away some branches. "I'm happy you're talking to me again."

"You make it sound like I might have quit talking to you altogether. I hope you don't think so little of me as a person."

"No. But it still hurt."

"Just enough to make you regret it, I hope."

Tigress decided to try something risky. "And do you regret meeting him?"

No answer came back, which was all the answer she needed. After a while, Viper said, "I think I see it."

Her partner looked ahead. "Ah. You're right."

They reached a house set back in the woods. Far from any neighbors and isolated enough to prevent anyone from snooping about, this two-story cottage had some rather odd-looking implements littered about its yard. Tigress and Viper approached the front door where they knocked together, grinning at each other while doing so.

The door opened, and Bian Zao looked at both of them. "Oh, hey. Girls," he stated without interest.

"Here." Tigress presented him with the box. "Master Shifu says thanks for the loan of this."

He accepted and opened the lid, raising an eyebrow as he did. "Wow," was all he had to say in that regard. Then to the ladies, "You want some tea, or something?"

"We're good," Viper asserted with a cheerful smile. "Have a nice day!"

"Yeah. Right back at you."

The Jade Palace fighters left without another word. Bian Zao watched them go for a while longer, then went back inside and closed the door. "Hey, Dad! They broke it!"

"WHAT?!"

As they picked their way through the woods Viper finally asked something that had been bothering her. "What was that thing, anyway?"

Tigress gave a disinterested shrug. "Oh, just something that didn't work as planned. The usual."

* * *

The day had arrived. Fung stepped out onto the patio and took a deep lungful of the early morning air. Might be the last chance as a free croc. Gotta make it count. He then looked down to where Po, Master Shifu, and the Furious Five stood waiting for him in the courtyard. The croc took off his helmet and rubbed the back of his head.

"So what now? Are you gonna send me to jail or what? I still haven't heard anything about it."

"The choice is not ours to make," Shifu announced.

The small group parted, and Viper slithered forth. The sight of her made his knees tremble. He'd been okay with it up 'til this point. Only there was no more need to delay. He was recovered from that unnamed illness and ready to travel. The question remained: would it be back home, or to an imperial mine for the next twenty odd years?

I always knew it might happen. At the very least I got to see her again.

Fung hopped down off the raised patio and joined the woman he loved. He got down on one knee before her. Just to be closer.

Viper looked up at him. She wasn't smiling, but nor did she appear sad. Fung gazed into sky-blue eyes with green irises like lily pads floating on a pond. That's a sight I'll remember to my dying day.

"Leave."

Huh?

She turned away from him. "You're free to leave, Fung. Go wherever you will. Just don't ever let me catch you breaking the law again."

The knot in his stomach unclenched with relief. She's letting me go! I'm free! Get moving while the coast is clear!

This was what he thought. Instead Fung found himself saying, "But I love you."

Her head dipped with a sigh and shook from side to side. "It's over, Fung. Whatever we had is gone. And whatever we wanted can never be. That's a fact you'll have to accept. For both our sakes."

His lips pursed, brow furrowed in agitation. "You really think you're never gonna see me again?"

"Not in any capacity that means something."

The way she spoke sounded so cold. It made him yearn for the way she used to wrap herself around his neck and squeeze so tightly he could have blacked out. That fire and joy was absent now. Because of me? Probably. Just one more thing I've messed up in my life. I'm a loser. Nothing new about that. A loser to the bitter end.

One who was loved by a good… no, make that a _great_ lady.

And to Fung's surprise, he realized he felt glad about that.

"Viper, I meant every word I said to you."

She flinched a little. Farther back Mantis looked quickly at Shifu, who simply frowned at Fung a little but did not press him for a further explanation.

"So believe me when I say that we will meet again. And you might just be surprised at how much a guy like me can change! Like, in an impressive way, not that I get fat or I grow a mustache or anything like that."

A sound that might have been a laugh came from her then. Still Viper wouldn't look at him. Instead Po took this opportunity to chime in. "Actually, if that's the case, this might help you along." So saying he lobbed a pouch towards Fung, who reached up and caught it. "That's what came in from selling your stuff at the festival. A few of the other craftsmen took charge of things and my Dad made sure we got the proceeds. Minus a finder's fee, of course."

Fung looked in the bag. His eyes widened. "Whoa. This much?"

"Yeah," Po confirmed. "You know, it might turn out to be a profitable little business if you let it. A lot more than this whole 'lawbreaker' angle you've been trying."

The croc laced up the ties and attached it to his waist. "Thanks, Po." Then, to the Fearsome Five plus Shifu. "And hey, thanks to you guys, for letting us have our time together."

Shifu raised his chin with a knowing smirk. "And our gratitude goes out to you as well, Master Bandit."

"Tch! 'Master Bandit'?" He puffed out his chest a little. "Sounds good. 'Bandit Master Fung!' Has a nice ring to it, huh, Viper?"

A flash of green, and the next moment he was upside down with his nose around his ankles wondering how he got in that position. A slight weight settled on his upturned jaw.

"That's 'Master Viper' until you hear otherwise."

A tickle brushed his cheek then in a way that could only be one thing. Reaching up to touch the spot wonderingly, he watched in his upside down field of vision as the sultry serpent hopped off him and slithered away.

"Shah! Yeah, right."

* * *

"Viper?"

From her place beneath a cherry blossom tree Viper left off contemplating the buds and turned to where Po stood a few paces off. He looked so hesitant and anxious her heart melted a little. She patted the space beside her with her tail. "Have a seat, Po."

He obeyed. The two of them sat for a while on this lovely clear day. It was nice to have some quiet time together, she reflected.

"So… are you still mad at me?"

Viper turned the question over in her mind. Shall I let him down easy? Decisions, decisions.

At last she lifted her head. "Hey, Po. Doesn't that cloud look like an egg?"

"Hm?" He squinted up at the sky. "More like a dumpling, really."

Her mouth twitched in a smile. "And look at that long one, almost like a big snake."

"I guess. Or noodles. Lots and lots of noodles together. Say, are you hungry?"

As he continued to gaze up, something light and soft tickled against his fuzzy cheek.

"To answer your question… no."

Startled, Po reached up to touch his face, which tingled in a pleasant way. When he glanced down Viper was gone. Twisting about, he caught a glimpse of her tail disappearing around the bend.

The Dragon Warrior sat for a while by himself. Eventually a happy smile worked up his face.

"Best day ever," he declared.

* * *

"What did you think of the song, sonny?"

Heading out of town, Fung turned in surprise to see the same rabbit from before sitting on a stump.

"Oh, hey." He thought back a bit. "I liked it. Not something I'd dance to, but still nice."

"I'm glad to hear it," the blind musician nodded his head in appreciation.

Something else came back to him. Reaching down, Fung opened the pouch at his belt brimming with coins. He took out two, then stopped, considering. After a while he dropped them back in.

A clink of metal came to the old bunny's ears. When he reached down to its source, a full pouch met his hand.

"Thanks for the help, old guy."

With that Fung headed off down the road.

"Hey, sonny!"

The crocodile turned and quickly jerked up a hand as something heavy came flying towards him. When he opened his eyes it was to find the pouch now back in his possession.

Mystified, he looked back to see the blind musician holding up two coins with his prodigious incisors bared in a grin.

"No sense being greedy, right? Cuz all you need is love!"

"Shah!" he smiled back. "Yeah, right! Take care!"

A spirited tune followed Fung as he trotted out of sight. Behind him the musician stopped playing and lifted his face to the sweet kiss of sunlight. He tossed the coins up into the air, where they flashed and gleamed.

"It only takes two," he reflected.

The coins clinked together as they came down on an empty tree stump. A swirl of peach blossoms swished around that spot, and then rode the wind to vanish into the clear blue sky.

 _ **FIN.**_


End file.
